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You Can Ask Dr. Kat by emailing her at ask@drkat.com. Dr. Kat, “I’m over 30 years old but still, no matter what I do, I always seem to come too quickly. Why do I have this problem and how can I get over it?” Thanks, Hi Jason, Believe it or not, premature ejaculation is not just a younger man’s issue. I see older guys in my office who come more quickly than they would like all of the time. Most men (and yes, women think it too about their partners), that men should just be able to last and last at will. I think that it’s more likely a case of unrealistic expectations than premature ejaculation for some of these individuals. There will be times in a man’s life when he will come more quickly than he would like and other times when he won’t ejaculate quickly enough for his or his partner’s taste. The point is not to freak out about it. The more we get into our heads, the more likely an unwanted behavior will continue. Ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? If you feel like you have a pattern of coming more quickly than you like though and would like to come up with some ways to address the issue, here are some questions to ask yourself. Have you always had this issue or is it a recent development? Does it seem to be partner or behavior specific? How quickly do you come with masturbation? When you are with a partner, do you come before you even enter her or is it upon insertion? What about oral? What other play do you engage in prior to insertion? Learning your own patterns will help you get to know you sexual response cycle. What turns you on in your head and what sensations seem to take you over the edge too quickly should help you shed some light on the issue. Learn your “point of no return”, that milestone of ejaculation inevitability. Once you figure this out, some men have found success with the stop/start technique (pulling out during intercourse, before the point of no return and squeezing the head of the penis, then reinserting once the urge has passed). Others have tried desensitization creams or wearing a condom to dull the sensation of penetration. Many men have tried to take themselves out of their bodies when they are about to ejaculate by thinking about everything from their dear old grannies to dead kitties to baseball but ironically, focusing more on what you are doing and walking yourself through the steps in your head may help you connect yourself more to your body and give yourself more of a sense of control. Sincerely,
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Spend some time playing free sex games – like "Sexy Picture Find" & Connect the Dots. Download some wallpapers & learn about our sexy contract girls. |
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Candidly Speaking This being my first column for AdamEve.com, in the words of the fabulous Mick Jagger & the Rolling Stones, please allow me to introduce myself. For those of you not familiar with my work, I’m best known for creating adult erotica from a woman’s point of view for couples to share. Back in the mid-eighties, when I started Femme Productions®, there was no such thing as ‘couples erotica’, and the general attitude was that women weren’t interested in visual stimulation. Thanks to the ‘woman’s lib’ movement, in which I was active in my college days, women embraced their right to a fulfilling sex life and by the mid-‘80’s they were looking for movies that turned them on. At the same time many men were eager to find adult films that they could watch with their wives or girlfriends. Enter the age of home video, and now there was a safe place where women could sneak a peek and couples could act out just how much they liked what they saw. I recognized a new market blossoming and figured that with my art background, theatre experience and | |
having starred in a hand full of adult movies, it would be fun to see what I could do. In 1984 I founded Femme Productions® and produced and directed my first three movies. Eighteen movies later, women’s erotica is all the rage and more and more women are occupying the director’s chair. In 1996 I co-created the Natural Contours® line of attractive, discreet vibrators and other intimate products for women that set the trend for higher quality sex toys that women could purchase through mainstream venues and web sites that felt safe and private. Natural Contours® and Femme Productions® are both available through adameve.com. These types of products can add excitement to an intimate relationship, but it’s not always easy to suggest them. Next month I’ll talk about how to introduce something new in to the bedroom, like a new position or a sex toy, or the idea of watching an adult movie together. See you next month! Candida Royalle is a former star of the blue movie screen who in 1984 created Femme Productions® and pioneered the genre of woman-friendly adult erotica. In 1999, she launched the Euro-designed Natural Contours® line of high-style discreet intimate products. She’s the author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do, (Simon & Schuster) and a sought after lecturer at universities and professional conferences, including the World Congress on Sexology, the American Psychiatric Association and the Smithsonian Institute. Royalle’s product lines are available through AdamEve.com. For more information about Candida Royalle, visit www.candidaroyalle.com |
Nothing says Halloween like sexy costumes! It doesn’t matter whether you decide to go as a sexy doctor, a sexy cheerleader, a sexy librarian or a sexy sanitation worker as long as you bare the right amount of skin! It’s pretty easy to hold your own sexy costume party. You just need a group of semi-attractive friends who aren’t afraid to get a little wild. Get your invitations out early so everyone has plenty of time to find a good costume. We’re all for sexy schoolgirls (18+), but a roomful of them is a little too much. Be sure to schedule the party for later in the night when the candy rush is over; there’s no reason to traumatize some poor trick-or-treaters with your revealing SpongeBob NoPants costume. With the invitations out, you just need to stock up on food, getting plenty of finger foods. Instead of wasting time coming up with Halloween-themed snacks, you’re really better off decorating your place with some cobwebs (this is the one time when not dusting or cleaning all year long really pays off), tombstones, rats, skeletons, ghosts and anything else hidden away in your arsenal of frights. Once you’ve finished turning your home into a Chamber of Horrors, you can then run out and pick up the key ingredient for a great sexy costume party – alcohol. Be sure you have plenty of drink selections and ingredients on hand. The last thing you want is to come up short when two identical twins dressed as sexy witches ask you to do body shots. And you’ll know your party was a success when no one makes it into work the next day. |
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