Combine your love for DIY and sex with the ultimate home improvement project – a sex room! Sex rooms are a dedicated space designed for intimacy. They feature special items like sex swings as well as sexy features like mirrored ceilings not found in your typical bedroom. Many are designed for bondage, complete with whips, chains, and furniture. Others have more of a fantasy feel with soft lighting, comfortable pillows, and flirty accessories to appeal to your sensual side. These fantasy rooms are more like an intimate day spa than a bondage dungeon.
Inspired by the popular Netflix series, couples all over the world want to know more about sex rooms. If you’re thinking about building your own bondage or fantasy room, then you’ll definitely need to check out these helpful how to tips and suggestions.
Where to Put Your Sex Room
Before you can start building, you need to pick a good spot for your sex room. Attics and basements are prime locations, since they really enhance the overall atmosphere and experience. Nothing says bondage room like bare concrete floors, cinderblocks, and a few chains hanging from the wall! Since many attics and basements are unfinished, this gives you a blank canvas for bringing your kinkiest fantasies to life. But those same unfinished spaces often have few (or no) electrical lights or outlets. They might also be unheated & uncooled, which might make uncomfortable in the middle of summer or winter.
If you’d prefer something more move-in ready for your sex room, you could use a spare bedroom instead. It’s already finished, so you’d just need to throw on a new coat of paint and move everything in. They also have ample lighting and easy access to electricity to keep all your sex machines and toys going strong. Spare rooms are more accessible and can be used year-round. On the other hand, someone else is more likely to find your fantasy room than if it’s located in an out-of-the-way location.
If you’ve got multiple possible locations for your sex room, there are few key factors you need to consider – starting with space. You need something large enough to handle all your bondage gear and other sexy accessories, while remaining small enough for an intimate feel. You can estimate the square footage needed for your BDSM room based on the largest piece of furniture you’ll need – typically a bed. Then add extra square footage based on other pieces you’d like to include, such as sex swings or bondage furniture. Make sure to include extra space, so you can walk around the room after it’s fully kitted out.
A basic sex room with just a swing could be as small as 25 square feet, about the size of a large walk-in closet. A mid-size one with a smaller bed and maybe a swing could be 80-100 square feet. A large BDSM room with a king-sized bed, sex swing, and multiple pieces of bondage furniture could easily be 150 square feet or more. A crowded sex room looks messy instead of sexy, so keep that in mind.
Discreetness is another crucial factor. Turning your child’s old bedroom into a fantasy or bondage room after they move out might sound like a good idea. But it could quickly become a problem if they need to move back in unexpectedly. If you share thin walls with your neighbors, you shouldn’t place your sex room where they could hear everything. You should also be careful with windows, so you don’t provide passersby with a free show.
Decorating Your Sexy Space
Your BDSM room should be more than just a sex swing hanging up in an otherwise empty room. It should be an expression of your relationship as well as your sexual fantasies. It should help put you in the mood, while making your playtime easier and more enjoyable at the same time. That might sound like a steep order, but it’s easily achievable if you follow these helpful sex room decorating tips.
Start by picking out a vibrant paint color. Many couples like to use red, based on the infamous red room from Fifty Shades of Grey. Too much red can be overpowering though, so make sure to balance it out with a complimentary color or pick something completely different. Just stay away from too much white. White symbolizes purity and chastity, so it’s the last color you want in a sex room! Wallpaper makes a great choice for an accent wall, particularly if you can find an exotic or sensual pattern.
Lighting is another important decoration consideration. Dimmable lighting is ideal for sex rooms, so you can adjust it as needed. Intense bright light can help intimidate and dominate your sub one moment. Then you could dial it down for a more romantic and sensual vibe the next. Use color changing smart bulbs for even more options. If you or your lover enjoys candles, then make sure you’ve got a safe place to put them. You don’t want to knock one over accidentally! Or you could play it safe and use battery-powered candles instead.
Music and sex naturally go together, so you’ll want to equip your sex room accordingly. It could be something as simple as a Bluetooth speaker linked to your smartphone. Or if you might want a full-blown sound system if you’re a real audiophile.
