Harry Hardcock for President
He’s got a Hard-on for America’s future.
Meet Harry Hardcock
Born – Sept 6, 1957
Hometown – Licking Valley, Idaho
Education - Graduated from Harvard with a degree in history and political science in 1979 and received a law degree from Yale in 1982.
Favorite Song – Summer of ‘69
Favorite Movie - Deepthroat
Favorite Book – How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson
Favorite Quote – To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. - Cary Grant
Favorite Position - Wheelbarrow
Personal Heroes – Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi, John Holmes
Nickname for his penis – Harry’s Hot Dog
Biography
Born in 1957 to potato farmers Mark and Linda Hardcock, Harry grew up in the small farming community of Licking Valley, Idaho.
As a young boy, Harry quickly became used to helping out on the farm with daily chores when he wasn’t participating in the local baseball league or swimming team. His perseverance and dedication to hard work paid off later in high school when Harry and a few of his friends opened up a small business catering to the needs of local widows and housewives – plowing their vegetable gardens, keeping their bushes trimmed, helping them out around the house and other things.
After graduating high school, Harry went to Harvard where his eagerness and passion for learning made him a popular student among the professors. There are even rumors that some of the female faculty used to have pictures of him in their offices and even the faculty lounge as a model student. It was in college that Harry met the great love of his life - Ellen Street, who he married while in law school.
Once he received his law degree, Harry returned home and went to work as a local prosecutor – building up a reputation as a moral crusader by taking a hands-on approach in several sting operations on local brothels and sex stores. After “making his bones” as a prosecutor, Harry was elected attorney general of Idaho and then governor before going on to serve a term in the U.S. Senate.
With his clear-cut devotion and love for his country, his boy-next-door looks and fresh, capable ideas, Harry was a shoe-in to win his party’s nomination for president. And, with your support, he’s primed to hit the ground running for the oval orifice.
He’s got a Hard-on for America’s future.
Meet Harry Hardcock
Born – Sept 6, 1957
Hometown – Licking Valley, Idaho
Education - Graduated from Harvard with a degree in history and political science in 1979 and received a law degree from Yale in 1982.
Favorite Song – Summer of ‘69
Favorite Movie - Deepthroat
Favorite Book – How to Make Love Like a Porn Star by Jenna Jameson
Favorite Quote – To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. - Cary Grant
Favorite Position - Wheelbarrow
Personal Heroes – Abraham Lincoln, Ghandi, John Holmes
Nickname for his penis – Harry’s Hot Dog
Biography
Born in 1957 to potato farmers Mark and Linda Hardcock, Harry grew up in the small farming community of Licking Valley, Idaho.
As a young boy, Harry quickly became used to helping out on the farm with daily chores when he wasn’t participating in the local baseball league or swimming team. His perseverance and dedication to hard work paid off later in high school when Harry and a few of his friends opened up a small business catering to the needs of local widows and housewives – plowing their vegetable gardens, keeping their bushes trimmed, helping them out around the house and other things.
After graduating high school, Harry went to Harvard where his eagerness and passion for learning made him a popular student among the professors. There are even rumors that some of the female faculty used to have pictures of him in their offices and even the faculty lounge as a model student. It was in college that Harry met the great love of his life - Ellen Street, who he married while in law school.
Once he received his law degree, Harry returned home and went to work as a local prosecutor – building up a reputation as a moral crusader by taking a hands-on approach in several sting operations on local brothels and sex stores. After “making his bones” as a prosecutor, Harry was elected attorney general of Idaho and then governor before going on to serve a term in the U.S. Senate.
With his clear-cut devotion and love for his country, his boy-next-door looks and fresh, capable ideas, Harry was a shoe-in to win his party’s nomination for president. And, with your support, he’s primed to hit the ground running for the oval orifice.
Harry’s Position on the Issues
Economy – Supports limited trade restrictions and tax hikes on imports to limit “offshoring” and re-build flagging American industries. “Decent, hard-working Americans deserve to have their rubber dicks and vibrators made here, by their neighbors, by people who know what they like, not some underpaid and overworked stranger half-way across the world in China.”
Education – He is in favor of mandatory sexual education for everyone, including hands-on labs. “Sex is too important to learn in the back seat of a car,” Hardcock was overheard saying at a recent PTA meeting at McSorely High School.
Energy – Hardcock would increase taxes on oil companies to support research into alternative energy sources. “We burn hundreds of calories during sex, just imagine if there was a way to harvest that energy. The adult movie industry could become bigger than the Middle East,” he said at a townhall meeting in rural Crotch Lake, Arkansas.
Sex – Hardcock is adamant making the wheelbarrow the National Sex Position. “Missionary, doggy, cowgirl – those are all for beginners. If you want to hit the G Spot and make her pass out with pleasure, take a tip from Harry, there’s nothing better than the wheelbarrow,” according to a close source to Mr. Hardcock.
Taxes – Insists on tax breaks for middle-class families and would raise taxes on the wealthy, which according to a recent informal discussion, Hardcock believes is "anyone richer than me." At his speech at the annual meeting of Bankers Investing Gold and Dollars Into the Community (BIGDIC), Hardcock was reported to have said, “[Tax breaks] would enable middle-class couples to meet the rising cost of groceries and gas while still being able to afford the sex toys they need to keep their sex life from growing stale. In turn, hopefully, we could change the rising status of divorce in America."
Economy – Supports limited trade restrictions and tax hikes on imports to limit “offshoring” and re-build flagging American industries. “Decent, hard-working Americans deserve to have their rubber dicks and vibrators made here, by their neighbors, by people who know what they like, not some underpaid and overworked stranger half-way across the world in China.”
Education – He is in favor of mandatory sexual education for everyone, including hands-on labs. “Sex is too important to learn in the back seat of a car,” Hardcock was overheard saying at a recent PTA meeting at McSorely High School.
Energy – Hardcock would increase taxes on oil companies to support research into alternative energy sources. “We burn hundreds of calories during sex, just imagine if there was a way to harvest that energy. The adult movie industry could become bigger than the Middle East,” he said at a townhall meeting in rural Crotch Lake, Arkansas.
Sex – Hardcock is adamant making the wheelbarrow the National Sex Position. “Missionary, doggy, cowgirl – those are all for beginners. If you want to hit the G Spot and make her pass out with pleasure, take a tip from Harry, there’s nothing better than the wheelbarrow,” according to a close source to Mr. Hardcock.
Taxes – Insists on tax breaks for middle-class families and would raise taxes on the wealthy, which according to a recent informal discussion, Hardcock believes is "anyone richer than me." At his speech at the annual meeting of Bankers Investing Gold and Dollars Into the Community (BIGDIC), Hardcock was reported to have said, “[Tax breaks] would enable middle-class couples to meet the rising cost of groceries and gas while still being able to afford the sex toys they need to keep their sex life from growing stale. In turn, hopefully, we could change the rising status of divorce in America."