Dear Laura and Larry,

I have been married to my wife for 3 years now and we dated for almost 2 before that. Our sex life is hot! We enjoy watching different types of porn, and I like MFM. Sometimes she enjoys it too, I can tell. I would love to do a three-way with her and another man. Sometimes she jokes about it, but she said once if I wanted her to have sex with another guy I was sick. I think it would be so hot to see her have so much pleasure and only wish she would try it just one time. I did this once in the past and it was hot. Should I keep trying and if so, what would be a good way to tell her she and I would enjoy it? Or do I just drop it? –Captain

Laura's Response:

Dear Captain,
First, recognize this: just because she gets turned on by the images or thoughts does not mean she feels comfortable trying it in real life. Fantasies are totally safe and totally hot in one’s head, and sometimes that’s all a person wants to experience. If you want to see if she’s willing to try it in real life, you’ll have to build up to it slowly, and respect her decision if she says “no” and just drop it. If you want to gently suggest the idea, begin by watching more of these movies together (like 3-Way Divas ). Then, role-play a three-way using toys like a simple dildo or a double dildo to simulate double penetration. Away from the bedroom, talk about how much you enjoy the scenario and role playing, and whether you think it would be fun to try it in real life. Listen to how she responds, and respect her if she says no. If she agrees to try it, lay some boundaries out beforehand--whom you choose to join you, the boundaries she wants to lay down (for instance, perhaps no intercourse with the other guy, just oral), and any other agreements.

Larry's Response:

Dear Captain,
This is one of those instances when a healthy appreciation of the fine line between fantasy and reality comes in handy. Fantasy: a hot threesome with a buff dude to drive your lady to new heights of ecstasy and pleasure, supercharging your erotic life for years to come. Reality: disappointment, miscommunications, arguments, resentment, and marital counseling. Don’t get me wrong! I’m all for experimentation – after all, a walk on the wild side serves to educate ourselves about our sexuality and establish our mental and physical boundaries. If your relationship is strong enough to handle it, a threesome can be great. But the situation you describe goes beyond simple ambiguity. The fact that she’s willing to joke about it tells you that she is thinking about it and fantasizing, but she also clearly sees the possibility as a threat to the stability of the relationship. Unless these two sides can be rectified, your best bet is to keep the threesome idea a fantasy for a few more years while she (and you) hashes out her feelings on the matter. Don’t ”drop it”, but table it, discuss it, give full reign to your fantasy before you actually indulge. You’re young, and have only been together for half a decade – enjoy the freshness of the relationship, and save the extraordinary measures for a time when you both are feeling more secure – and more in need of excitement – than you are now. But if she does agree, regardless of the outcome, it is traditional to buy the lady flowers afterwards as a token of your deep appreciation, love, and respect. Trust me on this. Good Luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

I would like to know what I need to do to enlarge my clit for better sensation to that area. --Pumper

Laura's Response:

Dear Pumper,
When you are turned on, blood starts to flow in your nether regions, and your clitoris will naturally engorge and get larger. Pumps are meant to speed up this process and temporarily enlarge your clitoris (which indeed makes it more sensitive), and they require a good seal to get the proper suction. You can try out our Pucker Up Pump or Vibrating Clit Climaxer. It may take you a few tries to find the right pump that suits you perfectly. Also consider something simpler, like a clitoral sensitizing lotion that brings blood to your love button very quickly. Try Nympho’s Desire - a customer favorite, or the Make Me Cum sensitizer.

Larry's Response:

Dear Pumper,
That’s a toughie! While there are numerous products on the market which can temporarily enlarge the clitoris and clitoral hood through the use of a simple vacuum pump, if you want a permanent solution to the problem you can consider the trendy vaginoplasty route. It’s expensive (and rarely covered by even the most generous insurance plan) but there are procedures that can altar the landscape “South of the border” into something that can give you more bang for your bucking. The degree to which the clitoris protrudes beyond the pubic bone varies widely in women, and even changes slightly over time. In general, the more this most-sensitive of spots is exposed to friction and contact, the more easily, frequently, and powerfully a woman can orgasm. But there are some poor unfortunate souls out there who have a pronouncedly hidden clit. For these ladies, such surgery can be a life-changing – not merely life-enhancing – experience. There are plenty of risks with the procedure, of course, including risk of infection, loss of sensitivity, and scarring, but a talented surgeon with a good track record might just fix your issue beyond your wildest dreams.
You might also consider a less-expensive but just-as-trendy solution, piercing your clit and wearing a clit ring. Regardless of your clitoral protrusion, this procedure usually leads to a greatly enhanced level of sensation in the area without having to fill out a bunch of medical forms. Plus, you get to adorn your precious flower of love with a dazzling array of jewelry – what woman normal can say no to jewelry?
On a related note, one of the newest things to hit the plastic surgery set is a G-Spot Enhancement. By injecting saline behind the G-spot, a surgeon can raise the degree to which the G-spot (like the clitoris) is subject to friction and stimulation. The procedure is also expensive, and only temporary, but for 3-4 months the magic button is hyper-sensitive. Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

After having a baby a year ago, I no longer feel as tight as I used to. I’m afraid that my husband isn’t getting as much pleasure as he used to, and maybe he thinks I’m “sloppy.” What can I do to fix this? --Uptight

Laura's Response,

Dear Uptight,
Having a baby will definitely change your body, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. First, stop your worrying--fretting about sex will only make it more difficult for you both to have fun. Second, realize that you might not be able to be as tight as a 17-year-old virgin anymore, but that isn’t the only component to good sex! For a temporary fix, you can try a vaginal tightening cream, which will work for an hour or more and should be used right before sex. Try the Embrace Organic Tightening Gel or the Snuggels Lube Shrink Cream. To get back in shape (literally), you need to work your vaginal muscles by doing your Kegel exercises. A great way to do this is by using ben wa balls for 5-10 minutes daily. The Like A Virgin kit includes tightening pleasure gel and ben wa balls. For even stronger muscles (which means more pleasure for you!), check out the Natural Contours Energie Kegel exerciser.

Larry's Response:

Dear Uptight,
First of all, don’t think of it as “sloppy” – you had something the size of a watermelon pass through something the size of a lemon, and there’s going to be an effect. While there are certainly devices that you can use to strengthen and tone your pelvic region, including the strength of your PC muscle, there is almost always an inevitable loss of elasticity after a natural birth. And if you think the issue is a big deal now, wait until after your third child – you’ll think back fondly on these days. Some women even consider getting special tightening vaginoplasty to counter this issue. Or experiment with anal sex.
But the simplest thing that you can do is embark on a regimen of vaginal training. Consider using a helpful tool to provide resistance, and for at least 15 minutes a day make a concerted effort to tighten your vaginal muscles over and over again. Then, at regular points during the day, try the clench your muscles repeatedly without the resistance to help tone them. This can be done at your desk, driving, or pretty much anywhere, without the need to disrobe or use a device.
But to cure your immediate concern, distract him with plenty of oral and manual stimulation while you focus on your “down below” workouts. If experience is any teacher, then having a one-year-old running around will make your husband eternally grateful for the release and attention, so much so that he is unlikely to focus on the issue – and then when you do get to the thrill of bumping uglies, he’ll not only be so worked up it won’t matter. Good luck – and welcome to parenthood!