Don’t be afraid to accessorize! Add some extra-large and extra-soft pillows. They give your sex room a comfy vibe and can double as position aids. A large mirror on the wall or ceiling is a great way to see all the hot action from multiple angles. Some naughty artwork makes a great accent piece. You could go with a classic nude or even some sexy photos of yourself and your lover.
Like any other room, storage is important. You’ll need somewhere to keep all your sex toys and accessories. You could add a chest or dresser with a bunch of drawers for storing all your different toys. But this is a sex room, so there’s no need to hide them! Hang up a few shelfs to display your favorite vibrators and dildos. Many glass sex toys have a beautiful, elegant look that deserves to be shown off. Put up a row of hooks for all your whips, chains, paddles, handcuffs, and other bondage gear. This also makes everything more accessible in the heat of the moment.
Choosing Sex Furniture & Toys
The next step in building your own sex room is filling it up with some awesome sex toys and bondage furniture! Since Adam & Eve provided many of the items featured in the Netflix series, we’ve got a ton of sexy options for you.
Beds
Beds are a key element in most sex rooms, so you want to make yours shines. Most couples use a smaller bed for increased intimacy. You’ll want one with a sturdy frame, since you’re going to work it pretty hard. Bedposts provide great tiedown points for bondage restraints, so keep that in mind when shopping. Look for a mattress that offers plenty of support and just feels good. Make sure your sheets are soft, sensual, and easy to clean.
Sex Swings
Every sex room needs a sex swing! Swings are one of the most common items in fantasy and bondage rooms. Sex swings allow you to comfortably experiment with all kinds of unique and unusual positions. They also provide a great deal of support for your more basic positions like cowgirl and doggy – making them great for couples with mobility issues.
If you want a swing for your BDSM room, then check out the Fetish Fantasy Bondage Swing. It comes with built-in restraints for extra kinky thrills! Its heavy-duty design is made for the most demanding and extreme play. It’s the same swing used by Lisa in the Netflix series.
Wedges & Ramps
Elevate your sexual skills by adding a wedge or ramp to your BDSM room. These pieces of bondage furniture provide the support you need for a wide range of sex positions. You can use them to enhance old favorites by making penetration deeper and changing angles for better stimulation. And they’re great for trying all kinds of new positions.
While there are several great sex wedges and ramps to choose from, Liberator stands out from the pack. This company is well-known in the BDSM community for their high-quality position aids and bondage furniture. Liberator products are made from the same type of heavy-duty foam used in mainstream furniture. They have removable machine-washable covers for easy cleaning. And they come with illustrated position guides to jumpstart your kinky adventure.
If space in your sex room is an issue, look for an inflatable position aid that you can blow up quickly for easy use and deflate afterwards for easy storage. The Adam & Eve Inflatable Position Pillow is a lot more affordable than a Liberator, so you can buy even more sex toys!
Ticklers, Paddles & Whips
Get your spank on with bondage toys made for impact play. Ticklers are great for teasing your partner during foreplay, especially when paired with a blindfold. They’re great for fantasy rooms. Paddles and whips are quintessential BDSM toys made for discipline and punishment. Paddles feature a large, flat surface area that you can use to deliver a gentle tap or a hard smack. They’re extremely versatile, making them ideal for bondage beginners and experts alike. Whips have a dozen or more strands for multiple points of impacts. They deliver a pleasant sting that can also vary in intensity.
Adam & Eve’s Scarlet Couture Spank Me Paddle is great for laying down the law. This faux-leather paddle features a quilted texture on one side while the other is completely smooth for two different sensations. The handle comes wrapped with 90 inches of bondage rope for restraining your lover. It’s like getting multiple toys in one!
Handcuffs, Restraints & Ties
You can’t have a bondage room without handcuffs, restraints, and ties! These bondage toys are all used to restrict your lover and limit their movement. Handcuffs fit around your lover’s wrists. You can use them to bind their arms together or cuff one arm to an object like a bedpost. Restraints feature cuffs with ropes attached. Simply wrap the cuffs around your lover’s wrist or ankle before tying them to something. And ties are simply rope that can be used to restrain your lover multiple ways. If you’re feeling adventurous, you could even wrap them up from head to toe for Japanese shibari.
