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Roll out the Pink Carpet – It’s Time for the AVN Awards! |
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Once every year, anyone who’s anyone in the adult industry – contract stars, directors, studio heads and a huge number of wanna-bes and hangers-on – descend on Vegas like a horde of horny locusts for a week of wheeling & dealing, all-you-can-drink parties, and stunts wild enough to make Howard Stern blush. And they’re all there for one thing – the AVN awards.
Held every January, the AVN Adult Movie Awards is the biggest award show in the adult movie industry. AVN (the premiere adult news publication) rolls out the red carpet for the night, complete with stars in their hottest dresses, camera-flashing paparazzi and even snooze-worthy acceptance speeches. Every studio submits its very best titles in dozens of different categories, ranging from the coveted best video feature and performer of the year awards to less prestigious entries like best DVD menu and best packaging. Each studio vying to collect the most trophies for a year’s worth of bragging rights.
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It’s January, and that means one of two things – New Year’s Resolutions or lists talking about all the memorable things that happened in 2008. We’re saving the article about resolutions for later, but here’s our list of the eight most interesting products that came out in 2008.
8. Cyberglass Snake of Paradise – When you find this cyberglass snake hiding under the sheets, get ready to scream! The amber nubs along the top & bottom and curvy shape provide extra stimulation. And the extra-strength glass easily adjusts to hot or cold temperatures for soothing massages or icy thrills.
7. Pirates: Stagnetti’s Revenge – It’s not a toy, but do you really care that much? The most anticipated movie of 2008, this sequel to the best-selling adult movie in history comes packed with an adventure-filled story, genuinely funny jokes and intense sex. It also racked up over 20 AVN nominations, including Best Video Feature, Best Group Sex Scene, Best All-Girl Couples Sex Scene and more.
6. Vibrating Perfect Ass – A life-size masturbator, this is one of the most life-like products we’ve ever sold! Whether you’re spanking, pinching or pumping away inside this bootylicious toy, it’s impossible to keep your hands off this stunning replica. The completely separate ass and pussy tunnels are shaped to take everything you've got and leave you completely drained and satisfied! Plus it includes bullet vibrators to add an extra little bounce to your step!
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Ring in 2009 with Sexy Resolutions |
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Yes, it is a little late to give you ideas for making resolutions. So rather than put together some self-righteous and boring list about things you could change, we decided it would be a lot more fun to take a quick office poll and put together a list of the funniest resolutions. And if you should happen to get an idea for next year, feel free to go ahead and steal it.
Mike: Start buying lottery tickets from a luckier store.
Amy: Stop treating my roommate’s medicine cabinet like my personal candy store.
Sarah: Start playing office bingo during meetings so my boss won’t yell at me for falling asleep.
Charlie: Prove my dad wrong by genetically modifying a tree so it really does grow money.
Larry: Stop trying to get into drag races with cops driving unmarked cars.
Wanda: Stop exercising and gain 10 pounds.
Nancy: Help preserve the English language by beating anyone who says LOL in face-to-face conversations.
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Ask Laura & Larry
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Advice Column:Everyone knows that men and women operate on two completely different wavelengths. To help bridge the divide, we’ve put together a team of sexperts (Laura and Larry) to offer their perspectives and help solve any problem you might have, other than unusual rashes or bumps. Ask Laura and Larry your questions by emailing them at asklaura@adameve.com and check out next month’s newsletter to get their answers! |
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Questions of the Month |
| Dear Laura & Larry,
My husband has become very dependent on adult films to “get him started.” This is fine sometimes, but often leaves me feeling inadequate. Do you have any suggestions for us that might be able to take the place of the films sometimes?--Wants to be Enough
Laura’s Response:
Dear Wants to Be Enough,
Traditionally, men are more visually stimulated than women. A movie to get your husband in the mood can be a harmless way to start things up. Trust me, there is no real competition or comparison here--you always win, because you are the real woman! Ever hear that old saying “It doesn’t matter where he gets his appetite as long as he eats at home”? As far as trying something different to get started, why not role-play a little bit? An easy way to do this is act out a favorite scene from an adult movie, and embrace some naughty characters. Check out our Naughty School Girl Uniform, Naughty Nurse outfit, or even the Wild Cowgirl for some role-playing fantasy fun!
Larry’s Response:
Dear Wants To Be Enough,
This is a common complaint of wives everywhere these days, and the problem isn’t you. It isn’t him, either. There is nothing wrong with either of you – the problem is the very different ideas and attitudes that men and women have about sex. This difference in perspective has caused more marital issues than thermostats, so pay close attention.
