Dildos, vibrators, bondage gear & more! Learn about choosing & using sex toys, courtesy of sexologist Dr. Jenni Skyler.

Chapter 5: An Introduction to Sex Toys

Chapter 5: An Introduction to Sex Toys

It’s Playtime! I thought I knew a lot about sex toys, but that was before I started working with the folks at Adam & Eve. They’ve got decades of experience dealing with everything from anal toys to vibrators. I could write an entire book about their comprehensive collection! Instead, we've curated the “best of” for you in this chapter so you can get started on your sexual journey.

What Are Sex Toys?

pile of many different types of sex toys

Loosely speaking, sex toys are any object used for sexual pleasure. That includes things created, marketed and sold as sex toys like rabbit vibrators, dildos, butt plugs and all the other goodies available at Adam & Eve. I've also includes things you have lying around your house like that bedroom pillow for grinding your clit on or that sock that you can wrap around your penis as you masturbate.

With enough arousal and creativity, you can turn pretty much anything into a sex toy. Just look at the handheld shower head in your bathroom. Yep, it has pulsating massage functions and can offer plenty of pleasure during a long weekend shower.

Many couples have perfectly happy sex lives without ever picking up a sex toy. But if you've been curious about them, sex toys can turn good sex into great sex. They can play a pivotal role in keeping your sex life new and exciting year after year – especially for people in long-term relationships. 

Sex toys are great at bettering what you already do in bed. Position aids like sex furniture or swings let you experiment with new positions. Penis rings have been known to help men last longer and stay harder for more enjoyable sex. Clitoral vibrators help women orgasm faster and easier, whether they’re having partner sex or masturbating.

Sex toys also encourage experimentation. A slim little butt plug one day could lead to an anal vibe down the road, and maybe even a strap-on harness and dildo in the future. A pair of fur-lined handcuffs one night could lead to a paddle and then a set of bed restraints. As you start trying new things, you’ll learn more about your body and yourself – leading you to experiment with the diversity of options available!

Different Types of Sex Toys

There so many different sex toys at Adam & Eve that it would take me days to cover them all. So, I’m just going to give you some quick highlights about their most popular types of toys. If you want some additional information, you can check with the sex toy experts at Adam & Eve to get the inside scoop directly from the source.

Bangin Betty Stroker Kit

Anal & Prostate Toys Like their name suggests, these toys are made for backdoor fun. They’re made using special anal-friendly materials that are easy to clean. They also include special safety features like flared bases for quick and easy removal when you’re all finished.

Bondage Gear

Bondage Gear These toys let you get kinky with restraints, whips, blindfolds and more! Adam & Eve offers beginner-friendly bondage gear for curious couples. Their Velcro restraints will keep you tied down, but you can still escape in case it's not your cup of tea. Check out their great selection of bondage kits for a wide assortment of gear.

Clit Vibes & Stimulators

Clit Vibes & Stimulators Focus directly on your clit and let the magic happen with one of these O-mazing stimulators. Many clit vibrators are discreetly sized, making them easy to hide around the house and even in your luggage if you spend a lot of time traveling.

Dildos

Dildos Dildos are one of the oldest sex toys and still one of the best! These dildos come in a wide range of shapes & sizes for seriously “full-fill-ing” fun. Plus, they don’t need batteries or charging either, so they’ll never leave you high and dry!

G-Spot Vibes

G-Spot Vibes With their specially shaped shafts, these vibes are made to find and please your G-Spot! The vibrating motor is almost always located inside the tip for maximum stimulation.

Male Masturbators

Male Masturbators When your hand needs a break, these sex toys pick up the slack. Male masturbators are lined with ticklers and teasers for all kinds of stimulation. Many of them feature a realistic look and feel so they practically come to life in your hand.

Penis Pumps

Penis Pumps Most guys secretly wish they were a little longer or a little thicker. And that’s what penis pumps do! These toys pump and pull blood into your penis so you can reach your full potential. They’re also great for making you extra hard!

Penis Rings and Enhancers

Penis Rings & Enhancers Many toy experts consider penis rings the ultimate couples sex toy. Guys love them for their ability to boost size and staying power. Partners love them for the same reasons! An extra bonus is that many rings come with vibrators for extra stimulation.

Rabbit Vibrators

Rabbit Vibrators Known for their distinctive bunny ears, rabbits are some of the most popular vibrators in the world for their almost-magical orgasm abilities. This is due to their dual- and even triple-stimulation abilities. By focusing powerful vibrations on multiple erogenous zones at the same time, rabbits are more likely to help women have an orgasm than any other sex toy or vibe.

