Sex Toys & Income Taxes

Once again, it’s time to dig out your trusty calculator and the shoe box filled with old receipts and get ready to file your taxes. While you’re spending the next few nights trying to figure out why your numbers don’t add up and hoping that the IRS doesn’t decide to audit you this year, your friends at Adam & Eve wanted to make the whole process a little less stressful.

Our first idea was to convince the IRS that sex toys and adult movies are legitimate medical expenses and should be tax deductible. After all, adult products are great for stress relief and a proven cure for blue balls.

Along the way, I’ve picked up a few things (knowledge, not STDs) that I thought I’d share with you to try to eliminate some of the stigma surrounding the mysterious world of online dating and hook-ups.

The IRS was not amused. In fact, they promised to “scrutinize your returns with a magnifying glass.” After removing various business expense deductions for vibrator batteries and big-screen TVs for reviewing adult movies, we decided it would be a lot easier on our legal bills to put together a sex toy guide. Just look up your filing status to find a few sex toy suggestions that will put a smile on your face even if you end up owing Uncle Sam this year. And if you get a nice refund instead, you’ve got something to spend your money on!

What’s your Filing Status?

Single
So, you’re all on your own. You’re living large and living free with no one to answer to or take care of. So you need a sex Eden 7x Triple Pleasure Rabbit Vibrator – With a dolphin to tickle your clit, a seahorse to tease your ass and the long shaft working over your pussy, this rabbit vibrator is like 3 sex toys in one! Factor in the multiple vibration functions, 2 motors for extra power, and its waterproof seal and you’ve got all the sex toy you could ever need!

Vibrating Perfect Ass – One of the greatest realistic masturbators we’ve ever seen, this heavy-duty butt is so life-like you’ll find yourself pinching it, spanking it, squeezing it and spanking it some more. It even makes a great smacking sound! Made with life-like cyberskin, this masturbator includes dual-vibrating Love Bullets for added stimulation.

Head of Household
You have a lot of responsibilities as head of household, so you need a sex toy that can keep up with your fast-paced life. More importantly, you need something discrete enough that it won’t raise embarrassing questions if someone else finds it.

Glass Sex Toys – With no motor to draw attention and often mistaken for artistic sculptures, glass sex toys are about as discrete as it gets. The Taffy Tickler Glass Dildo, Cyberglass Snake of Paradise and Cyberglass 4-way Dildo are all great choices for their colorful design and feature-packed designs.

The Fleshlight – A time-tested masturbator, this male sex toy features a discrete case for easy storage and a suction-like feel that mimics an actual blowjob.

Married, filing jointly
Whether you’ve still got sand in your shoes from your honeymoon or you just celebrated your silver anniversary, there are a number of sex toys out there to help keep your relationship fresh and your sex life lively!

Cock Rings – Called the ultimate sex toy for couples, cock rings help boost his performance and endurance while providing extra clit stimulation to help her get off! Be sure to try a vibrating cock ring for added fun. The Clit Flicker Cock Ring is one of our most popular, and the Dual Slider Cock Ring provides extra stimulation for his balls.

Under the Bed Restraint System – Flip a coin and decide who gets to be tied up first! This toy features padded cuffs for comfortable restraint and slips right under your mattress afterward for privacy. It doesn’t get much better than this!

Married, filing separately
While there are numerous reasons for filing separately, we’ll just assume it’s because you’re living in separate locations because that will really work best for the purpose of recommending toys.

Internet Enabled Rabbit Vibrator – This unique sex toy can be controlled over the Internet via a special chat room, making it ideal for a long-distance relationship.

Adult Sex Movies – Whether it’s anal or amateurs, your favorite adult movies can’t make up for being apart from your loved ones but they can help relieve some of the tension!