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You Can Ask Dr. Kat by emailing her at ask@drkat.com.
Dr. Kat,
“How do you approach your wife, lover, sexual partner to discuss your fantasy about female ejaculation and how you want them to experience it?”
Thanks,
Phillip
Hi Phillip,
Female ejaculation or squirting as some call it is one of the main questions I get asked through my practice and the media. How do you do it? How do you control the amount of fluid ejaculated? Lots of men and women fantasize about squirting. Here’s the general 411…Female ejaculation can occur through the stimulation of the G-Spot. All women have G-Spots but not all women ejaculate. The G-Spot is a bundle of nerve tissue about two inches into the vagina on the upper wall. You can find it by inserting your fingers and making a hook shape. The fluid also comes from the gland.
Now there has been some conjecture about what the fluid is actually made of. What we do know, is that it is not urine or merely your same old vaginal discharge. Nope. It has been shown to contain elevated levels of two proteins, prostate-specific antigen (PSA) and prostate-specific acid phosphatase (PSAP). PSA and PSAP are found in male ejaculate and come from the prostate. Most male/female anatomy share equivalents of one another (think, clitoris/glans, testicles/ovaries) and this may indicate that women have something akin to a prostate. It’s been suggested that the paraurethral glands, which run parallel to the urethra, are the "female prostate." Orgasm may cause these glands to empty out
Now that we’ve established what the heck the G-Spot is and what the fluid may be let’s talk about stimulation shall we? Vigorous stimulation of the spot with a firm object tends to be what leads to a G-Spot orgasm. Fingers or penises are fine but many women find more success by using a sex toy specially designed for the job. Check these out:
G-Gasm Delight
Silky Stud
Lucid Dream #14
Some women may also experience an urgency to urinate once they begin to stimulate the G-Spot. This is a common sensation. I suggest to most women to just relax through the sensation as continued stimulation should eventually lead to a G-Spot orgasm and not their urinating without control.
A good way to bring your fantasy up is by incorporating some dirty talk into your sex play. For instance, tell her you’d like her to come all over you or you want to watch her squirt/orgasm. There are also plenty of squirting videos out there. If she’s open to it you might want to talk about how it turns you and watch one of these while having sex. Finally, purchase a G-Spot toy for her like one of the above. Tell her, you’ve heard of a new way to give her pleasure and you’d like her to relax and let you do all the work.
As stated, almost all women have the capacity for a G-Spot orgasm; some may or may not ejaculate. If your partner does ejaculate it may be from less than a teaspoon of liquid to more than a cup. When asked, most women say these orgasms have a different feel to them versus clitoral or vaginal orgasms -- they can actually be more intense. I do not know of any way to increase or decrease the amount of fluid expelled. It is what it is, Phillip. So, if your partner doesn’t ejaculate please don’t be disappointed. Whether she ejaculates or not, it leads to a really fabulous orgasm and that’s all that matters.
Sincerely,
Dr. Kat
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Listen to Dr. Kat's FREE iTunes Podcast "Sex Chat with Dr. Kat and Her Gay Boyfriend" here: http://www.drkat.com/Listen.html It’s currently in the TOP 20 of Sexuality podcasts on iTunes!
Hi I'm Dr. Kat, Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Therapist. Join my gay "boyfriend", Ross and I on the couch as we dish about celebrity sex and relationships, sex in the news, what sex toys we like, the nitty gritty of our own relationships and all the while answering your questions about sex, dating, marriage, STDs, sex ed, and the trials and tribulations of life and love in general. It's a 2 for 1 as you get your sex questions answered from both of our perspectives and we have a lot of fun while we're at it. Find out more at www.DrKat.com and e-mail us your questions at sexchat@drkat.com or call our 24/7 Listener Line at 213-270-1968. |
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