Start With What You Want to Try Together
There’s a particular kind of fun in choosing something together, bringing it home, and discovering what it adds to your relationship. Couples’ sex toys are designed for exactly that. Maybe you want to feel more of each other during sex, take turns being in control, or simply try something neither of you has experienced before.
Trying new things together doesn’t have to mean anything is missing. Sometimes, it’s simply a way to keep things feeling fresh and exciting. And there’s research behind that idea: Amy Muise and colleagues found across three studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that couples who took on new experiences which broadened what they did together reported higher desire and more satisfying sex, independent of mood, time spent together, or closeness on its own.
A quick way to narrow it down. Pick whichever of these sounds most like the two of you right now.
You want to feel it together during sex. Look at wearable couples vibrators that stay in place while you both keep your hands free.
You like the idea of handing over control. A wireless remote lets one partner control the experience from across the room, while an app can take that control even further, letting them adjust things from wherever they are.
One of you travels. App-connected toys can help bridge the distance, giving you a way to stay playful and connected when you’re not in the same place.
You are adding a first toy to sex you already enjoy. A small, external toy lets you experiment without having to change much about what already feels good.
You honestly do not know yet. A set or a surprise box lets you find out without committing to one idea.
Then have one good conversation about it. You don’t need to keep bringing it up or turn it into a big discussion. Research suggests that how couples talk about sex matters more for sexual satisfaction than how often they talk about it. A 2022 meta-analysis of 93 studies involving more than 38,000 people in relationships found exactly that.
So, pick a relaxed moment - not right before or after sex - and talk about what actually sounds fun to both of you. No pressure, no performance, and definitely no need to turn it into a summit meeting.
Bring your partner in on purpose. In a nationally representative US survey, a partner knowing about vibrator use and liking it was itself a predictor of sexual satisfaction. The same research found that some people had stayed quiet about it out of worry that it would hurt a partner's feelings.
If that is the hesitation in your house, a 2009 national survey of US men is worth knowing about. Among those who had used a vibrator, roughly 94 percent had used one with a partner. This is overwhelmingly something people do together.
Adam & Eve's own couples shopping guidance comes down to two lines that have held up well. Buy a toy with something in it for both of you, and do not spring it on them. If you want to browse before deciding, the sex toys for couples section is a good one to scroll side by side.
The Best Toys to Share, Picked for Your Play
Every pick below is made from silicone or silicone over a plastic housing, and all are compatible with water-based lube. Beyond those basics, they’re quite different from one another. So rather than getting lost in a list of specs, focus on what makes each one worth choosing.
Start with the three designed to sit between you during sex, so neither of you has to hold anything.
We-Vibe Sync. One of you wears it during sex, but both of you feel it, and your hands stay free. The adjustable hinge is designed to move with you rather than lock into one angle, making it easier to find a comfortable fit for both partners.
Two motors run independently, one in each arm, across 10 vibration modes. You can run it from the button on the toy, from a wireless remote up to 9 feet away, or from the We-Vibe app, which works over the internet when you are apart. We-Vibe describes it as whisper quiet, and it is waterproof and made without phthalates, BPA, or latex.
We-Vibe Chorus Pro. Squeeze the remote harder and the vibration gets stronger, which turns handing over the controls into something physical instead of a menu. The remote buzzes back at the same intensity, so whoever is holding it can feel what they are doing.
Three motors sit in the toy, one in the slimmer arm and two in the outer arm, with 10 vibration modes plus app-driven modes that respond to how you move. It is worn during sex like the Sync, it is waterproof, and it runs up to 120 minutes. The app reaches real distance, not just the next room.
Dame Eva. It stays in place with minimal effort, and because nothing goes inside, it keeps working through position changes without either of you having to stop and readjust it. Dame's own description is that it needs only the support of a fingertip or pressure between bodies to stay in place, which makes it the lowest-fuss hands-free option here.
The flexible arms tuck under the labia, the body is medical-grade silicone, and it is fully waterproof with three intensity levels. One button on the toy runs it, with no remote and no app, which is part of the appeal if you would rather not involve a phone. It’s in the same category as similar clitoral vibrators if you want to compare it with something similar.
Toys You Drive Together
Control is where a lot of couple’s guides go vague, so here is the plain version. Some toys have buttons on the toy and nothing else, and some add a wireless remote that works across a room, which is what most people picture when they hear remote controlled play.