Wand Massagers

Wand Massagers When it comes to pure power, it’s pretty hard to beat a wand! These are some of the strongest hand-held vibrators you can buy. Wands are made for external stimulation, so they work best on your clit and nipples (not to mention stiff backs and sore muscles). Adam & Eve also sells accessories for wands so you can use them for vaginal & G-Spot play.

Shopping for a New Adult Toy

pile of many different types of sex toys

When you’re looking for a new sex toy, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by the sheer amount for sale. There are thousands of products loaded with all kinds of special features. Finding the best toy for your needs out of all those options seems almost impossible – especially if you’re a beginner. So, I interviewed some of Adam & Eve’s own toy experts to see what they had to say about shopping for a new sex toy.

Mike, who’s been working with sex toys for over 30 years, told me that there’s no such thing as the perfect sex toy. “If you’re expecting to find the perfect sex toy, you’re gonna be disappointed,” he said. “This is because your “perfect” toy changes as your needs change. One week it might be a little travel-friendly toy you pack in your luggage for a business trip or vacation. Another week, it might be a set of bondage restraints, or it could be a vibrator that makes you climax harder than you’ve ever done before.”

Mike and his co-worker Julie, who’s been a vibrator merchandiser for over a decade, shared some of their expertise when it comes to buying a new sex toy. Their advice boils down to five simple steps:

1. Focus on your needs

Julie recommended asking yourself exactly what you want to do with a toy – the more specific you can get, the better. “Saying you want a vibrator isn’t good enough,” she said. “We’ve got hundreds of them. You need to figure out what you want that vibrator to do – whether it’s for anal, dual stimulation or your G-Spot. That’s something we can work with.”

Julie added that most sex toys are pretty self-descriptive, which makes shopping a little easier. “They’re either named for their general shape like a rabbit or they’re named for the erogenous zone they stimulate like clit vibes or G-Spot vibes,” she explained.

If you’re really not sure what you want in a vibrator, she recommended trying Adam & Eve’s new Vibrator Wizard. This cool little tool asks a few simple questions to help you find the vibe of your dreams.

2. Decide your size

After narrowing down your options to a specific type of sex toy, Julie recommended looking closely at the available sizes. “A lot of people only look at the size last, and that’s a huge mistake,” she said. “The last thing you want is to get your heart set on a particular vibe, only to open up the box and find out that it’s too big for you to use.”

Julie recommended that sex toy beginners start with something average sized, around 4-7 inches long by 1-1.5 inches wide. (If you’re looking for an anal toy, you should go much smaller – around 3-4 inches long by 1 inch wide.) You can bump those numbers up or down depending on your personal experience. “If you enjoyed the size of a larger partner, then you'll obviously want something a little larger,” she added.

3. Pick a material

“A little thing like the material your sex toy is made from plays a major role in how you use it, how long it lasts, and how much it costs,” Mark said. Harder materials like plastic or glass last longer and are better at transmitting vibrations than softer materials like silicone or TPR. But hard toys are also rigid, so they don’t feel as comfortable as a softer one that can bend or flex. And when it comes to anal toys, you need a non-porous material like silicone, plastic or glass for hygienic purposes.

4. Set a price range

Next, Mark suggested determining your budget. “We’ve got toys at all price levels,” Mark explained. “But there’s a world of difference between something that costs $20 and something that costs $100.” Setting your price range allows you to compare similar toys, ensuring you get the biggest bang for your buck.

5. Select your features

Julie said sex toys come fully loaded with all kinds of special features, but there are a few key ones that she looks for every time. “If at all possible, I like getting something that’s waterproof because it makes cleaning so much easier,” she said. “Next, I like something with multiple vibration modes. The more stimulation options there are, the more likely you’re going to find something you like. Last, but not least, I like to go rechargeable if possible. Rechargeable toys tend to be stronger and more durable than ones that use regular old AA or AAA batteries. As long as you remember to keep them charged up, you’re golden.”

In addition to their expert advice, I’d like to throw in one more tip myself: customer reviews. I’m a big fan of customer reviews when it comes to making any online purchase, so I was tickled pink to learn that Adam & Eve has about 100,000 verified reviews from real customers. These reviews are a great way to get a little inside perspective from someone who’s bought a toy and actually used it. Just take them with a grain of salt. One person might think a vibrator’s too powerful, while someone else might think it’s not powerful enough!

If you’re still struggling to find a new sex toy after all that, I’ve taken the liberty of picking out some fun items that you’re sure to love. Just keep reading to check them out!

Top Sex Toys for Women

When it comes to sex toys, it’s definitely a woman’s world. But we’ve also got a lot more toys and vibes than guys could ever dream of!

adam and eve silicone g gasm rabbit-

Leading the pack is the infamous rabbit vibrator. I’ve never met a bad bunny, but I’m particularly fond of the Silicone G-Gasm. This soft and sensual vibe features a pair of powerful motors – one in the curved G-Spot-friendly tip and a second in the clit-tickling rabbit ears. It keeps your erogenous zones purring with multiple stimulation modes. It’s also fully waterproof so you can use it in the shower or tub. Best of all, it comes at a great price (especially with a coupon), so it won’t break the bank either!

