Dear Laura and Larry,

I'm sure you've heard this questions a million times, but I've tried every last resort on this matter. I want to know how to prolong my sexual stamina in bed. I have tried various pills, but nothing works! I have heard that the way to last longer is foreplay, but I just don't believe it. Yes, I do have desensitizer, but it only works for an extra 5 minutes or so. What is the secret to lasting 15-20 mins longer in bed? --Marathon Man

Laura's Response:

Dear Marathon Man,
First, keep a few things in mind. The average length of intercourse is around 5 minutes. More than that is just icing on the cake. Sex doesn't have to be a marathon session to be good. If you take your cue from porn films, remember this: male performers in porn have an unnatural ability to keep it a long time, plus there are lots of stops and starts in the filming. Pills won't really help you stay hard longer. You're on the right track with the desensitizer, as it takes the edge off your sensitivity. The best advice I can give you is to come before you have sex. Have a good orgasm, then while you are recovering, enjoy lots of foreplay and fun with your partner. When you're hard again, you'll be able to last quite a bit longer before coming. Also, be sure to use plenty of lube --it cuts down on the friction, which can prolong the fun. Try a basic cock ring, like the Glow Tri Rings to keep your wand hard for up to 20 minutes.

Larry's Response:

Dear Marathon,
Masturbate more. No, really.
If your little soldier is a little hyper sensitive, then frequent masturbation can often lead to decreased sensitivity that in turn leads to longer happy time. And you might want to fire one off about an hour or so before your big moment, just to clear the easy one out of the chamber. Reducing the physiological need to orgasm produced by masturbating earlier in the evening makes your second time around a lot harder to achieve. Also, if you are uncircumcised you might want to consider the operation which - while painful as an adult - usually leads to decreased sensitivity around the head and glans of your willy, your prime trigger zone. Beyond that, I recommend that you pace yourself. Instead of going for broke in one position until it's too late, consider stopping when you're almost there and doing something else - say cunnilingus - for fifteen minutes or so before you continue. Somehow I don't think your woman is going to complain too much about that. Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

How do I keep it smooth, razor bump- and blemish-free down there? I currently wax once a month and I don't shave in between, but I still get blackheads, acne, etc. down there. How do I get mine to look as nice as the porn stars?
What's their secret? --Smooth Lady

Laura's Response:

Dear Smooth Lady,
I believe the adult performers time their waxing schedule with their shooting schedule, plus they get to use makeup everywhere to hide those little blemishes. The bumps and acne you get are generally caused by the hair growing out. Because waxing removes the hair below the skin line, sometimes the hair doesn't poke past the skin as it grows, so it becomes ingrown, and can itch! My tip for smoothing it: Exfoliate. If you have a scrubby-doodle in the shower, give your area of interest a decent (not too rough) scrubbing each day. Then you'll want to moisturize the skin so that the hair will be lubricated as it grows out. I highly recommend using silicone lube (like Pjur Eros body glide ) and just rubbing a little bit on the area (it won't dry up). You could also use massage oil (like Inttimo). Be sure not to get the oil inside your vagina, though.

Larry's Response:

Dear Smooth,
Photoshop. Just kidding, but still . . .
The secret to a smooth Brazil wax is going to a competent professional who understands the ins and outs (no pun intended) of the ano-vaginal region. As delightful as your loins might be, they're also a harbor for all manner of germs that can infect distressed hair follicles. While you're probably using a proper skin conditioner and disinfectant after waxing, as per the directions, trusting a real professional to get your Vajayjay just right is well worth the added expense. Plus, many professional waxers offer "touch ups" for free or at a reduced rate. Then there's the more expensive but more permanent laser treatments which often result in far less skin blemishes. Either way you go, if your problem persists after a professional treatment, consult a dermatologist for more intensive therapy. Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

