A&E's Resident Sex Expert: Dr. Kat (continued)

Your questions answered Dr. Kat Van Kirk, an AASECT certified Sex Therapist and licensed Marriage Therapist. This month's question is…

Q&A: No Shave = No Action.

Dear Dr. Kat,

I'm preparing to skip shaving in November as apart of a work challenge to support Male Cancer Awareness month in November (prostate and testicular). The guys at work said this also includes pubic hair since most of us manscape.

The problem is that my girlfriend won't even touch me unless I'm perfectly groomed upstairs and downstairs. She says that body hair freaks her out. Over the past year or so I've obliged but when I told her my plans she acted totally disgusted. Is there a way I can make her happy and do the challenge? I don't want to spend the whole month not only not getting laid but not even getting kissed. I had a beard for a long time and I think she's afraid I'll want to go back to it permanently; which I kind of do. What's a guy supposed to do?

Sincerely,
Bronson

Dear Bronson,

Good deeds don't go unpunished at times, eh?

We all have preferences for how we'd like our partners to present to us. Long hair versus short hair, certain fashion and hygiene. A month of not shaving doesn't seem unreasonable in the long run. I say you call her bluff. Go ahead and let things fill in a bit body hair wise. Maybe you can suggest both going au natural for the month. It can be a fun way to mix things up and feel like you are sharing an experience.

Her response to this issue will give you important information. Either she'll realize it's not so bad and be proud of you for making a statement or she'll withdraw her affection. Not good news for you but it will give you an idea of her values and if she isn't willing to support your desires, then maybe that is something you need to know before you get further into the relationship. Perhaps you share other values but this seems like a bit of a red flag if she's not at least willing to be open to being attracted to your furrier self. You should be allowed to express yourself however you'd like whether it is Movember or not.

Sincerely,

Keep in touch with Dr. Kat:

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Guilty Pleasures: Erotic Fiction (continued)

Have you ever been entertaining friends and, in the midst of a nice but predictable Saturday evening, begun to daydream about the titillating fantasy that your guests would suddenly strip off their clothes and descend into a wild, naked orgy right there on the living room carpet?

Well, my husband and I -- plus a select group of our friends -- make that fantasy our reality. Such Saturday evenings (sometimes the whole weekend!) are a regular occurrence at our houses.

You'll need: a willing partner, a spacious private residence, and a group of sensuous, adventurous friends. As for the rest of the logistics of how to put such a fantasy scenario together… well, my recent experiences may provide you with some practical guidelines.

My husband Stan and I are part of a large, loose-knit group of swingers who range in age from their 20s to 50s, with the average age being somewhere in the late 30s. One tipsy night, I was surfing the internet and posted an ad on a local swinger's message board. Just for fun, you understand. But when we got messages back, things changed. And we decided to take the plunge.

Some of us are more active in the lifestyle than others, and each couple has their own particular swinging style. Many couples, for example, prefer to select a single other couple and swap spouses. Other couples separate and hook up with others for threesomes, or invite a single third into bed with them!

Some couples are totally open, and have an arrangement where the more's the merrier, no strings attached. Some folks are fine pairing up with both men and women, and still others like to fool around mainly with each other while watching, like an audience at a Roman orgy.



But don't misunderstand. The truly kinky would probably find our activities relatively tame. There's no leather or hardware at our events. What we share is simply the love and excitement of the discovery involved in opening up our sexual lives to experiences with others. We know our hobby is not for everyone. Most of us still need to fly under the radar for career, family, or social reasons. We're not ashamed of what we do (and I bet a lot of other couples would follow suit if they had the opportunity), but even in this modern age, consenting adults participating freely in behind-closed-doors activities can garner all sorts of judgment from the prejudiced.

Four couples formed the brainstorming committee for what we now consider our most epic weekend swinger's party. The group were enjoying a round of coffee and cake at the end of another delightful party for twenty couples at Claudine and Roy's beautiful New Jersey ranch home. We sat on the flagstone patio, reluctant to say our last goodbyes and take off in separate directions. We began to chat about getting together again. I asked the group why we couldn't plan another weekend, one that would encompass as many ideal elements as possible. The group became animated, everyone contributing suggestions as to what the ideal weekend should include.

One visit to a house rental website later, and we found our perfect setting. The old estate had exactly eight bedrooms, a cathedral living room with gigantic fireplace, and an enormous eat-in country kitchen/dining room. Alas, there were only two bathrooms and no dishwasher. But this was to be a weekend of communal living and loving - and we decided we could ‘rough it' for two days. To be included, each invited couple would transfer us their ‘entry fee' (their cut of the rental deposit, plus food, wine, and sundries) and then we'd send them the address.

Fie- Stan really needed it - and so did I!



Two couples arrived on the dot, right as we pulled up. They helped us unload the car, helped carry our bags and supplies inside, and we began turning the dark old house into a glamorous getaway. A light snow began to fall outside. Stan and Claudine, a very pretty redhead and the hostess of our last weekend, brought in bundles of firewood. Soon, the fireplace blazed and we'd set up a buffet fit for royalty in the kitchen, while we all snacked on as other couples arrived. After a light snack, I showed off my trunk of goodies - a few wigs, plus several new sets of lingerie and an arsenal of my favorite vibrators. Debra, a bubbly and curvy brunette, had a fur mitt for caressing, a couple of blindfolds, and scented massage oils. We were all in a heady mood, giggling and sharing confidences. The atmosphere felt close and familial… at first.

