CAN A VIRTUAL RELATIONSHIP TURN INTO SOMETHING REAL?
You can Ask Dr. Kat by emailing her at ask@drkat.com.

Dear Dr. Kat,

Hello. I'm a 21 year old female having a virtual relationship with a 42 year old male. He is a really sweet person. We have phone sex every day and as long as I'm a performer on live cam I usually see him on his cam as well. It seems we know each other's bodies like if we lived 10 years together. Now we seem to be ready to meet each other. But since we made that decision I feel uneasy...I'm afraid that in reality it wouldn't be so good. I'm really afraid of disappointment. Can I do something to minimize the risk of it? Will we be able to have a normal relationship? Also, he wants to try to work with me online...is that a normal desire?

Thanks,
Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,

You seem to be blessed with a very special relationship thanks to the wonders of technology. It sounds like you've both established a connection (sexual and otherwise); now, what to do with that? The development of web relationships is still a very recent occurrence and many individuals find themselves trying to figure out how to begin incorporating their Internet lovers into their daily life. Deciding to meet one another seems to be the logical next step. Granted, there are some individuals who enjoy their Internet relationships exactly as they are because it fits well into their lifestyle. I’m sure some appreciate the fantasy component of it – never wanting to deal with the reality of meeting one another in person. But most people are curious, and if given the opportunity will want to see if the energy they share over the web translates to an in-person meeting. As far as minimizing the possibility of disappointment, it really helps to know that your meeting will at the very least provide you with more information about this person. It can help you decide what kind of relationship you want with him and if you want to work with him. Information is always good; whether it's something that you want to know or not, it's always better to embrace the reality of the situation.

Of course you'll have the opportunity to develop a "normal" relationship! Just because you met one another in a non-traditional way doesn’t mean it can’t develop into a more conventional relationship. I think you should both be clear about what you're looking for and how you'd like to see the situation play out. Perhaps develop a comfort level with him first in person before delving into working together, but the desire to work with you seems quite logical based on how you met. Simply follow your heart and do what feels right in the moment. Then the both of you can decide where to go next.

Sincerely,
Dr. Kat

Listen to Dr. Kat's FREE iTunes Podcast "SEX CHAT WITH DR. KAT AND HER GAY BOYFRIEND" here: http://www.drkat.com/Listen.html See what all the buzz is about! Sex Chat is TOP 20 of Sexuality podcasts on iTunes! Hi I'm Dr. Kat, Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Therapist. Join my gay "boyfriend", Ross and I on the couch as we dish about celebrity sex and relationships, sex in the news, what sex toys we like, the nitty gritty of our own relationships and all the while answering your questions about sex, dating, marriage, STDs, sex ed, and the trials and tribulations of life and love in general. It's a 2 for 1 as you get your sex questions answered from both of our perspectives and we have a lot of fun while we're at it. Find out more at www.DrKat.com and e-mail us your questions at sexchat@drkat.com or call our 24/7 Listener Line at 213-270-1968

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Candidly Speaking
by Candida Royalle
© Femme Productions ®

Valentine's Day for One
It's that time of year again, you know it: When it seems every store window has bright red hearts and plump cupids aiming their arrows at us, and husbands and boyfriends are stressing over what to do: expensive meal at a restaurant? Roses? Sexy lingerie?

And yet the number of couples actually celebrating Valentines Day is probably a fraction compared to those of us who are rolling our eyes and planning on avoiding restaurants altogether on that fateful angst-ridden day. But does it mean that we, who are currently without a romantic interest or significant other, are to be completely ignored and devoid of any fun, erotic stimulation?

Of course not! Remember that iconic lyric from the love generation, ‘love the one you're with'? Well, if you're lookin' in the mirror and you're the only one you see, then it's time to do some self-lovin'!

I like to draw a steamy hot bath and drizzle some fragrant skin softening oil in to the tub as it fills. Then I light some candles and put on some mood music and… ahhhh, that first hit of hot silky water as you dip your toe in to this inviting bath that can take you away to a deeply relaxing and sensual place. I like to just soak and let my mind wander as I let the floral essences do their work on me…lavender is lovely for relaxing. I find myself naturally caressing my skin as my body sinks in, my arms, my soft breasts, my belly and thighs. Then a little lower. I like to bring in my favorite water-proof toys for when the heat starts rising up inside my body and my mind begins wandering in to more forbidden territory. A nicely shaped dildo or a neat little waterproof vibe, maybe some lube. Because I have no where to be and nothing to do but to bring myself some well-deserved pleasure, I take the opportunity to luxuriously take my time. I find the longer I breath deeply in to my body and take my time letting the orgasmic feelings climb, the more powerful and profound my climax.

After a long delicious erotic bath like that, I'm feeling satisfied and cared for. Who knows, maybe next year I'll have someone join me!

For a peek at a cute water-proof vibe perfect for the bath, check out my sea-colored Natural Contours® JOLIE™ at http://www.naturalcontours.com

Candida Royalle is a former star of the blue movie screen who in 1984 created Femme Productions(R) and pioneered the genre of woman-friendly adult erotica. In 1999, she launched the Euro-designed Natural Contours(R) line of high-style discreet intimate products. She's the author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do, (Simon & Schuster) and a sought after lecturer at universities and professional conferences, including the World Congress on Sexology, the American Psychiatric Association and the Smithsonian Institute. Royalle's product lines are available through AdamEve.com. For more information about Candida Royalle, visit www.candidaroyalle.com.

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Valentine's Day Year Round

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, you've probably been bombarded with emails, web articles and news stories about planning the ultimate romantic night. And it's all advice that you've heard dozens of times before already. Rather than contribute to the spectacle surrounding Valentine's Day, we're going to talk about the other 365 days of the year – 2012 is a leap year after all – and keeping romance alive all year long.

One of the best ways to keep your relationship fun and romantic is to surprise your partner with a special treat. It could be something as simple as a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolate or as fun as breakfast in bed one weekend.

Another great way to keep romance alive is with sex toys. While most women would love a new vibrator and most guys would enjoy a new adult DVD, you should check out something more couples related that the two of you can share. Position aids, like the Liberator ramps, or a kinky bondage item make great ideas.

And for the ultimate romantic idea – nothing can beat a second honeymoon. While some couples try to recreate their first honeymoon, it's best to plan something different. That way, you've got two distinct memories to cherish!

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