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Dear Laura & Larry,
I have been married to my wife for 3 years now and we dated for almost 2 before that. Our sex life is hot! We enjoy watching different types of porn, and I like MFM. Sometimes she enjoys it too, I can tell. I would love to do a three-way with her and another man. Sometimes she jokes about it, but she said once if I wanted her to have sex with another guy I was sick. I think it would be so hot to see her have so much pleasure and only wish she would try it just one time. I did this once in the past and it was hot. Should I keep trying and if so, what would be a good way to tell her she and I would enjoy it? Or do I just drop it? ?Captain
Laura?s Response:
Dear Captain,
First, recognize this: just because she gets turned on by the images or thoughts does not mean she feels comfortable trying it in real life. Fantasies are totally safe and totally hot in one?s head, and sometimes that?s all a person wants to experience. If you want to see if she?s willing to try it in real life, you?ll have to build up to it slowly, and respect her decision if she says ?no? and just drop it. If you want to gently suggest the idea, begin by watching more of these movies together (like 3-Way Divas ). Then, role-play a three-way using toys like a simple dildo or a double dildo to simulate double penetration. Away from the bedroom, talk about how much you enjoy the scenario and role playing, and whether you think it would be fun to try it in real life. Listen to how she responds, and respect her if she says no. If she agrees to try it, lay some boundaries out beforehand--whom you choose to join you, the boundaries she wants to lay down (for instance, perhaps no intercourse with the other guy, just oral), and any other agreements. |
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Larry?s Response:
Dear Captain,
This is one of those instances when a healthy appreciation of the fine line between fantasy and reality comes in handy. Fantasy: a hot threesome with a buff dude to drive your lady to new heights of ecstasy and pleasure, supercharging your erotic life for years to come. Reality: disappointment, miscommunications, arguments, resentment, and marital counseling. Don?t get me wrong! I?m all for experimentation ? after all, a walk on the wild side serves to educate ourselves about our sexuality and establish our mental and physical boundaries. If your relationship is strong enough to handle it, a threesome can be great. But the situation you describe goes beyond simple ambiguity. The fact that she?s willing to joke about it tells you that she is thinking about it and fantasizing, but she also clearly sees the possibility as a threat to the stability of the relationship. Unless these two sides can be rectified, your best bet is to keep the threesome idea a fantasy for a few more years while she (and you) hashes out her feelings on the matter. Don?t ?drop it?, but table it, discuss it, give full reign to your fantasy before you actually indulge. You?re young, and have only been together for half a decade ? enjoy the freshness of the relationship, and save the extraordinary measures for a time when you both are feeling more secure ? and more in need of excitement ? than you are now. But if she does agree, regardless of the outcome, it is traditional to buy the lady flowers afterwards as a token of your deep appreciation, love, and respect. Trust me on this. Good Luck!
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