July 2018 (continued)

Forbidden Fruit Newsletter
What is the BEST new thing you have ever tried in bed?
Her on top
Added a sex toy
She wore a strap-on
Stimulated his prostate
Anal sex
Blindfold
Bondage
Added a third partner
Watched porn together
Other
Please Specify:
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Savvy Sex with Dr Jenni

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Meet Dr. Jenni, Adam & Eve’s sexpert.

Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, CST is an AASECT certified sex therapist, sexologist, and licensed marriage and family therapist. Dr. Jenni originally pursued a career in sex therapy so to advance her mission for giving all people permission for pleasure by promoting sexual health and healing. Because Adam & Eve also has a sex positive mission helping consenting adults enjoy their sexuality, Dr. Jenni is excited to join the team!

Dr. Jenni lives in Boulder, Colorado where she founded The Intimacy Institute for Sex & Relationship Therapy nine years ago. Today, she co-directs the clinic with her husband Daniel, also a sex therapist. Before moving to Boulder, Dr. Jenni spent time in Atlanta, Georgia. There, she served as a sexual health scholar at the Center of Excellence for Sexual Health (CESH) under the leadership of 16th U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. David Satcher, at Morehouse School of Medicine. At CESH, Dr. Jenni had the opportunity to consult numerous non-profits on sexuality, including the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) on healthy sexuality and sexually healthy relationships.

When not working, you can find Dr. Jenni spending time with husband, their two young sons, and their backyard chickens. Dr. Jenni is passionate about all the World Health Organization (WHO) pillars of health, and therefore maintains a strong self-care practice that includes Crossfit, swimming, and slow walks in nature.

Savvy Sex Questions with Dr. Jenni:

Dear Dr. Jenni,

I've been with my husband for five years. He's a great man. He's like my rock, solid, loving, and an amazing dad. But, I find our bedroom life a bit lackluster. My single girlfriends always talk about these men who have this carnal energy in bed and just "take them." I'm dying for this! But I don't know how to change things up and make it happen. I know we need something new, but I don't even know where to start, and what my husband will say.

-Scared and Stuck

Dear Scared and Stuck,

Long term relationships can certainly feel more sexually dry than the hot and heavy energy of a new relationship. However, trying new things to keep it interesting and erotic can help combat your lackluster feelings.

One exercise to try is called: Green, Yellow, Red. Together you outline all the possible sexual activities that exist (and then Google some more because it's a wide, diverse sexual world out there). Then individually you mark: Green, Yellow, or Red for each activity based on things you love to do (Green); things you would be curious but maybe a little more tentative to try (Yellow); and hard boundaries (Red).

From here, compare notes. Maybe you have a lot of overlapping Yellows you want to try. Or maybe you have some Reds that are Green for him and vice versa. As you deconstruct what is red for each of you, dig deep. Talk about why these are red. Is this activity arbitrarily red because society has named it as a total outlier? Or does the activity kill your arousal? Maybe as you talk, some Reds becomes Yellow. Even if the Reds stay permanently that way, now you have a list of new things to try, and a deeper understanding of possible things to turn each other on.

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Guilty Pleasures Continued

Crossing The Line (continued)

MANY WOMEN HAVE wondered what it would be like to "turn the tables," and be the one doing the penetration, for a change. And a lot of men wonder what it'd be like to be penetrated. Frank conversation may unearth some startling results: once a lover of mine, Ross, confessed he occasionally fantasized about the idea of being on the receiving end of a woman's strap-on, especially if the woman doing the deed was hot, fiery, and extra well-endowed. So, with some research, I found out what it takes to fuck a man silly.

At the time I put my plans in motion, Ross was in the doldrums due to work and family stress. So I decided to take charge and serve up a whole new kind of night for him. Knowing his fantasy, how much he loved me to be assertive with him, and having eased a lubed finger or two into his back door a few times (to very erotic results), I was sure he'd enjoy the night.

To set the mood I called him up and told him to come over at eight. "Should I wear anything special?" he asked, half teasing, since it was a question I often ask him before a date night (being caught in three inch heels on wet grass at a surprise outdoor concert will teach you a lesson). To his surprise I said, "Dress comfortably. But bring along an open mind."

Before he came over I got the lube ready, lit scented candles to make the room feel extra sensual, and ran a hot bath. I slipped on the harness and strap-on on beneath a set of loose trousers. I didn't bother with panties; they would've only gotten in the way of the strap-on's leather against my bare pussy. When I moved just so, it rubbed deliciously over my most sensitive spots. I pulled my dark hair back and wore a tailored white shirt—unbuttoned to the waist, showing the lacy black push-up bra I wore. My nipples pushed against the thin lace and poked up underneath the shirt. The excitement of the night ahead made them stick out, hard and sensitive.

I met him at the door with a passionate, searching kiss -- first his mouth. Then I dropped to my knees and mouthed at the hard length of his cock through his jeans. But before he could unzip, I got up and led him upstairs.

