Hello! If you are reading this book, it's likely you want to up your game in the pleasure department and become the best lover you can be. Would you like to become a master of foreplay? Perhaps you’d enjoy a topographical tour of all the erogenous body parts? Want the low-down on the lube options out there? Need toy ideas and instructions on how to optimize your self-pleasure practice? Want to hack the mechanics of oral sex? Curious to uncover all the taboos of anal and become the best backdoor lover possible? Interested in tips to make the best of your environment, from steamy showers to salacious Zoom sex?
Welcome then! This short book has all the essentials you need to know. I offer tips and tools for everyone — no matter your age, gender, sexual orientation, relationship status, religion, or physical ability.
The journey begins 50 years ago, exploring how sex went from socially unacceptable to socially unstoppable. The 70s opened up society with the sexual revolution, then shut back down in the 80s. The 90s and 2000s experienced a swing back towards more freedom of sexual expression. For all 50 years, Adam & Eve has been there. Opening their doors in 1971, they have consistently offered sex positive products and education to the masses. They are still here, bigger and bolder than ever. Together with Adam & Eve, I offer easy and accessible sex tips, paired with sex toy suggestions at every turn. Unbuckle your seat belt, grab your lube, and get ready to learn all it takes to be a sex sensei.
A word about diversity...
Most sex manuals are geared toward heterosexual, cisgender, monogamous, able-bodied partnerships. This prototype is what the social-sexual script perpetuates. And by all means, many couples may very well fit perfectly into this configuration. However, not all partnerships do. To assume we all must fit these boxes and this narrative eliminates the diversity of our humanity and creates a non-inclusive environment. This manual aims to be inclusive of the diversity we all experience in our own bodies and/or in the bodies of others.
Let's do a quick diversity overview.
Couples that don't identify as a heterosexual partnership might identify as queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, demisexual, asexual, greysexual, pansexual, or a blend of these.
One or both partners that don't identify as cisgendered may identify as non-binary, gender-fluid, genderqueer, agender, bigender, and/or androgynous. Some people are born intersex whereby they have non-binary genitals and/or sex chromosomes and characteristics. Some people are transgendered and have a gender identity that is the opposite from the one they were assigned at birth.
Some couples prefer not to be monogamous or sexually exclusive, but rather prefer an open relationship construction. This can range from monogamish (coined by sex journalist Dan Savage) to swinging and even polyamory.
Lastly, not all of us are able-bodied or free from chronic illness and/or chronic pain. Some body differences include those with back pain, brittle bones, or users of wheelchairs. Some people have invisible differences like anxiety or mental health challenges. Some have cardiovascular disease, diabetes, or cancer. And sometimes our genitals just don't function the way we want them too – whether we struggle with erections, ejaculation, painful intercourse, or orgasm.
It's a social-sexual myth that every couple is blessed with a perfectly erect penis to insert into a lusciously lubricated vagina. Our bodies don't all work the same. Again, this is what makes the diversity of our humanity beautiful and essential. No matter our differences or challenges, we are all still sexual beings, deserving of pleasure! This is not the end of our sexuality. We can always get creative with our bodies, our fantasies, and our eroticism!
P.S. If you do struggle with erectile functioning, premature ejaculation, access to orgasm, painful intercourse, or other pelvic floor issues, there are plenty of certified sex therapists and pelvic floor physical therapists nationwide who are specifically trained to help you.
Ok, let's go learn some sex tips!
Enjoyed reading this? Download it and all the others, so you and your lover can read them together.