When it comes to kinky bondage play, you’re sure to love the Playful Furry Cuffs. These versatile handcuffs are made from solid metal to keep your sub locked up tight! They come with a soft and comfortable faux fur covers, making them beginner friendly. When you want to get really naughty, just slip the covers off to reveal the all-metal handcuffs underneath!
Sex Machines
If you’re serious about pleasure, then your fantasy or bondage room definitely needs a sex machine. These machines are specially designed and built using the strongest motors around for explosive stimulation. If you want a sex machine for a woman, then look for a vibrating saddle. These Sybian-style machines are made for riding. If you want something that men & women can both use, then look for a thrusting sex machine. Thrusters typically come with multiple attachments, including dildos for penetration and even strokers.
The Cowgirl Premium Sex Machine is one of our favorites. It comes with a super-charged vibrating motor powerful enough to shake your entire bed! The Cowgirl has 2 stimulating attachments, one made for grinding and the other for your G-Spot. You can even control it from your smartphone, making it great for long-distance relationships.
Of course, all these great sex toys and bondage furniture pieces come at a price. You could easily spend anywhere from $100-$100,000 building your sex room. Why such a big spread? Unlike other household DIY projects, BDSM rooms are extremely flexible. You can easily adjust your wish list to fit any budget, no matter how small or big. You can always space out your purchases, since there’s no need for you to buy everything all at once. If you’re handy, you could even build your very own bondage furniture and save some extra money that way. Or you could hire one of the designers from the Netflix series and build something worth featuring in the next season.
Bondage Safety & Communication
Communication is crucial for the safety of your partner and yourself. Before building your sex room, make sure to discuss how you plan to use it as well as what you’d like to do. This allows you and your partner to better plan out the room and incorporate any special requirements you might have.
While setting up your fantasy or bondage room, pay careful attention to the installation instructions – whether you’re putting up shelves for your sex toys, assembling a sex machine, or hanging a mirror on the ceiling. Many pieces of bondage equipment come ready to use, but there are some more complicated items (especially sex furniture) that require assembly. No one wants their bondage cross or spanking horse falling apart mid-sex! If you want to include a swing in your BDSM room, be sure to check out our How to Hang a Sex Swing guide.
Once you’ve finished planning and building your sex room, an open line of communication becomes even more important when you start using it. You should always start by discussing what you plan to do, especially if want to experiment with something new. Being up front and honest with your partner allows you both to explore each other’s sexual fantasies safely and securely.
Adam & Eve’s very own sexpert Dr. Jenni Skyler, a licensed and accredited sexologist, recommends keeping three words in mind “safe, safe, consensual." This emphasizes the need for both partners to feel safe and comfortable while protecting each other at the same time. Dr. Jenni explains there is a certain amount of risk that comes with BDSM play, especially if you like to play hard. Clear communication prevents short-term issues and conflicts from causing long-term harm.
After laying down the ground rules for your next kinky BDSM tryst, you and your partner need to agree on a safe word or phrase that can be used when you want to stop. Many couples choose a food, animal, place, sport, or animal (real or fantasy). Dr. Jenni suggests taking things a step further and actually picking three safety words based on the colors of a stoplight. Yellow means you to need to slow down and check with your partner before proceeding any further. Red is for slamming on the brakes and stopping immediately. Green means it’s okay to resume play.
“The stoplight system is a much more versatile approach that’s better suited for handling the myriad of emotions and feelings you can experience during kinky sex," Dr. Jenni explained. “Be prepared for a lot of yellow situations whenever you try something new as you and your lover figure out what does and doesn’t work."
If you want to try using a ball gag or other device that limits someone’s ability to speak, you’ll need to develop an alternate signal like tapping your partner’s arm or face to indicate when you want to stop.
Most important of all, be sure to have fun in your bondage room. BDSM is a shared experience, so ensuring you and your partner are both enjoying it is key to a happy, healthy, and kinky relationship.
