Larry's Response:

Dear Uncut,
More than likely. But that doesn't necessarily mean that you should run right out and do it. The debate over circumcision is, literally, thousands of years old. Some cultures consider it genital mutilation, some consider it a profound religious ritual, and some see it as an issue of hygiene. When done in infancy, it's relatively painless, while some cultures wait until adolescence and use the ritual to mark a boy as a man. As adults, circumcision is far more painful and prone to complications than when it's done in infancy, but the end result is the same: the glans of the penis is left permanently exposed, which decreases its sensitivity.

Why is that a good thing? Because Mr. Happy can go off half-cocked sometimes, and that can be embarrassing and awkward. It really doesn't matter if you have a 11 inch pole in your pants if it only lasts 3.5 minutes before you're done. The glans of the penis is particularly sensitive when covered by the natural foreskin, and while Nature may have not seen any important reason to extend your Happy Time any longer than that, most of us would rather see it extended a bit. Removing the foreskin is the most expedient, permanent way to achieve this. While there are desensitizing creams that can help you last longer, they also have drawbacks, including desensitizing your partner's happy bits, too - and that can lead to chafing. Not to mention the "heat of the moment" issue - nothing kills the sex buzz more with a woman than telling her "Wait, wait, let me get my desensitizing cream so I don't explode before I get my pants off!" or "I know we just met, but could you help me on with the cock ring before we proceed? I sorta need it. But don't touch it too much or oh, Oh, OH! Um . . . got a tissue?" Not terribly impressive.

So the question is: to cut, or not to cut? Sure, you lose some sensitivity, but if it means you can go out more than twice with the same girl, that might make up for it. Not to mention the beating your self-esteem takes when your train arrives at the station early. If it's a serious enough issue so that you're seeking out advice on the subject, then I seriously suggest you talk to your doctor and learn the specifics of the procedure. Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

My man wants me to be a porn star in the bedroom and talk naughty. I don't know what to say help get him excited. Ideas? --Tongue-tied

Laura's Response:

Dear Tongue-tied,
The best tip I ever heard for "talking dirty," from the great Katie Morgan, is just "narrate what you're doing." If he's running has hands around your boobs, talk about it! Describe how it feels, what he's touching, and throw in some pants and moans for good measure. No need to get too complicated--just some straight dirty talk! If you're still confused or stumped, ask him what he likes to hear. Watch a few XXX films to get more ideas. If you're role-playing a fun fantasy, you can add plot lines and character traits, which might be easier than making something up entirely.

Larry's Response:

Dear TT,
This is one of the easiest ways to spice up a relationship and improve the heat in your bedroom without appliances, but there are some common pitfalls that many folks fall into that make experimenting with "dirty talk" a one-time-only thing.

The usual reason that folks shy away from it in the first place is self-consciousness. Most women seem to be quite self-conscious of "talking like a slut" for their men, afraid that they will be judged or - worse still - laughed at. If you're going to do this then you have to accept at the outset that you might, indeed, sound silly to an outside observer, but that this is intimate fantasy play with just the two of you - you aren't being judged. If it helps, try a little mental role-playing: pretend that you are someone else, someone who regularly indulges in such things (and I'm sure your mind can conjure someone without much help) and become her for a few heated moments. Some ladies recommend developing an "evil twin" personae, even adding a wig or other costuming to help them make the transition from respectable wife and mother to foul-mouthed sex kitten more easily. Once you can overcome your innate stage fright and relax a little, then you can proceed to Step Two: what the hell to say.

I'd recommend that you and your man sit down for a little erotic homework and outline those terms that you find mutually acceptable. Remember, if you're really going to do it for him (and if you've gone this far, you might as well go all the way) then your dirty talk is for his benefit, and should be "written" accordingly. That means when you might be thinking "It feels so good when you're inside me", and that might turn him on a bit, what he probably wants to hear is "I love it when you pump my pussy with your cock!". Men are very object-oriented when it comes to sex (it's a side-effect of having a penis - sorry!) so discussing your feelings, regardless of how sexy they might be to you, is almost always going to take a backseat to describing what you're doing and what you want in terms of your genitalia, not your relationship. Sure, sure, he loves you dearly and that turns him on . . . but not as much as you staring him in the face in a moment of passion and screaming "don't stop eating my pussy!"

That being said, it's important for both of you to avoid words that one of you find offensive, degrading, or just sex-negative, hence the pre-coitus convo. If you dislike words like "cunt" or "twat", then make that clear - but try to pick at least one good forbidden four-letter word for your vagina (but not 'vagina' - it makes guys think of feminine hygiene commercials and health class, not your sweet flower of femininity) and use that. Also settle on a few choice terms for his junk, too - you can't go wrong by talking about how much you adore Mr. Happy! Have him give you a few examples of what he wants, tell him in turn what you'd like to hear, and by all means avoid the vapid pornstar standby of "Oh! Yeah! Oh! Yeah! Oh! Yeah!" - it's boring and it's been done.

Most dirty talk on porn is poorly done, but it's what he's been exposed to and that is often what he's expecting. But that doesn't mean it's the only thing that turns him on. If you sit across from him at the kitchen table one night over a glass of wine, turn the lights down low, and spend five uninterrupted minutes laying out your nastiest, sexiest feelings for him in some fantasy scenario (Cabana boy and rich heiress, for example, or pirate captain and captured maiden - you know what does it for you) in your own words you'll do far better than resorting to a bunch of hackneyed porn scripts. Dirty talk is an art - just because he's only seen paint-by-numbers doesn't mean he'd object to something a little more ambitious. The English language is one of the richest for describing the acts of love and sex, and there are plenty of multi-syllabic words you can resort to without sounding like a dockside hooker.

Of course, if you know another language, consider throwing some in your dirty talk for extra flavor. Your grandmother's biscuit recipe can be dirty as hell if said lustfully in Spanish or French in the heat of passion. Just make sure he doesn't speak that language, else buzz-crushing laughter could ensue. Even if you don't know a language, pick up a few choice phrases to throw in to add novelty and romance into the equation. And don't forget to announce the impending arrival of your own orgasm - that really does it for a dude.

Lastly, if you really want to talk nasty without sounding like a . . . well, you know . . . then pre-script a few good phrases, and be creative: turn to Shakespeare, if it makes you feel classier about it. The Bard was dirty as hell, and there are a few kinky tricks in his work that you can steal, if you're clever enough. And a couple of modified lines from your fave romance novel can work, too.

And, if all else fails, chanting "F**k me! F**k me!" over and over . . . it's hard to lose with that. Good luck!