A smaller group connects to an app, and that group is the only one that covers real distance. The three are not interchangeable, and knowing which one you are buying matters more than the mode count.
Adam & Eve Lucas II ring. The vibration sits right where two bodies meet, so it reaches both of you at once, and a wireless remote lets whoever is not wearing it change the pace. It is an easy way to add something you both feel without either of you holding a thing.
It is stretchy body-safe silicone with an internal diameter of 1.25 inches, ear-shaped ticklers and textured ribs on top, and 10 modes covering steady speeds and pulsing patterns. It runs up to 45 minutes on a charge, comfortably more than the 30-minute wear guidance further down, and the remote is a nearby one rather than a long-distance one. If rings are new to you, wider penis rings are worth a look for shape and fit.
Magic Wand Rechargeable. Depth of power, and a play that does not have to end because the battery did. The battery lasts up to three hours, and it can also be used while plugged in, so you don’t have to worry about it cutting out halfway through.
Four speeds and four patterns run from roughly 2,700 to 6,300 RPM, and the head bends and flexes to the body. At 13 inches with a silicone head, it reaches easily, and either of you can hold it, which makes it a natural warm-up toy and an easy one to pass back and forth. It also looks closer to a standard back massager than an adult toy.
Wash it off or spray it with a toy cleaner after use and store it separately from your other silicone toys. Compare its shape and size with similar wand massagers if you want a better sense of how it stacks up.
Dame Hug. Sizing is much less of a concern here. Two flexible arms wrap around you and adjust to fit, instead of requiring a closed ring to fit just right. It’s a more forgiving design, especially if you’re not sure what size you need.
A soft vibrating tip sits where it holds steady contact, there are five intensities, and the body is medical-grade silicone and hypoallergenic. It runs up to 60 minutes on a USB-C charge, and the buttons are on the toy, so whoever is not wearing it can reach over. Dame states that it is fully waterproof and condom compatible, and its guidance is to start on a gentler mode and build from there.
Satisfyer Pro Gen Liquid Air. It makes a pressure-wave sensation rather than a buzz, which is worth trying if buzzing has never done much for either of you. Two interchangeable tips change the character of it; one described as a pulsing showerhead and the other as indirect contact.
Two separate motors mean the air pressure and the vibration can run at the same time, across 11 pressure modes and 12 vibration modes. It is made completely from silicone, is waterproof for the shower or tub, and runs up to 2 hours. It connects to the free Satisfyer Connect app, which lets a partner take over from anywhere.
We-Vibe Tango X bullet. Small, quiet, and designed for deeper sensation rather than a buzzy feel, it’s easy to hold during sex without getting in the way. It’s a particularly easy first toy because you can add it to the sex you already enjoy without changing much.
It’s 4 inches tall and about two thirds of an inch wide, with an angled tip for precise contact and a secure silicone grip. There are 8 intensity levels and 7 modes, it is whisper quiet and waterproof, and a travel and privacy lock keeps it from switching on in a bag.
Everything is controlled from the buttons on the toy itself, so there’s no app or remote involved. If you want to see similar options, compare it with other bullets and eggs vibrators.
Wear-It-Out and Hands-Free Play
Wearing a toy out to dinner is a very different experience from wearing one during sex, and the designs reflect that. The first two below are made specifically for discreet, hands-free wear while you’re out.
Lovense Lush. Real distance, and the longest run time here. It’s worn internally, is ultra-quiet, and a partner in another city can control it through the free Lovense Remote app over the internet.
It runs up to 4.5 hours on a charge that takes about 85 minutes, which matters when it is being worn for a whole evening rather than a moment. The body is body-safe silicone with a curved shaft and a retrieval cord, and it’s waterproof for the shower or bath. The app can also build custom patterns or respond to sound and music.
We-Vibe Jive. Built for wearing out. The shaft bends and holds its shape, so it sits comfortably while you are standing, dancing, or just getting on with the evening. The handheld remote can switch the vibration off instantly, which is what makes wearing it out feel manageable rather than nerve-racking.
It has 10 speeds and patterns, a body made from body-safe silicone, plus it’s a waterproof vibrator. The remote itself is not waterproof, so keep that part dry. A full charge lasts up to 120 minutes, and the app lets you control it over the internet from miles away. If you want to compare it with similar options, look at other app controlled vibrators.
