Dirty Poems

Thanks a lot for all your dirty poem submissions. We’ve got quite a few that left us laughing and some that were too much for even us to print. Here are a few of our favorites:

Daisy & Deb
By N.
There once was a woman named Daisy
Whose husband was quite lazy
He would lay there prone
While she worked on his bone
One day she met woman named Deb
Who quickly got her into bed
She buzzed her with her plastic dick
And made her come quite quick
Now Deb is with Daisy
and I know it may sound crazy
If it weren't for the toy from Adam and Eve
Deb would never have gotten Daisy

The Pizza Boy
by D.
But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the pizza boy! Alack! I am
without cash or credit to pay the man,
And lo', they do not accept traveler's cheques.

Good sir, I cannot for this pizza pay,
Yet still I crave some Italian sausage.
So to cut the long and extra verbage,
Might we settle my debt some other way?

On Rimming
by P.
My tongue is sticky,
Tender tight hole is tricky.
Ready for quickie?

The Bathroom
by The Horn
This is a place to dump your guts,
Not a place to bust your nuts,
Keep it nice, keep it neat,
Go somewhere else to beat your meat.