When you first got together, you couldn't keep your hands off each other. Everything turned you on and you probably "christened" every room in the house. Once upon a time, a simple glance could get your engines revving. Now, though, things have dried up and that same spark just isn't there anymore.
If you care about your relationship, it's important to find that spark again. In fact, the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago found that "very happy" couples between 30 and 59 years of age had sex 60% more often than the couples who found their union "not too happy."
So how do you reignite the flames of passion? It's not as hard as you might think. Here are 5 tips that can help you get started.
Play to All Your Senses (And Not Just Sight)
We have so many senses with which to arouse, but most couples only use sight. Try lighting a sensuously scented candle to add olfactory ambiance. Start with a simple massage and focus on the sensation of touch. Take turns blindfolding one another or use a feather to lightly trace over your partner's body. Talk dirty to one another. You may be surprised how these small steps can turn "ho-hum" to "oh wow!"
Change up the routine
Too often, couples get stuck in a rut. You're tired from work. The kids need a bath. There's food to be made. Laundry is waiting. After all this, you're lucky to squeeze some passionless sex into the routine — strip, do a minute of foreplay and then have sex. Switch things up by sending your lover a sexy selfie or a naughty text out of the blue. Send them throughout the day and get progressively naughtier. When you finally see each other, you'll both be worked up and ready to go.
Exercise is a panacea — it's a cure for all sorts of ailments, not the least of which is a low sex drive. Whether it's hitting the gym, doing some laps in the pool or going for a run, exercise will get your blood pumping and your libido soaring.
Focus on your partner
Sometimes we tend to get too wrapped up in our own thoughts, which science tells us can be detrimental to a relationship. Pivot the focus from yourself to your partner. What are their best qualities? What do they do that warms your heart (or your private parts)? Not only will this get you out of your own head, but it's also been shown to increase dopamine, which in turn will boost your sex drive.
Embrace the power of hugs
They say hugs are vitamins for the soul. We say hugs are steroids for the libido. A typical hug lasts 3 seconds, but longer hugs of at least 20 seconds send waves of the bonding hormone oxytocin washing over your brain. As a result, you'll feel a closer connection with your partner, which means more meaningful sex.