How the distance part actually works. The toy connects to your phone over Bluetooth, so your phone needs to stay nearby. The long-distance connection happens between your two phones through the internet, with the app relaying the controls between you. That’s how the Lovense Remote app handles long-distance play. Both of you need a signal, and if the connection drops, the toy stops rather than carrying on at the last setting.
Adam & Eve Four-Play vibrator set. You get four different sensations from one rechargeable base, which makes this a good option if you’re not yet sure what you like. Three of the four sleeves are worn, so most of the set can be used hands-free.
The base slides into a rabbit-style sleeve to hold a shaped body massager, a double ring, and a couples stimulator with an inner tail and an outer arm. The controls sit on the base and let you explore 10 speeds and patterns. It’s also splashproof rather than waterproof, so it is not one for the bath. If you want to compare it to similar multi-piece options, browse the sex toy kits category.
If one of you is wearing a ring. Limit it to 30 minutes at a time. That is the ceiling in Healthline's medically reviewed guidance. It also matches Dame's own instruction for Hug, and the same limit appears in the urology research behind it.
Take it off sooner if anything feels numb, cold, or painful, or if you notice discoloration or dramatic swelling, and do not fall asleep wearing one. Use water-based lube to get it on, and skip anything with a numbing additive, because numbness is exactly the signal you want to be able to feel.
Every ring on this page is stretchy or flexible silicone rather than rigid metal, which is the more forgiving and much easier to take off. If you take blood thinners, live with a heart, blood, nerve, or circulation condition, or have had an injury there, check with a doctor before using one.
Build the Whole Night
A toy is one part of the evening, not the whole plan. The couples who get the most out of them tend to let the experience start before the toy comes out and continue after it’s switched off.
Let the anticipation do some work. If you have chosen something with a remote or an app, hand it over before you need it. A toy worn out to dinner, or switched on from across a room, spends most of its evening building something rather than finishing it.
Water-based lube, every time. All eleven picks above specify it, and there’s a simple reason: silicone lube and silicone toys don’t always play well together. The lube can affect the toy’s surface, leaving it tacky or causing it to degrade, and washing it won’t reverse the damage.
Water-based lube avoids that entirely, and it is also the safe choice with latex condoms, which Cleveland Clinic notes can break when oil-based lubes are used. The rest of the lubes and sexual wellness category is worth a scroll while you are there.
Cleaning is quick. Use warm water and mild, unscented soap, or a dedicated toy cleaner, before and after each use. Healthline's care guidance for 100 percent silicone is liquid soap or a toy cleaner and then air drying, and it is explicit that nothing with a motor in it should be boiled.
Dry everything fully before tucking it away, because damp storage is an actual hygiene risk, and always keep silicone toys apart from each other. If you are passing one between you, the Sexual Medicine Society of North America recommends a fresh condom on the toy for each person.
A quick note on materials. Everything on this page is made from silicone or silicone over a plastic housing. Because silicone is non-porous, it doesn’t absorb bacteria the way porous materials can, so it’s easier to clean properly, a point Planned Parenthood makes in its own consumer guidance.
If neither of you can decide, let the box decide. Adam & Eve's mystery boxes are curated themed assortments, and the themes include couples and beginners. As an icebreaker it works nicely, because nobody has to be the one who picked, and you both find out what you respond to.
Think of it as one option rather than the place everyone needs to start. It can also make a fun gift, especially if you like the idea of making the unboxing part of the experience.
Want to skip straight to the choices? Start here. Find the one that sounds like the best fit for you two, then talk it over together.
Feel it together during sex. We-Vibe Sync if fit is the worry, We-Vibe Chorus Pro if the squeeze remote appeals, Dame Eva if you want nothing to go inside.
Hand over the controls in the room. Adam & Eve Lucas II for a ring you both feel, or the Chorus Pro remote if you want the handover to be playful.
Play across a distance. Lovense Lush for the longest wear, We-Vibe Jive for wearing out with an instant off switch.
Add a first toy without changing much. We-Vibe Tango X.
Want depth and staying power. Magic Wand Rechargeable.
Nervous about ring sizing. Dame Hug.
Try several before committing to one idea. The Adam & Eve Four-Play set, or a mystery box.
Whichever way you go, choose it together and give it a couple of tries before you decide what you think. When you want to see the whole range side by side, the couples sex toys collection spans wearables, rings, app-connected toys, kits, and plenty more worth trying together.
