Dear Laura and Larry, I've purchased two of your masturbators (highly rated), but, because I am OCD, I want to know how to absolutely clean and disinfect them. Seriously, I have not even used them yet. Any and all info you may provide me will be deeply appreciated. --Randy Andy

Laura's Response:

Dear Randy Andy,
Excellent question! Keeping sex toys clean is a terrific idea for anyone who owns them! You don't want bacteria hanging out, because infections in your fun parts can seriously put the kybosh on your sex life. Here are a few tips for you. First off, most masturbators are made with some sort of silicone compound, which helps make them very stretchy. Always used a water-based lube (such as Adam & Eve Personal Lube) because a silicone-based lube will bond with the material and make it "melt," ruining the toy. Wash it well with antibacterial soap and warm water after every use. Then spray Adam & Eve Essentials Toy Cleaner thoroughly on it. This product will keep your toys clean--it kills germs and bacteria. You can spray it both before and after using the toy. And with your silicone masturbators, you may notice that the surface feels "tacky" or sticky after a while. Dust the toy with some cornstarch powder now and then to prevent this feel. Also consider storing the toys in separate Sugar Saks --these lint-free storage bags have a special microbiostatic lining with Bioshield that prevents the growth of bacteria, yeast, mildew, and viruses.

Larry's Response:

Dear Andy:
Bacteria are icky, and you don't want them infecting your toys, of course. Luckily, most masturbators can be thoroughly cleaned pretty simply. The easiest route, of course, is gently washing them with a mild antibacterial hand soap and hot water - that should kill most of the germs. Conversely you can invest in some special toy cleaner while you wash it out in the sink. If you're really OCD, however (and I know folks who go to extremes like this about germs) then buy some Betadine at a medical supply store, and after you've washed your pocket pal, soak her for fifteen minutes in a sink with a capful of the disinfectant. It's regularly used to establish a sterile field in surgery, so it should easily wipe out all the nasties in your equipment. Don't use bleach, however - as effective as it is at killing germs, it can chemically react with the silicone of the toy and cause meltage. You don't want meltage. Meltage is bad. Good Luck!

Dear Laura and Larry, Can the frequency that a man can ejaculate change from person to person and from day to day? For example, if he ejaculates each morning, can he be ready to go again at 10 some days and others not until 2? --Stopwatch

Laura's Response:

Dear Stopwatch,
Yes, it definitely varies from person to person. The time in between orgasms is known as the refractory period, and during this time, the man cannot achieve another orgasm. Sometimes the penis may be extremely sensitive just after orgasm (much like the clitoris can be), and more stimulation can be downright painful. Generally, the refractory period gets longer as a man ages. One study claimed an average of 15 minutes of "down time" for 18-year-old males. Of course, some men can be ready to go again right away on one day, and other times just can't get it up for a few hours. It's normal and has nothing to with desire (or lack of it). A tip: Find a way to be intimate without needing a hard penis. Maybe he can concentrate on your pleasure (oral sex, anyone?), or you can cuddle, massage, or take a bubble bath together to get ready for round two. Better yet, There is still a lot of fun you can have when the penis is not erect! For instance, check out the Hollow Strap-On. He can tuck himself inside and keep plowing away!

Larry's Response:

Dear Stopwatch,
Oh, mais ouis! A fella's "rate of fire" is heavily dependent on a number of factors, and many of them fluctuate over time. For the average male it takes anywhere from two to four hours to "recharge" sufficiently to rise again, ready for action. Note I said average - there's plenty of variation. And due to fluctuations in hormones, expect to see your personal numbers range widely, dropping slowly over time. It's got nothing to do with your desire, as much as your diet, exercise, and hydration (it's amazing how often we're dehydrated and don't even know it). But if you take longer than your comfortable with, then consult your personal physician - medical science has taken a lot of the guesswork out of (*ahem*) unit preparedness. Plus, a difficulty rising to the occasion may also indicate other issues. But if you can still go a couple of times a day, no worries - you're doing better than a lot of guys!

Dear Laura and Larry, I was thinking of purchasing a surprise gift for my wife. The question is, What if she likes that better than she likes me? --Worried

Laura's Response:

Dear Worried,
Well, aren't you a doll?! Let me put your mind at ease: There is no way your wife will like a toy better than you. Sex toys are not competition--they are assistance! Besides, a sex toy, no matter how great, will not hug her when she's feeling down, take her out for dinner on her birthday, or make her feel special and loved the way that you can. They can bring the two of you together in new heights of ecstasy in the marriage bed. And if you get a toy that she can use alone (like a vibrator), it might well ratchet up her overall desire! My suggestion for a surprise gift would be a toy designed for the two of you to use together: like a vibrating cock ring! You put it on, it helps keep you hard. It vibrates on her clit while you're having sex, bringing you both to powerful orgasms. Check out the Adam & Eve Clit Bumper for an excellent choice.

Larry's Response:

Dear Worried,
Every man gets a little nervous the first time he contemplates buying his wife a BOB (Battery Operated Boyfriend). If she's already experienced in robo-love, then there's the chance that what you select will be unsatisfactory - a woman knows her own body, and knows what kinds of stimulation she likes. Getting her a 13" power tool when she prefers a gentle clitoral hum could be a faux pas and underline (in her mind) the idea that you don't really know what you are doing. So if she's got a box of toys already, scope it out and figure out what her tastes are. Then get her one just like her favorite, only in a different color, just to be safe. On the other hand, if she's a novice, try a few inexpensive ones of different varieties, so that she can experiment and figure out what she likes best. But as far as worrying about whether she likes it better than you, don't. Until they make a vibrator that can change the oil in her car, take out the garbage, and kill spiders, you have serious job security as a studmuffin. Good luck!

Dear Laura and Larry, I have noticed in many video clips that the guy's penis is lighter in color at the tip for about two inches. Is this a natural occurrence, or is it perhaps the result of the enhancement process? --Curious in Arizona

Laura’s Response:

Dear Arizona,
It is a natural occurrence. It’s quite normal to have darker skin around the middle and lower part of the penis. In fact, many men find that their penis in general is darker in skin tone than the rest of their body. With this darker ring around the middle, it might appear that the tip of the penis is lighter in tone.

Larry’s Response:

Dear Arizona,
Just as no two breasts are alike (without surgery, that is), a dude’s dangly bits are all different. The two-toned look is due in part to genetics (thanks, Dad!) and in part as a result of a circumcision, which can sometimes leave scar tissue that harmlessly takes on a slightly different pigment from the rest of the skin. Believe it or not, “penile enhancement” is such a painful and expensive process that few men indulge in it. Not only is Mr. Happy on the bench for the next several months, even with advanced surgical techniques and an expert surgeon the risks for complications are relatively high. One twitch of the scalpel and the wrong nerve cluster gets nicked . . . OUCH! So most men manage to muddle through life with what the Gods gifted them with, be it big, small, two-toned, tiger striped, or whatever. Consider that a good thing: if penile enhancement was easy, we’d all be walking around with dicks the size of our egos and the ladies would all run for cover the moment we entered the room.