If you are looking for a more immediate security, however, consider stashing your stuff in an old purse in your closet, among your other old purses." Most boys won't interested in your purse collection at all, and will avoid the implied cooties like the plague." And most daughters, while potentially intrigued, won't violate the sanctity of Mommy's wardrobe until their teenage years." Other great hiding spots have proven to be inside an empty box of tampons, old tennis ball cans, or under a shoebox full of old receipts." Or, as one of my ex-girlfriends did to hide her naughtiness from her mother, inside a cheap plastic toolbox with a combination lock."

But concealment, alone, might not be enough to avoid the inevitable "Mommy, what's this?!?" question, so be prepared to trot out one of these patented responses at a moment's notice:

"That's Mommy's neck massager, hon." It helps relieve tension and puts me to sleep." Did you know that stress is a leading contributor to heart disease, hypertension and stroke?" You don't want Mommy to stroke out, do you?"

"That's a medical device to treat a minor condition Mommy has." It's very expensive, so please don't mess with it." Are you ready for some ice cream?"

"I don't know, sweetie, Grandma left it here last time she visited."

Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

My boyfriend recently asked me to tie him up and spank him. I did this once before with another lover and ended up accidentally hurting him, which made me feel terrible. I want to please my boyfriend, and the idea excites me a little bit. How do I go about this safely? --Unbound

Laura's Response:

Dear Unbound,
A bad experience can understandably make you shy about trying something again! Spanking can be a great turn-on and addition to your sex life, if it's done correctly. To begin with, establish a safe word--a code you and your partner use that means "stop!" People often choose a word unrelated to whatever fantasy they are playing, like "cantaloupe" or "saxophone." You could also say "green light, yellow light, red light" to give a more accurate scale of the experience. Some terrific beginner toys to try include the Tantric Satin Pleasure Whip, which is satin, not leather, so it won't sting. There's also the Fur Lined Paddle to amp up your experience--choose between fur or leather for a little discipline. Be sure to communicate carefully while you experiment. You and your partner will need to learn the optimal boundaries and how much is too much.

Larry's Response:

Dear Unbound,
You . . . accidentally hurt a dude spanking him? Then you were doing it wrong. Spanking is considered a robust form of foreplay for many lovers, and there's nothing deviant about the practice, as long as it is done safely and with proper understanding. For some spanking aficionados the goal is to hyper-stimulate the buttocks with a few sharp, slightly stingy slaps at a particular moment while having sex. For others, there is an element of humiliation and role-playing that surrounds the ritual that means more than the actual spanking itself. For still others, it's ALL about the pain. The most important thing to do is establish just exactly which type of thrashing your dude desires, and see if you can accommodate him.

Regardless, the goal of spanking is not to produce injury. In general a spanking should be delivered lightly, stinging the surface flesh smartly without damaging the tissue underneath. If you're hitting hard enough to cause bruises, for instance, that's likely too strong. Consider using, for instance, a cheap plastic (not wooden) ruler, or a light hairbrush if you want to experiment - but there are tons of whips and paddles and riding crops and . . . well, you get the picture. The key is to keep communication open and explicit, because there's nothing more embarrassing to bring up in couple's counseling than a misunderstanding over a bondage and discipline scenario . . . most therapists just aren't equipped to deal with that.

Good luck, and happy spanking!