(continued)

Savvy Sex Questions with Dr. Jenni:

Dear Dr. Jenni,

My wife and I have been married for 17 years. We have two kids in late elementary school. Now that our kids are relatively self-reliant, and not yet in the crazy teen years, we have been having a lot more sex than we did even 5 years ago. It's been awesome!! But recently my wife is starting to slow down her interest and I feel like we are slipping back into the scarcity years. Any tips on how to keep up the interest and frequency we've mastered?

-- Keeping it Going

Dear Keeping it Going,

Congratulations on reclaiming your sexual vibrancy! That's not always an easy task. I also hear how you are understandably afraid of backpedaling into a lack of erotic contact. As a sex therapist, when I hear about a decline in sexual contact, I challenge both partners to ask themselves if they think they are putting their best foot forward? Meaning, are you both assuming responsibility for what you can control to turn on your partner? For example, are you inviting your partner to sex in a routine and dull manner, or with amor, playfulness, and/or creativity?

I'm also curious how you would rate the quality of your sex recently? We tend to trade in quality for quantity, and yet even an abundance of sex can get boring if we don't focus on quality. Quality sex means different things to different people. Do you know what gets your wife going? Does she crave diversity and new activities in the bedroom? Does she need more tending to the emotional components of your relationship? Does she enjoy being lusty and sharing fantasies and/or salaciously sexy (aka "dirty") talk? Does she need more time for relaxation and arousal building before hitting up the main course? Does she enjoy playing with sensation and power dynamics?

If you know the answers to these questions, you can creatively weave together alternative and novel sexual scripts and scenarios to enhance high-quality sex. If you don't know the answers, start with asking the questions!

Best of luck!

Warmly,

--Dr. Jenni

Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, CST
The Intimacy Institute
Sex and Relationship Therapy
www.TheIntimacyInstitute.org
(720) 331-3354

Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, CST is an AASECT certified sex therapist, sexologist, and licensed marriage and family therapist. Dr. Jenni originally pursued a career in sex therapy so to advance her mission for giving all people permission for pleasure by promoting sexual health and healing.

Dr. Jenni lives in Boulder, Colorado where she founded The Intimacy Institute for Sex & Relationship Therapy. She co-directs the clinic with her husband Daniel, also a sex therapist. Before moving to Boulder, Dr. Jenni served as a sexual health scholar at the Center of Excellence for Sexual Health (CESH) under the leadership of 16th U.S. Surgeon General.

When not working, you can find Dr. Jenni spending time with husband, their two young sons, and their backyard chickens. Dr. Jenni is passionate about all the World Health Organization (WHO) pillars of health, and therefore maintains a strong self-care practice that includes Crossfit, swimming, and slow walks in nature.

Cruise Ship Cash (continued)

The idea of working on a cruise ship seemed exciting. But by the time I applied, the only job still open was that of bartender. I figured, how hard could it be to pour a few drinks? I took the job gratefully, looking forward to some excitement on the high seas.

Training went fine, but my first night on duty was hectic. I poured and passed (and spilled) so many drinks that I thought my arm would fall off. It was fun, though. I got to chat with a few of the passengers, like Don, a fifty something silver fox, traveling with a group of other middle-aged men as part of a package deal for singles.

He was an outrageous flirt but I got the feeling that he was seriously making a pass at me.

My boss, Antoine, suggested with a wink that I be very 'nice' to Don and his friends as they were really big tippers. At first, I just laughed it off but later, Cherry, another bartender, confirmed my suspicions. She said that she was making up to an extra $500 a night in tips – by fucking the passengers. Antoine always set it up for her and his cut was only 20%. "What?" she said. "I make everyone happy; the customers, Antoine, and especially myself. You could do it too," she offered.

"Oh, not me. No way," I said. At first.

But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like an interesting idea. After all, I had taken the summer job to save up for my junior year in college. Extra money now meant fewer student loans later. And what could it hurt? Nobody on the cruise ship knew me as Michelle, the goody-two-shoes girl from back home. Here, I could be Missy, the sexy cruise ship bartender. I genuinely liked Don and his friends. They were just a group of happy-go-lucky guys, out for a good time.