For women, sex is about the relationship. Past the initial infatuation stage, women traditionally see sex as an expression of their feelings within the relationship, a validation of the security of their intimate interpersonal relationship. Any distractions from that focus are often considered threats – and porn is right up there. When a woman sees her man enjoying an erotic moment that she’s not responsible for, she feels a loss of control and a sense of competition with these performers that all too often feeds into any latent insecurities she might have.And to see your husband need such images to warm up brings up plenty of adequacy issues, too – such as the idea that you should “be enough woman” for him.
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In This Issue: |
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Missed An Issue? |
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Sexual Horoscope:
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| Looking for guidance in affairs of the bedroom? See what the stars have to say about your sex life! Loaded with what to expect, our monthly sex astrologer offers up a whirlwind of advice from the stars to keep your love life hopping! |
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Cancer (June 22–July 22)
New year . . . no hair! Go totally bald down south with our Adam & Eve Pretty Pussy Shaver for a hot, slippery, exciting month of sensual pleasures! |
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Leo (July 23–Aug 22)
Spice it up with some new positions and new tricks for old positions! Sadie Allison’s Ride ‘Em Cowgirl will get you both going! |
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Virgo (Aug 23–Sept 23)
Virgos appreciate romance! The A&E Bag of Love will heat up your sheets long before Valentine’s Day. |
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Libra (Sept 24–Oct 23)
Ladies love the oral! For a new twist, get a Vibrating Clit Climaxer to combine the suction of oral with the sensations of jelly fingers and vibrations! |
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Scorpio (Oct 24–Nov 22)
Get a secret weapon for your sex life. Lust cologne is pheromone-laden and is meant for women and women! |
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Sagittarius (Nov 23–Dec 21)
New Year, new pleasures! A great toy for him or her: the Candy Curves Exciter Vibrator. Perfect for clit, G-spot, or prostate stimulation! |
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Capricorn (Dec 22–Jan 20)
Expand your horizons with a little sensual bondage to brighten up the bedroom! Our Beginner’s Bondage Fantasy kit is perfect for first-timers. |
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Aquarius (Jan 21–Feb 19)
Pack a wallop! My Private O Vibrator makes a great gift for horny Aquarians of any gender. |
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Pisces (Feb 20–Mar 20)
Pisces men deserve a treat! A Luscious Lips Masturbator is a thrilling option for tongue-stud stimulation for yourself or a friend! |
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Aries (Mar 21–Apr 20)
Discreet, hot orgasms are the way to go! The Fukuoku 9000 Massager is perfect for solo fun, oral sex, and couple fun too! |
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Taurus (Apr 21–May 21)
Drape your woman in a Pearl Body Necklace and then add a “pearl necklace” of your own! |
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Gemini (May 22–June 21)
Water signs like things slippery! Gemini ladies will appreciate the A&E Ladies Curvy G, applied with lube and creativity!
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Description
Contoured to fit up against your hot spots, this vibe's unique "throbbing" pattern gently hammers out body-quaking orgasms! Use the base knob to dial in just the right vibrations! Covered in soft skin, 4" tall and up to 2" wide, it's smaller than most vibes of such intensity. Uses 2 AA batteries (sold separately).
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Tell us what you think of the Who's Nailin' Paylin DVD Email us at newsletter@adameve.com
Serra Paylin – she’ll go all the way for your vote! |
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Democrat or Republican, Man or Woman – Everyone’s behind Paylin! See the movie everyone’s talking about for yourself!
Backdoor dealings, scandalous foreign affairs and cross-party threesomes – politics doesn’t come any dirtier than this! MILF star Lisa Ann plays Alaska Gov. Serra Paylin in her bid for the Oral Office in this sex-packed parody that will leave you laughing… when you’re not getting down and dirty, you betcha! 5 scenes. 104 minutes, plus 48 bonus minutes. | |
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Recycle Your Old Catalogs |
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Did you know that you can recycle the catalogs and letters you receive in the mail?
From our famous mail-order catalog to that IRS audit letter, the majority of mail you receive is 100% recyclable.
Adam & Eve recently started working with the Direct Marketing Association to increase recycling awareness. Just look for the special “Recycle Please” logo on catalogs and other letters you receive in the mail and drop them off at your local recycling center after placing your order.
With your help, we’ll significantly increase the recycling rate and help preserve forests and other natural treasures for future generations to enjoy. |
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Help us, Help you! |
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In our quest to be the best newsletter we can be on a low-budget, limited coffee breaks, and staff of typewriting monkeys, we need your help.
If you have any suggestions of things you’d like to see in the future, especially monthly features so we don’t have to waste precious brain space trying to come up with semi-original ideas, then please email them to us at newsletter@adameve.com.
We promise to read your ideas carefully and thoroughly before making fun of the lamer ones and claiming the better ones as our own ideas. Seriously though, if you should proposition an idea that we end up using, we’ll give you a shout-out plus a free annual subscription to the newsletter.
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