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Dear Laura & Larry, My wife and I enjoy a very healthy and exciting sex life. However, there is one aspect that we seem to have trouble with. My wife likes to give me oral sex, but we both get frustrated that she cannot bring me to climax. She gives up due to jaw fatigue. We have tried some of the products that are available to help with that, but it seems to no avail. The other really frustrating is that only once in my sex life have I been able to climax from oral sex. What can we do to achieve our mutual goal of me climaxing from the fellatio that my wife gives me? --Orally Challenged
Laura's Response:
Dear Challenged, Your issue isn?t that rare, although I understand that it can be frustrating. Consider this: Men generally masturbate with a relatively tight-squeezing hand, and the vagina (and anus, for that matter) can grip and squeeze a penis all over. In comparison, a human mouth just doesn?t provide the same amount of all-over gripping. It could be that oral sex simply doesn?t offer enough stimulation. So try this: first, lay off the self-love for a few days. Then, prolong the foreplay and teasing until you?re rock hard. Then, have her use a masturbator on you! A simple one, with a tight hole, like the Futurotic Pocket Pal. Lube it up thoroughly (with flavored lube, like ID Juicy Lube and slip it on you. The key here: move the masturbator up and down on the shaft of your penis, and she can concentrate all her tongue loving on your very sensitive penis head. The masturbator warms up, and is very squeezy, so it will feel like her mouth, only more intense!
Larry's Response:
Dear Challenged, Dude, sucks to be you! No, really, this is not an uncommon problem, nor a difficult one to solve. The essence of the issue is overstimulation of the penis. That?s right, your little soldier can get just too torqued up by your wife?s efforts and miss the opportunity to blow, kinda like missing your exit on the interstate. That is, there?s another one up the road, but it might be miles and you?re wife is low on gas. Then the frustration and performance anxiety set in, and the next thing you know, happy fun time is over.
The easiest way for you to make that magical mouth moment happen is for your wife to pay close attention to her oral style. While conventional wisdom dictates that if you are close to orgasm, then doing the thing that brought you closer a little harder and faster will get you there, |
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the fact is that your pecker appreciates a regular change-of-pace. For instance, if she?s concentrating on long, deep throat-style plunges while stroking the base of the shaft rapidly with her hand, then as you signal the approach to your orgasm (which every gentleman does, unless previously decided by mutual consent) then she should switch up to cupping your balls while doing butterfly licks of the head for a while. The change in stimulation reduces the numb feeling that precludes your difficulty achieving climax. Changing up the style, intensity, and approach might be just the thing to help you out.
If that doesn?t work on its own, then consider having your wife adopt a more passive posture, allowing you to ?have your way? with her orally. Not only does this reduce the psychological pressure you both feel with her controlling the pace, it allows you to relax and do what comes naturally. Just be aware of her limits, and be ready to back off when she needs to breathe. Conversely, consider intermixing fellatio with your regular love-making, withdrawing prematurely and climaxing in her mouth. While some women dislike the taste of their own juices, having a beverage of some sort nearby to dilute the effect can overcome this minor obstacle.
Finally, if all else fails, consider having her stimulate your prostate while she gives you head. There are a huge variety of toys available for just that purpose. If you can abandon any residual homophobia about the subject, incorporating your prostate into the process might be just the trigger you need for your cannon to fire. In any case, remind your wife to practice her technique daily. You might not ever find that magical combination, but you?ll have a whole lot of fun trying! Good luck!
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