I have been married almost 9 years. I have started to become very into bondage, but I don't know how to bring this into my bedroom without upsetting my hubby. I don't want to start small, I want hard-core bondage, and I don't think he is into that kind of thing. I brought up handcuffs and he just kinda blew me off. This is something that I really want and I have looked at all the supplies. I just turned 32 and it seems like I have hit a high in my sexual appetite. I am faithful to my hubby and I want to open his mind to this. --Tie Me Up

Laura's Response,

Dear Tie Me Up,
I know you don't want to start small, you will have to, if you want your husband to come along for the ride. If you jump feet first into hard-core bondage, you will likely freak him out. You'll need to communicate about it, outside of the bedroom and before you try anything wild, and find a comfort level together. Tell him about your milder fantasies, and what you would like to act out (rather than springing it on him in bed). Watch some movies together (particularly Nina Hartley's Guide to Erotic Bondage), and tell him what you want to try. Then, be patient with him. Handcuffs can be a little intimidating for those beginning to explore bondage for the first time. Go for something softer, like Pleasure Tape or plush Love Bonds. A nice intermediate system that might work for you is Sportsheets Bondage Bed. Always remember: establish a safe word that releases the person from bondage or fantasy, and always respect the safe word.

Larry's Response:

Dear Tie,
Despite your desire to plunge right in to the whacky world of bondage and discipline, a gradual approach is best when dealing with a reluctant spouse on the subject. My advice is to not wait for him to grab the handcuffs, but to present him with a fait accompli and let him just deal with it. For example, put on a pretty outfit and handcuff yourself to the bed after hiding the key someplace . . . interesting. Get hubby to find it, but let him do whatever he wants with you until he does. The man who doesn't leap at that opportunity spends too much time listening to musical theater. During the (hopefully) ecstatic aftermath of the session, point out how much fun it was and make sure you let him know how thrilled and turned on you were . . . and then suggest you try it again in a different position. Once you engage his enthusiasm by showing him the erotic potential, you can start gradually working more B&D into your relationship. One part of his reluctance might actually be a deep love and respect for you. Oftentimes when spouses are confronted with their mate's desire to be bound and used, they have a natural reaction to wonder why, and then wonder about their own sexual inadequacies. Be sure to communicate to him in no uncertain terms (because guys are clueless if you don't spell it out explicitly) that you wanting to be tied down and (possibly) spanked and verbally humiliated for sexual purposes is IN NO WAY a reflection of your love and respect for either him or the relationship - you just get off hard that way. Once he realizes that this is something that you really want, mutually agree on a safe-word and he'll be a lot more relaxed about fulfilling your fantasy. Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry,

I was recently making love to a woman. When I was inside her, she started tightening her muscles to make it a tigher fit. I said I enjoyed the move. She told me her other lover complained about this, as it hurt him. Can you comment on this? Why the two different reactions? --Squeezed

Laura's Response:

Dear Squeezed,
She squeezed or PC (or pubococcygeal) muscle. It would indeed make a tighter fit, as well as stimulating your penis and her G-spot. Why would another man not like it? Who knows? Maybe he doesn't care to be gripped so tightly. Perhaps he had a wider penis and the tighter fit was uncomfortable. Maybe he wasn't used to the sensation and didn't care for it. Some women can grip a man's penis so hard that he literally can't move it in or out until she lets go--that might be a bit uncomfortable! If you like the feeling, check out a "tight" masturbator, like the Futurotic Pocket Pal. A mild "shrinking" gel can also give a woman that tighter feel, temporarily.

Larry's Response:

Dear Squeezed,
Different strokes for different folks . . . literally. Some fellas might find the fabled "Red Snapper" move a little confining, and depending upon their size and love style perhaps even painful. But the truth is that everyone has their favorite parts of sex, and if your woman's ex-lover didn't like the Squeeze that could just be because he's not into that sort of thing. For most men, however, you can't get it too tight - the increased pressure also increases the friction, and that's almost always a good thing. So keep up with the PC muscle exercises, ladies - we love it!