Ask Laura, December 2008

Dear Laura,
I have been with my husband for over 10 years, we were married 2 months ago. Since we have been married, I have been looking for ways to spice up our sex life. He has a very healthy sex drive and is open to trying new things. We just recently purchased a bullet and a vibrator. Do you have any suggestions for us? --Spice it Up

Dear Spice it Up,
Be sure to pace yourself! You don’t want to go overboard with new toys right away--you have the luxury of a commitment to really explore each other! That said, I think it’s fabulous that you’re reinventing your sex life in celebration of your marriage. An absolutely wonderful toy that is specifically designed for couples to use together is a vibrating cock ring! It keeps him harder longer, and puts buzzing vibrations right on your clit! Check out the Adam & Eve Vibrating Couples Enhancer!

Dear Laura,
My husband and I have been having a problem for about 2 years. I’m always dry! Even with lube, I can get so dry inside that I’ll bleed within less than half an hour. I’m only 21, and my doc isn’t worried about it. Is there anything I can do? It started when I got pregnant and didn’t go away. --Desert Gal

Dear Desert Gal,
There are quite a few reasons why you might be dry--including dehydration. First, make sure you are getting plenty of water. Second, make sure you are getting lots of foreplay so you can naturally self-lubricate. One thing to note though: Natural lubrication only lasts for about 2 to 5 seconds before it dries up. So does saliva! I’d recommend a nice thick lube like Adam & Eve Personal Gel--it won’t dry up so quickly. You could also a try a silicone lube, which does not evaporate, plus it’s much lighter weight. Check out the ID Millennium Lube. I also recommend the Lube Shooter so you can be thoroughly coated on the inside as well as the outside! Good luck!

Dear Laura, Why is tongue piercing so popular, and what are the benefits? --Studly

Dear Studly,
Besides being an interesting option for body modification, many people want to pierce their tongues to broaden their sexual repertoire. The firm metal or plastic bead on a barbell tongue stud can create exotic thrills during oral sex (for men and women)! Want to try it without actually getting a piercing? For men, grab a Luscious Lips masturbator--it has a piercing as part of it, so you can experience a tongue stud running up and down your shaft. For ladies (or men), get yourself the Tongue Vibe. It’s not quite like a piercing, but it puts vibrations on your tongue tip for impressive orgasms when you go down!

Dear Laura,
My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about a year now. We have a very healthy sex life and have recently made a major purchase of new toys to help the sex stay fun instead of feeling like a chore. I was wondering if you sold "sperm-safe" lube. My doctor recommended getting some, and I would prefer to buy from Adam & Eve. Thanks! --Maybe Baby

Dear Maybe Baby,
Most general-purpose lubes are sperm-safe if they do not explicitly contain a spermicide. Many lubes will put a boilerplate warning on the bottle that they “may kill some sperm.” Your best bet is to go with a very mild lube that is not chemically complicated, such as Essentials Pure Lubricant. You can also make sure you are very turned on and quite wet with your own natural lubricant, so that you don’t have to use as much from the bottle. When you’re about to ovulate (your most fertile time), your cervical fluid gets stretchy and sticky, enhancing your natural lubrication a bit. Good luck!

Dear Laura,
I am with a man who is 17 years my senior. My question is that he is very easily turned on and gets hard, yet he sometimes can’t maintain it, and when he comes it is almost always soft right before he goes. Most of the time I have to finish him either orally or hand job because it is not hard enough for intercourse. While the sex is great, I would like to know is there something to make him stay harder until the act is done. Any suggestions on toys or tricks? Thanks! --Curious Dear Curious,
I have two very different suggestions for you. One is to try a cock ring. If he gets a nice, firm hard on, and slips it down to the base of his penis, it will keep him hard (and delay his orgasm a bit). Do not use it for longer than 20 minutes! The Adam & Eve Triple Erection system is a great choice--a variety of sizes, and plenty stretchy! The other option is for you to get a dildo that he can use on you. You will still be having sex with him--just with some assistance in the form of this great toy! You can find one that feels very real, and it will never go soft. Check out the So Real 6-inch Realistic Dildo!

Dear Laura,
My fiancé and I have no trouble having sex. But I have never had an orgasm. He thinks it’s all his fault, when I know it’s not. I’ve read plenty of articles about women and this problem, and they all suggest that I masturbate to make myself orgasm. Which I’ve tried, and I still have nothing. Can you please help me with some guided suggestions? --Ms. Impossible

Dear Ms. Possible (not Impossible!),
Masturbating is a bit like tickling yourself--you’re far more ticklish when someone else does it, because you aren’t quite sure where the sensations are going to come from! That said, I do have some suggestions for you. First, mentally relax. Second, get ready to overload your pleasure centers! I recommend getting a really good adult movie so that you can saturate your senses with some really hot action (I recommend Eden). Take your time watching the movie, and explore your body a bit with your hands. Imagine that’s you in the situations you see--active fantasizing is important because the brain is your biggest erogenous zone! When you’re feeling very turned on, you might bring a clitoral vibrator into play. A great choice for first-timers is a bullet, like the Tickle Me Baby Mini Bullet. Explore to see how this feels best to you. You can also super-charge your clit with some Make Me Cum sensitizer before you get started! Pay attention to what feels good to you, and what doesn’t. If these techniques don’t quite work for you, go for the most powerful vibe we have: a wand massager like the A&E Massaging Vibrator. Happy hunting for your O!