The bathroom's steamy-warm heat enveloped us. I undressed Ross with sensual, exploring fingers and guided him into the hot bath. He was clearly enjoying the seduction—his naked skin was flushed, his cock erect, his big, strong hands reached for my nipples through my shirt. I let him cop a feel as I knelt next to the bath on a towel. I took my time washing him, exploring his muscles, and felt it as he released the day's stress. His thighs fell open. I teased his cock enough to make him groan, then moved my hand underneath him so that my index finger could tease his rear opening. "Mm," he sighed, and turned his gorgeous, muscular body so I could get a better angle. I didn't want to do too much, too quickly -- just get him relaxed and used to my touch. Judging by how his cock jumped as I worked the tip of my finger inside him, Ross was completely on board.

After that tease, I guided him out of the bath and dried him off with a fluffy towel. Then I took his hand and pressed it against my crotch. He felt the strap-on and pressed against it with his thigh, feeling its size and stiffness. "I knew I was in for something wild," he murmured. Our bodies were pressed together in that wonderful, familiar embrace -- except for one difference. We were breathless with anticipation. I don't remember how we made it to the bed!

The bedroom glowed with the candlelight. I stripped off my clothes and showed him what I'd brought. He was fascinated by my curves harnessed beneath the heavy black straps, and the sight of a thick, realistic cock jutting from between my legs.

He ran his hands over my body and the strap-on, and finally kneeled down to kiss the dong. I put my hands in his hair the same way he liked to run his hands through mine, and felt a shiver of arousal as he took the tip of the strap-on in his mouth and gave it an experimental suck.

I couldn't wait much longer, though, and neither could he. We moved up onto the bed. I continued to caress him—running my hands up and down his chest, his stomach, his balls and cock, then his ass. I stopped only to drizzle a little lube onto my fingers before I slid my hand behind his balls to finger his back entrance again. Face-to-face we kissed deeply as I moved my finger, my tongue mirroring the movements. He pressed hard against me with his chest, his nipples grazing mine. I could tell he was trying hard to restrain his strong nature—by now, if he were leading, I'd be naked and panting under his weight. But I wanted to take care of him tonight. I played with him, finding his good spots: where he moaned with pleasure, what made his cock extra hard. Getting just inside the entrance of his back door and gently pressing against the upper wall seemed to drive him wild.

"Ready?" I asked him softly, and in answer he turned over on the bed and presented me with his glorious back and ass. I ran my tongue and my fingernails all over, teasing his skin into the quickest response. He moaned and arched. I ran my fingers and mouth down towards his ass as I slicked my dildo up with lube. I told him how much I loved him and wanted to fulfill his wildest fantasies, like he'd done for me, and he quivered and clutched at the bedsheets. Since he was squeaky clean, I teased his sensitive back door with my tongue. Then I rubbed lube all around and fingered him again, first with one, then two, then at last three. This time, he responded with clear desire, raising his ass up in the air. I was fascinated by this -- is this how he saw me? I wondered. Then he whispered "fuck me," and the heavy leather crotch strap of my harness pressed against me in just the right way. I came, a hot flutter and clench of muscle that I hadn't even expected. I'd been so turned on and so focused, my orgasm had caught me entirely by surprise. And here, I thought I'd been fulfilling his fantasies.

I caught my breath, guided the tip of my dildo to his hole, and stroked his ass with one hand as I used the other to help the dildo press inside him. It was slow going; even though the fake cock wasn't my own, I could feel how tight he was, how he clenched around it even as he pushed backward. But finally the head was firmly in. I grabbed his cheeks in my hands. As I eased deeper inside him, I lowered my body until my breasts pressed into his warm back. To my amazement he begged for more, deeper, and gave a long, drawn out groan of pleasure when I bottomed out in his ass. As I started pumping, his groans grew louder. I squeezed my buttocks and pushed, then pulled them up a bit—and pretty soon the dildo felt like it was part of me. As Ross got hot with this new pleasure he started to sweat, and so did I from the exertion. "Do you want it?" I whispered in his ear as I pumped. "Harder," he responded, and pressed his ass into my hips. I drew back and thrust with all my strength and heard him cry out, but in a very good way. "Yes," he finally moaned, and I thrust into him again and again, taking his throbbing cock in my hand and stroking it at the same time I was stroking him. "Wait," he panted, and moved to switch positions, first rolling onto his side, and then onto his back.

He never let my strap-on cock slide out of him. I was both impressed and turned on.

He raised his legs up so his ass was free to me, me kneeling between his legs with my "cock" deep inside him. This was wild since it was a very familiar position, only it felt completely different on the other end! It drove us both wild. I continued to thrust into him and out again, timing my movements to his hard, urgent moans. I felt deliriously powerful and sexy, my naked body exposed to the air and slick with a sheen of sweat. I held the dong with one hand, keeping it firmly in his ass, and took his cock with my other hand. He came with a roar, pumping his cock in my hands and his ass onto my strap-on, and I'd never seen him orgasm with such ferocity. His head rolled from side to side and his arms grabbed my body to pull it close as I thrust with all my might into his delicious ass, his come spurting up between us in a rush of wet heat.

As we soaked up the afterglow, a worry crossed my mind. Had I been too harsh? Had it hurt? "Are you okay, baby?" I asked him. This time, it was he who reassured me. "I'm great," he answered, "it's exactly what I've been wanting—for a long time." And on that we had a good laugh, and passed out together in a sticky, satisfied heap.

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