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Dear Laura & Larry,
I would like some advice about how to get started in swinging. I also would love advice on places for a single guy to find the right lady to be his life partner and also his swinging partner. --Sick of Vanilla
Laura's Response:
Dear Sick of Vanilla,
To get started in swinging, I recommend some research before you jump in. Check out Nina Hartley?s Guide to Swinging
for great tips, including how to talk to your partner(s). Next, look for local swinger groups or clubs that might have events near you, but be forewarned: Not all of them accept single men (couples or single women only), so you may need to find someone to invite you as a guest. As for finding that special lady, you might begin by looking for someone who already shares the lifestyle, rather than trying to introduce a novice to it. Once you?re in a swinging community, ask around and see if anyone is available or willing to set you up on a date. You can also look into local polyamorous communities. More than just swingers, these people have multiple loving and sexual relationships. Good luck!
Larry's Response:
Dear Vanilla,
Ah, every man?s fantasy: to find a woman who?s secure enough in her sexuality to share him (and her!) with others! Swinging and group sex in general can be a lot of fun, but it?s unusual (but not unheard of) to find a single male entering the lifestyle solo. Your best bet is to place a number of anonymous on-line ads at swingers websites advertising for a female partner ? then start being very, very choosy. Online hook-ups are by definition fraught with the potential for more drama than you?re looking for, so be very cautious in how you approach someone.
As far as finding the right lady, consider going on a single?s cruise or visiting one of the popular swinger?s resorts in the Caribbean. Attending non-sex swingers? events (yes, there are such things) and mingling with folks already in ?the lifestyle? before you start taking your clothes off is also advised ? because every couple, swingers or not, knows plenty of single girls looking for love, and most can?t resist playing matchmaker. Be friendly, be open, be honest, and gain their trust, and building a relationship with a few swinging couples will help put you on your way towards orgy nirvana. Good luck! You?re gonna need it. The bad news is only a small percentage of women, over-all will even consider swinging. The good news is that among that small percentage are a number of highly enthusiastic participants, some of whom are in the same boat you are. So may the Force be with you . . . |
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Dear Laura & Larry,
I?m a busy single mom with virtually no privacy. I love my vibrator, but I need a way to keep the kids from finding it and figuring out what it is. I need something that doesn?t look so obvious, or else a way to keep prying eyes and hands away from it! What do you suggest? --Hot Mama
Laura's Response:
Dear Hot Mama,
You?ve got several options for keeping your toys away from prying eyes! You can get a Toibocks Toy Storage, which is discreet, lockable, and has plenty of room for all your toys. I?ve had several moms tell me that they buy waterproof toys because their bathroom is the only room they can keep the kids out of! In that case, check out our hundreds of waterproof toys. Highly recommended: Lucid Dreams #9, which is not only waterproof but quiet (no need to tip off the kiddos about what you?re up to! You might go for some toys that don?t look so obviously naughty, like the Jimmy Jane Form 2 or the Synergy System. These two are also rechargeable, saving you loads of money on batteries. Have fun!
Larry's Response:
Dear Mama,
Every parent dreads the day when Junior discovers the secret porn/sex toy stash and starts asking awkward questions. To avoid that day ? or at least postpone it as long as possible ? there are a number of dodges that you can use to keep your battery-operated boyfriend secure. On the high end, there are a number of professional products available to disguise your toys ? even a brief search on the Adam & Eve website will reveal several means of keeping them under wraps. You might want to consider ?stealth toys?, such as the vibrating rubber ducky, or the vibrating nail polish bottle, to elude detection. I?d also advise you to keep you eyes open at yard sales and second-hand shops for an old bedside nightstand with a drawer that you might be able to easily conceal from curious eyes ? my wife and I turn ours towards the wall, so the kids don?t even realize that the table has a drawer. Some antique pieces actually have hidden compartments . . . now that?s classy!
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