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Dear Laura & Larry,
I really enjoy watching my girlfriend masturbate with a dildo. Is this normal? She doesn't mind and even encourages it. --Watcher
Laura?s Response:
Dear Watcher,
If you like it, it?s totally normal! Especially if she encourages it! In fact, you might learn a few things. Pay attention to how she controls the action, when she speeds up, how deep she goes, and so on. The next time you are in the mix, you can mimic what you saw with your own body. Or join in with the dildo--get her to teach you what she likes and use it on her. Better yet, get a dildo with a suction cup (like the Purple Pearl), stick it on the wall or headboard, have her back up to it, and go down on you while she gets her rocks off!
Larry?s Response:
Dear Watcher,
Perfectly normal. A certain amount of casual exhibitionism is implicit in our sexual lives. Whether it?s watching a porn flick, checking out co-workers, friends, and passing strangers, or watching True Blood and pausing to reflect on the naughty parts, everyone gets off to watching, to some extent. The flip side is that many get off on being watched, under the right circumstances (and with their knowledge and consent ? so back away from your neighbor?s window slowly before someone calls the cops). Watching your girlfriend pleasure herself is so normal it?s almost mundane. Watching your girlfriend pleasure herself in the produce section of a crowded grocery store ? that?s quite a bit higher on the kink-o-meter. Enjoy! |
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Dear Laura & Larry,
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. Last spring, she let me be her first. I've had other partners and they've all adjusted to my size. I'm not huge, but I do fill up a magnum condom. One of the big problems with us is that we're long distance. Normally, we only get a weekend together every 5 weeks or so. In that time, she's always sore and it never gets better. When she's alone, she prefers her fingers on her clit. I've suggested a toy to stretch her out some, but she's not interested in that. Anything you can suggest?
--Bigger Isn't Always Better
Laura?s Response:
Dear Bigger,
Ah, the big tool and the small toolbox. It happens! There are some techniques you can use to get her really ready for you. First, is to have lots of foreplay, and I mean lots and lots. She needs to be really excited. When she is, the vagina lengthens and stretches, making it easier to accommodate you. In fact, consider bringing her to orgasm before you penetrate her. She?ll be really ready for you then! Use plenty of lube--always have some lube handy. A great water-based lube like ID Glide is perfect. Too little lube (or dried-out natural lubricant) can cause chafing, which really does hurt. When enjoying your foreplay, insert one finger, then two, and then three as she gets turned on. She needs to be gradually loosened up! Insert your penis slowly--let her control the action by being on top. To deal with any soreness afterward (which might be inevitable, no matter how hot she is), she should have warm soaks in the tub with epsom salts, and take ibuprofen or acetaminophen for pain relief.
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