Then I noticed Ralph and Linda. He was 6'2 and rangy, with a neat beard and a twinkle in his warm brown eyes. He reminded me of a professor I'd crushed on at college. Linda was lean, like a distance runner, but her perky nipples poked through her sheer black dress, as if begging me to suck on them.

Judging by their answering looks, they liked me. But I had to make sure they liked Stan, too. We do everything together.

Bedrooms were assigned on a lottery basis - numbers drawn from a bowl. Stan and I drew the one bedroom that had its own small fireplace. The chill outside was going to make us popular, I joked. Linda sidled up behind Stan. They were both tall. Her full lips grazed his ear.

As I watched them, I felt a warm body behind me. Firm, male muscles pressed against me, and a rampant erection teased my backside. Ralph bent down. "Our room is in the attic. One of the windows is broken and it's freezing up there."



Linda laughed and murmured, "Since you two have the warmest room, I guess we'll have to spend some time with you."

"That sounds wonderful," I purred as I pushed back against Ralph's erection, feeling its length tease the curve of my buttocks.

"We should make sure the fire's lit. Ralph?" Stan waved Ralph over and they both headed for the bedroom.

Linda let Stand go and turned toward me. She pulled me into a hug. Her perfume smelled sweet and her skin was soft. "Your husband is a doll!" she exclaimed.

I knew we were in for a memorable weekend.

Linda and I headed up to the room arm in arm.

But we all stopped short at the bedroom's entrance - our room was already occupied! I moved in closer.

Roy was lying on his side, already inserted into a plump, lusty, full-throated blonde. She was taking him from behind while she buried her face in Claudine's red-furred pussy. The women were moaning simultaneously. With each thrust the sandwiched blonde thrust a pair of her fingers into Claudine's dripping box. I could feel myself getting wet just watching.



Although he didn't move to stop the trio as they moaned their way to a mutually shuddering orgasm, I could tell that Stan was a little annoyed. "Can't a man even unpack before someone jumps in his bed and wets his sheets?" he mumbled. I sucked on his ear and whispered that the sheets would be goners either way.

In the living room, several couples had dragged their mattresses in front of the fire and put them together to form one big bed. They piled the covers and pillows on top and crashed in a heap of warm bodies. A lithe young woman with long silky ash-blonde hair was already nude in front of the flames, the nipples of her pert breasts swollen with excitement. I followed Stan's eyes, which were fixed on the silky patch of flaxen pubic curls between her shapely legs. Stan now seemed in a much better mood, especially when curvy brunette Debra (she of the fur mitt and massage oils) knelt before him, unzipped his pants, and took his thickening shaft into her mouth. She teased him, rotating her tongue gently along the length of his quivering member. As I watched, he began to pump more urgently, holding her head in his hands, until finally he could hold back no more, and with guttural cries exploded. Debra swallowed every last drop, licking him and her lips as if he'd given her a delicious treat.

I was a little jealous - I've never been a fan of the taste. When I was thinking about all this, my husband dropped to the mattress with Debra in a sleepy, sexed-out tangle of limbs.

Debra, however, was only down for a minute before she rolled over and straight into Ani's arms. The petite and exotic woman lapped at Debra's puffy nipples and delved her fingers inside. As Debra began her ascent to orgasm, our resident superstud Tony, a muscled Italian who made lifting his other main hobby, picked Ani up with his big arms and, still standing, lowered her onto his huge cock. He held her in the air as still-needy Debra followed Ani, trading tongue kisses with her as Tony thrust away.



While I watched, I felt two sets of hands begin caressing my body. "We don't have a private room, but we don't mind," Ralph said. Linda's lips pressed kisses against the back of my neck.

Ani's moans of lust inspired all three of us, as well as the others in the crowd. Linda helped peel me out of my clothes. I returned the favor, only to find Ralph as naked and ready for both of us. We tumbled onto a mattress and I rode fingers, tongues, and Ralph's erection, my moans in concert with Linda's, Ani's, and all the rest of the crowd.

After Ralph and Linda's second orgasms of the night (and my third), we were all catching our breath when Stan, recovered after a short nap, reappeared with a try covered in ice cream and sundae toppings. "Anyone for a sundae?"

Ellen, Tony's wife, was the first to jump up and grab a can of whipped cream. But instead of reaching for the ice cream, she added dots atop her nipples and drew designs on her skin. Soon, the hungry among us added chocolate and sprinkles, and laughing we all joined in licking our ‘sundae' silly. Soon others were decorating themselves. I personally stole as many maraschino cherries as possible, sometimes from right between thighs.

We all took turns hopping into the two showers, but luckily our combined body heat made for a cozy nest as we all went to sleep.

In the morning, we woke up to a surprise - we were snowed in! "Now what are we going to do all weekend?" Stan asked.

"Oh, Stan," I replied. "I'm sure we'll think of something."

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