True Feel Dildo

Next up is a classic dildo. The True Feel Dildo is made using a special layered process that makes it feel incredibly lifelike. The inner core is firm and hard for easy penetration, while the outside is soft and flexible for comfort. It’s one of the most realistic dildos you can find! The penis-shaped tip and raised veins stimulate your vagina and G-Spot, while the balls rub against your clit for even more fun!

Magic Wand Original

For the strongest handheld vibrations around, you can’t beat the Magic Wand Original. When it came out over a decade ago, this wand massager become an instant hit for its unbelievable power. And it’s still going strong years later! If this one’s a little out of your price range, Adam & Eve actually makes their own versions – the Magic Massager and the Magic Massager Deluxe. The Deluxe comes with more vibration modes!

Satisfyer Breathless by Adam and Eve

Next up is the Satisfyer Breathless by Adam & Eve. The Breathless combines Satisfyer’s air-powered stimulation technology with Adam & Eve’s vibrator expertise to create a mind-blowing sex toy! The main stimulator blows and sucks on your clit, similar to experiencing oral sex. It has a second motor that vibrates for even more orgasmic sensations. Did I mention that it’s waterproof and rechargeable too?

Pink Gem Anal Plug

Probably the cutest of the bunch is the Pink Gem Anal Plug. This hefty butt plug is made from a special aluminum alloy, so you can warm it up or cool it down for thrilling temperature play. It also features a sparkling gem in the base to give your backdoor some seriously sexy bling.

Greedy Girl Clit Rabbit

If you think the best part of a rabbit are the bunny ears, then you’ll love the Greedy Girl Clit Rabbit. This vibe does away with the big, bulky shaft and enlarges the bunny ears. That leaves you with a bullet-sized vibrator that’s perfect for your clit. This rabbit comes with 10 powerful vibration modes, including a variety of speeds and patterns. And it’s waterproof too, so you can use almost anywhere… even the shower!

G-Gasm Delight

The G-Gasm Delight lacks the glitz and glamour of more expensive vibrators, but it’s special shape makes it one of the best G-Spot vibes around! The enlarged tip and angled shaft make your G-Spot incredibly easy to find. And once you’ve tracked it down, the G-Gasm’s powerful motor in the tip goes to work – focusing all its power directly on your G-Spot. It won’t take long for you to learn why this vibe’s named the G-Gasm!

Top Sex Toys for Men

You know what they say about boys and their toys… and that applies to sex toys too!

Fleshlight Go: Surge

My top recommendation for men is the Fleshlight Go: Surge. This heavy-duty stroker comes in a discreet plastic case for easy storage. Inside is a soft, lifelike sleeve lined with all kinds of ticklers and teasers for a mind-blowing penis massage. But that’s not all! Fleshlights are famous for the blowjob-like suction, and you can even adjust the suction power on this one!

3-Point Prostate Massager

Next up on the hit toy parade is the 3-Point Prostate Massager – perfect for guys who like to score (and orgasm) big! The anal vibrator features an ergonomic shaft carefully designed to maximize your prostate stimulation. Its powerful motor delivers 10 intense vibration modes directly to your prostate, while a second motor works your perineum at the same time! 

Max Results Penis Pump

Last, but definitely not least, is the Max Results Penis Pump. This heavy-duty toy will pump you up. And by you, I mean your penis. Simply slip your shaft inside the long tube, press it firmly against your body, and start squeezing the user-friendly handle. This creates a vacuum inside the tube to suck extra blood into the penis – making you bigger and harder. It’s great for older guys who need a little help with obtaining an erection, but younger guys can benefit from it too!

Top Sex Toys for Couples

Couples that play together, stay together!

Couples with bondage toys

Topping my list of great toys for couples is the Under The Bed Restraint System. This kinky bondage item features four restraints that fit underneath your mattress. The softly padded restraints Velcro around your wrists and ankles to restrain you or your lover to the bed. When you’re done, you can simply tuck them away between your mattress and box spring without anyone knowing. It’s one of Adam & Eve’s most popular and most discreet bondage toys.

Another great toy for couples is the Enhancer Ring. This penis ring slips snugly around a man’s shaft and balls, boosting his erection and staying power for more enjoyable sex. This ring increases your fun even more by including a bullet vibrator to tickle his partner with every thrust. It’s a fantastic and easy way to spice up your love life!

