Adam & Eve's Monthly Newsletter - May 2015 (Continued)
Sex Position of the Month (Continued):
The Leg Twister
This position is an advanced variant of missionary. It starts with the bottom partner lying down flat with their legs in the air. The top partner climbs on top of them on their hands and knees. The bottom partner then wraps their legs around the top's waist and twists their ankles together to help hold them in place. This position elevates the bottom partner's hips for deeper penetration. The additional support allows the bottom to hold this position for longer periods of time too.
A&E's Resident Sex Expert: Dr. Kat (Continued)
Your questions answered Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a board certified Clinical Sexologist and licensed Marriage Therapist. This month's question is…
Q&A: Masturbation for Her
Dear Dr. Kat,
My husband masturbates a lot. He really seems to enjoy it. I've never been into masturbating but he thinks if I did that it would really improve our sex life together. I'm now over 30 and feel a little stupid that I haven't masturbated much. I just feel kind of silly doing it now. Where would I even start?
Thank you,
Josie
Dear Josie,
Most men learn to masturbate at an early age because they routinely handle their penises. Women are taught little to nothing about their genitals, and often require guidance, information and permission to discover the wonders of masturbation. Getting to know your genital anatomy is the first step. Most women orgasm from stimulation of the clitoris, but others also enjoy vaginal penetration or G-Spot stimulation. Remember, there is no wrong way to masturbate; everyone is different!
Get Comfortable
• Relax as much as you can. Take a warm bath or have a glass of wine.
• Ensure your privacy: turn off the phone, lock the door, send the kids to a neighbor's.
• Find a comfy position. Most women start out lying on their backs, legs bent and spread apart, with feet on the ground.
• Remove most or all of your clothing.
Fantasize
• Recall an exciting past sexual encounter or elaborate on a favorite sexual fantasy.
• If you need a boost, look at a sexy magazine, read an erotic story, or watch an adult video.
• Allow your mind to explore any images-anything goes as long as it heightens your excitement.
Explore
• Run your hands along parts of your body, lingering along areas that are more responsive to touch than others.
• Look at your genitals in a mirror (especially if you're unfamiliar with them) and caress the different parts to see what feels especially good.
• Find and touch your inner and outer labia, your clitoris, your vagina and your perineum.
Touch
• Using one or two fingers, rhythmically stroke the different parts of your vulva, paying particular attention to your clitoris and labia.
• Experiment with different types of pressure, speed and motion. Try placing a finger on either side of the clitoris and stroking up and down, or placing two fingers on the clitoral hood and rubbing in a circular motion.
• Try different types of touch: stroke, tickle, knead, pinch, or lightly pull your genitals.
• Try using one or several fingers, the palm of your hand, even your knuckles.
• Learn to hold onto sexual excitement by building up and then reducing or temporarily stopping the stimulation.
• Pay attention to how your body is responding. It will tell you the particular stroke that feels best and when to pick up or slow down the tempo.
Breathe and Rock
• Breathe deeply rather than hold your breath. This helps release the sexual energy, rather than fight it.
• Rock your pelvis as you would during intercourse.
• Rhythmically clench and release your PC muscle (inserting a dildo can help).
Orgasm
• If your hand gets tired, give yourself a rest, switch hands, or try a vibrator.
• Take breaks-you can get accustomed to certain stimulation and start to feel numb. If you take a short break and start up again, you'll feel a fresh surge.
• If you're on the brink of orgasm, but can't quite get over the hump, try altering your breathing, or focusing on a really hot fantasy.
• Give yourself extra stimulation: caress your nipples, or try also thrusting your other fingers or a dildo in and out of your vagina.
• As you begin to orgasm, continue the stimulation through the orgasm. Lighten up on the stimulation during the first extremely sensitive moments but keep it going to enjoy those little pleasurable aftershocks.
• People describe orgasm in vastly different ways: like scratching a persistent itch, like embers that burst into flames, like a wave building up and finally crashing onto the shore. Your first orgasm may feel like a blip or a blast, but the more you practice, the more variety you will experience.
• Don't worry if you don't come on your first try, keep practicing, or try some of the variations below.
Variations
• Vibrators take some of the manual labor out of masturbation by providing direct, intense physical stimulation.
• Water helps many women learn to masturbate. Lie back with legs spread in a bath with a shower hose and direct the stream of water at your clitoris. Vary the pressure, the pulsation, and the temperature. Alternate methods: slide your butt over the drain so your legs are up in the air and your genitals are up under the tub faucet (rather awkward but do-able), use jacuzzi jets or even better, try the Bubble Love out.
• Use a toy to target your G-Spot.
• Rub against something-a pillow, the corner of some furniture, a dildo.
• Dildos can be a pleasurable accompaniment to clitoral masturbation, as they offer the fullness of penetration and can also stimulate the G-Spot.
Sincerely,
Check out Dr. Kat's monthly "Confessions" newsletter. It's full of tips, techniques and reviews of some of Adam & Eve's best products. Sign up here. It's that easy.
For a limited time, get Dr. Kat's newly revised book,
The Married Sex Solution: A Realistic Guide to Saving Your Sex Life
on Amazon for just $2.99. If you are looking for help to re-ignite the spark in your sex life,
this is the guide for people who hate self-help books. It's a no-brainer.
Electro-Stim Increases A Woman's Arousal & Pleasure! (Continued)
The studies examined women suffering from female sexual dysfunction (FSD). The dysfunction involves problems that interfer with normal sexual functions and satisfaction. While not directly connected to menopause, FSD is most likely to occur during middle age and affects between 40% and 45% of women. Weakening pelvic floor muscles, which impact how a woman orgasms, is one of the suspected causes of FSD.
Scientists belive that electro-stimulation, which can cause involuntary muscle contracts, can help rebuild and even streghten weakened pelvic floor muscles. Preliminary work shows promising results but research is still on going. If you'd like to see how electro-stim can affect your sex life, then you check out these toys: Shock Therapy Electro Sex Kit, Shock Therapy Nipple Clamps and the newest product we love from Jimmy Jane, Jimmy Jane Hello Touch X.
May Is Masturbation Month! (Continued)
Never heard of it? Celebrating May as Masturbation Month began in 1995, after Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders' suggestion that masturbation should be taught as part of sex education resulted in her being fired. In response, San Francisco sex toy outfit Good Vibrations declared May to be the month for all expressions of self-love, and began programs to educate and de-stigmatize masturbation.
Soon, lots of people stroked and flicked themselves onto the bandwagon. Adventurous participants could enter charity contests like Masturbate-A-Thons. One man even set a record, masturbating for 9 hours and 58 minutes!
Of course you don't have to try for a 10-hour best, but there are lots of ways you can do your own Masturbation Month celebrating. You might set a frequency challenge for yourself to masturbate once, twice, or three times a week - or even every day. Or you could go for a personal time challenge, where you start slow and draw out the experience until you can't help but explode. (Note: make sure to use plenty of lube for best results.) Guys can also go for distance and volume.
Or maybe you crave a wilder approach? Try masturbating in a way you've never tried before. Women, try and experiment with letting a wearable sex toy like a We-Vibe or a vibrating panty get you slowly worked up. Men, consider adding a plug or beads to add intense prostate stimulation to your routine. Not wild enough? Challenge your lover(s) and/or very open-minded friends and compare scores and stories.
Ready to ring in Masturbation Month the right way? Grab primo fantasy fuel for less with Adam & Eve movies, plus pick up the latest and greatest sex toys from makers like Fleshlight and Jimmyjane. And don't forget the lube - May would be a long month without it.