Ask Laura & Larry for December
Dear Laura and Larry,
My wife and I would like to bring another woman into the bedroom for fun. Any advice on how to make this happen? Any rules you advise us to go by? Any websites you recommend for this? --One of Three
Laura's Response:
Dear One,
Begin with a lot of heavy role-playing by watching your favorite XXX movies and lingering on the threesome scenes. Then, you and your wife should make some decisions and set some rules ahead of time. You will have to decide how you want to find your third person--someone you know, or don't know? What's on the menu, and what's entirely off-limits? Be extremely clear on your communication so that if anything goes weird, you can stay connected emotionally. A really excellent guide to three-way sex with two girls and a guy (including how to make it happen) fills up a whole chapter in Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex. I highly recommend that you and your wife read this together. Since you specifically asked for two girls, also check out the DVD Nina Hartley's Guide for the BiCurious Woman. For seeking safe partners, consider finding a local organized swingers group. Organized groups offer ground rules, clear communication, and even planned events for couples to meet and mingle. Good luck!
Larry's Response:
Dear One,
First, congratulations! You've just qualified for Married Sex God for convincing your wife to indulge your erotic fantasy! But proceed with caution, because the ménage-a-trois in a relationship can be fraught with minefields.
My advice is to discover if your wife has any friends with a history of past indulgences of this sort, say a sorority sister or best-friend who might be willing to help you out. While there is a peril here that the friendship and the relationship will become confusing afterwards, if they are close enough and your marriage is strong enough than your night of passion may well actually strengthen both bonds - if you're lucky. On the other hand, inviting someone you both know to your bed can cause hurt feelings if not handled well. Three-ways are great, but not if they end a friendship - or a marriage (who am I kidding? They're still great!) An alternative to a friend or acquaintance is a stranger, of course. While you might consider a carefully-worded ad on Craig's List or a similar site, and then rigorously screen the applicants, that might seem like a lot of work. A more expensive but sure-fire way to do it is to invest in a Vegas vacation and find a beautiful, seasoned legal prostitute to indulge your erotic fantasy with! Indeed, letting your wife select the woman to share your bed, and getting an experienced player, could be well-worth the cost without inviting domestic discord. Or if you want to be really extravagant, fly to Amsterdam and cruise the Red Light district until you find the girl of your (plural) dreams!
Regardless of whether you go with a seasoned pro, on-line stranger or dear friend, there are a few things you should keep in mind when actually doing the deed. First be certain to pay equal attention to both ladies, not push your wife to the periphery in an effort to indulge yourself in fresh pussy, no matter how alluring. Similarly, be certain you understand just how much your wife wants to participate - is she bi-curious? Or does she just want to see you hump another chick? Having unrealistic expectations of your partner may well undermine your fun. Lastly, be certain to send your wife flowers afterwards - a big, expensive bouquet, maybe with some jewelry attached. A wife that loves you enough to overcome her insecurities like that needs to be rewarded for her bravery and passion. Doing some extra laundry couldn't hurt, either. Good luck!
Dear Laura and Larry,
My girlfriend always whips out a bottle of lube when we're having fun. I don't like it because I feel like if she was really into it, she'd be plenty wet, and we wouldn't need it. How can I be sure she's really turned on? --Sticky
Laura's Response:
Dear Sticky,
Prepare to be enlightened: Lube is your friend. Your woman is very smart to use it! Consider this: natural lubrication (her wetness) dries up in about 3 seconds, no matter how turned on she is! So does saliva. She does not want chafing down there! Her level of wetness may have nothing to do with her being turned on if she's dehydrated or just hopped out of the shower. Slicking up with lube has many benefits: keeps a condom from breaking, helps the sex last longer by reducing friction, can help prevent injuries to your penis (ouch!), and (with the right, glycerin-free lube) can help her avoid nasty infections. So learn to love the lube! A flavored lube like ID Juicy Lube can help make everything tasty and slippery with oral sex, a water-based lube like Wet Light is great for anything, and an anal lube like System JO is mandatory for butt play. Consider using some of the lube with your solo play--lasts longer than hand lotion and goes great with a masturbator. Spend plenty of time "warming up" your girlfriend, and understand that the lube just makes everything nicer.
Larry's Response:
Dear Sticky,
Not all women run like faucets when they're aroused, despite the popular misconception. Indeed vaginal wetness varies from woman to woman and changes over time or according to diet and hydration. It is not a reliable indicator of female arousal. Some women just don't get as mushy as others and prefer a little extra lube to ensure a delightful, friction-free experience. Your questioning her own pre-sex ritual would seem insensitive in that light. As far as whether or not she really is turned on . . . perhaps ask her? I mean, she's willing to have sex with you, which should count for a lot, and while you might not be the virile stud you imagine you are she's willing to put up with you anyway - count your blessings and quit dissing the lube!
Dear Laura and Larry,
My new man has a huge cock! He knows how to use it, too. The problem is, he wants me to give him oral, and I want to do so, but he's so huge, I can't get him in my mouth without dislocating my jaw. What do you recommend? --O-ring
Laura's Response,
Dear O-ring,
Congrats on having a well-hung man who knows how to use his equipment! As far as giving him oral sex without hurting yourself, well, there are several ways you can do this. Obviously, if he is wide enough that you can't get him all in, you will have to get creative! First, get some flavored lube so you won't have to slobber all over yourself and him (and it helps with the taste!): try out Doc's Cocktails. Next, slick up at least one of your hands, and make sure you are stroking his shaft while you focus your tongue action on the sensitive "military helmet" of his penis head. If you grip gently and stroke in time with your mouth action, he'll be loving it! Even better, making a "ring" with your thumb and first finger on one hand, and slide it down to the base of his wand. Keep it there, relatively firmly, while you stroke with the other hand and suck--it functions like a cock ring and can make for a wild orgasm when he lets go! A fabulous tip--get an open-ended masturbator (like the Super Head Honcho), slip it on him, and start stroking with it. The penis head will pop out the end, and you can focus your tongue action on that part. The masturbator will squeeze and stroke him--and it even warms up! Yowza! For an extra treat, get the Luscious Lips masturbator, which has a tongue stud! Good luck!
Larry's Response:
Dear O,
You have a few options, here. The first is to hire (or convince) a willing girlfriend to help you out - after all, two pairs of lips on his cock would more than make up for your inability to deep throat! The second option is to abandon the idea of taking him entirely inside your mouth and throat and focus instead on the sensations your lips, tongue, and hands can generate on his dick. Kissing and sucking and stroking are all quite possible (and extremely pleasurable) without dislocating your jaw. And while he might be disappointed at first, if you practice 3-4 times a week, he'll get over it. I promise. Good luck!