I also recommend checking out the Liberator Ramp & Wedge Combo. This has been of Adam & Eve’s highest-rated products for over a decade. The ramp and wedge are extremely versatile position aids, allowing you and your lover to experiment with all kinds of kinky and innovative sex positions that you couldn’t do otherwise. They’re great for young adventuresome couples as well as older ones who aren’t as flexible as they used to be!

We-Vibe Match Couples Massager

There are even more great options from which to choose. One is the We-Vibe Match Couples Massager. This vibrator is made to be worn during sex allowing it to stimulate two heterosexual partners at the same time! It’s shaped like the letter ‘C.’ One arm goes inside to stimulate her vagina and his penis. The other arm presses against her clit for additional stimulation and to help hold the vibe in place. It even comes with a remote control so you can try its 10 vibration modes without taking it out!

Another innovative option is The Strap-On Play Set. Designed for couples who want to try pegging, this set comes with an adjustable harness and three dildos with different sizes and shapes. Beginners can start out with the smallest one, and gradually work their way up. More experienced users can jump straight to the big dildo for that fuller feeling.

How to Use Your New Sex Toy

Now that you’ve got a sex toy, it’s time to play!

Using a new sex toy

It might seem tedious, but the very first thing you should do is carefully read your toy’s instructions or owner guide.

After learning how your toy works, make sure it’s squeaky clean before putting it anywhere near your bits, let alone inside your body. Generally speaking, I like to use soap and warm water or a sex toy cleaner. The benefit of the sex toy cleaners is that they are specifically designed and compatible to work with all types of sex toy materials. Simply apply the cleaner onto a lint-free cloth, then thoroughly wipe your toy down. You can use a separate, clean cloth to dry it off. Some toys might have different steps – so make sure you read the directions!

Once your sex toy is clean, you’ll need to power it up (unless it doesn’t vibrate). This could mean adding a fresh set of batteries or charging it up. While skipping this step and jumping directly to playtime might be tempting, I strongly discourage it. If you want your new toy to perform at its best, you need to make sure it’s got the power it needs.

Next, take some time to get to know your new sex toy. Hold it in your hand, and maybe even stroke it a little to say hello and experience its feel and flexibility. Make sure you know how it works, including how to turn it on and off. (Some vibrators, especially the more expensive ones, can be surprisingly complicated.) If it comes with multiple stimulation modes, play around with the different settings.

If you bought this toy intending to use it with your partner, then introduce it to them. Take some time to explore it together, so your partner won’t feel threatened or intimidated by your new sex toy. Develop a plan with your lover about using the toy, involving when and how you’ll use it.

Once you’ve got everything figured out, it’s time to lube up your toy or vibrator. I strongly suggest using a water-based lubricant. Water-based lubes are safe to use with all types of sex toy materials. Apply a generous coating of lube over the toy as well as any body parts it might contact. In addition to keeping everything moving smoothly, lube also provides a protective barrier between you and your toy.

Now, it’s finally time for the fun part to begin. Insert your toy or insert yourself inside the toy. Start off with slow and sensual motions as you and the toy become familiar with each other. As your body warms up, you can start moving faster and or deeper. If you’re using a vibrator, now’s a good time to turn it on.

Continue exploring the toy and your body at the same time. See how different erogenous zones respond to your toy or vibrator. If it has multiple stimulation modes, make sure to try them all out to see which feels best on a particular spot. If you’re using the toy with a partner, encourage them to tease you all over with the toy. If something feels good, then keep doing it by all means. Keep playing until you’re worn out, hopefully after having an orgasm or two!

Cleaning & Storing Your Toy

Couples with bondage toys

Once you’ve finished using your sex toy, it’s important to clean it as soon as possible. (It’s a lot easier to do it now than the next morning.) Grab your handy sex toy cleaner again, squirt a little onto a lint-free cloth, and then wipe down your toy thoroughly. Dry it off with a clean cloth.

If your toy’s rechargeable, now’s a good time to plug it in and top it off. If it uses batteries, I recommend removing them – especially if it might be a few days before you use your toy again. This helps your batteries last longer so you can get the most out of them. (You might need to modify these steps depending on the type of toy you have and the material it’s made from. That’s why it’s important to always read the directions!)

Once your sex toy’s all cleaned up and squared away, you’ll need to put it away. Keep your toy in a cool, dark spot – preferably away from prying eyes. It might be cliché, but your nightstand or under your bed are both good spots for storing sex toys. I recommend my clients keep theirs in a small box or bag. You can find some with built-in combination locks if you’re worried about privacy.

If you’ve got multiple sex toys, you’ll also need a storage bag for each of them. Sex toy materials can sometimes interact with each other, potentially damaging your toys. A dedicated storage bag prevents this from happening, allowing you to keep using and enjoying your sex toys for many nights to come.