The next night, Don was back. When he suggested that we meet after work, I told him that he would have to check out my schedule with Antoine. The deal was set and I was sent to Don's cabin at midnight.

I walked into the cabin and stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. Don chuckled when he realized that I had no idea what I was doing. He was paying by the hour and wanted to get started right away. First, he had me strip slowly while he laid back on the bed and stroked his erection. I tried my best to slowly peel off my uniform, and then my black bra, until I was just down to my panties. He admired my nicely-sized tits, flat belly and long legs. When I peeled my panties off, he joked about being able to tell that I was a natural redhead by my full, dark red bush.

It was all so nasty; sucking this man's prick for cash; but in a good way. It made me hot as hell. I went to work, licking the head of his engorged penis before sucking him into my mouth. Soon, he pulled me off of it and asked me to suck his balls. They felt soft to my tongue as I lapped them up. Again he stopped me.

He wanted to fuck. I crawled up onto the bed, took a deep breath, and lowered myself on to his cock. My breath caught. He was so big! His hands gripped my ass and before I knew it, he had sunk a finger deep into my backdoor. Asking me if I liked it, he continued to probe my butt as I fucked him. "Yes," I moaned, a little surprised to find that I did. Soon, he was sucking my bobbing tits, finger-fucking my ass and thrusting up into my pussy. I was surprised when I climaxed. I didn't think I'd be able to, but I came hard. That set him off and soon he was groaning and coming with rough jerks of his hips.

We spent the rest of the hour talking. Don asked if I would be interested in meeting some of his friends. I said I would love it. He kissed me good-bye with a promise to set it up with Antoine.

As I left, a few hundred dollars richer and well-fucked, I wondered how much money an enterprising girl could make in one summer.

The next night, Antoine had a surprise for me. A couple, Bob and Rita, wanted to engage my services for the evening. Antoine gave me the night off to have dinner with them and then "entertain" them for a couple of hours in their suite.

I'd never been with a woman before. Antoine said he had figured that and that it was a plus to these folks. I thought about it for a few minutes. Sure, I'd always been curious about it and I vaguely remembered Rita as being a cute forty-something blonde. Intrigued, I agreed and hurried off to dress for dinner.

Bob seated me next to him at dinner and we made small talk, getting to know each other. Rita startled me by giving me a long, sensuous kiss in the elevator as Bob pressed up against me from behind, his hands on my breasts.

Bob sat back and watched as his wife undressed me. She sucked on my nipples and nipped them slightly, making me shiver with delight. Removing my panties, Rita caressed my mound and nuzzled it. Leading me to the bed, Rita pushed me back and parted my thighs. Bob moved in close, playing with his hard cock as his wife dipped her head down to my snatch. I'd never felt anything like it. Soft tongue exploring my cunt, slender fingers gently probing my depths. Beside myself with lust, I begged him to let me suck his cock as his wife ate my pussy.

Obligingly, he brought it to my mouth and I swallowed his member, sucking it like a woman possessed. Meanwhile, Rita was lapping my clit. She nibbled it. She licked it. She rubbed it with her tongue and then sucked it into her mouth. I thought I would explode!

Bob moved to a chair and had me climb on his cock, with my back to his chest. My legs were on the outside of his and as I slowly rose and sank on to his stiff prick, Rita licked my clit and his member simultaneously. She licked me rapidly and my pussy tightened around Bob's erection as my climax rocked me.

Rita and I switched places and I got my first taste of pussy. She fucked her husband as I lapped up our mingled juices. Spreading her lips for me, Rita told me to lick it hard and I went for her button like a woman starving for pussy. She came, telling me what a good little cunt-lapper I was. We both finished Bob off with a frantic double sucking that left him gasping for air.

Two nights later, Don was back. He worked out a deal that included Cherry and myself and a friend of his named Rolly. Having discovered how delicious pussy could be, I was all for a session with Cherry, a towering, darkly-tanned beauty.

I was a little late getting to Don's room and Cherry was already busy sucking Don's cock as Rolly sat back, waiting for me. I quickly shed my clothes and went to work, teasing his huge prick with my tongue. Rolly was so excited that he came almost immediately. Don wasn't far behind him. Cherry sat back on her heels, grinning, and asked what they wanted to do next. Rolly was breathing hard when he suggested that Cherry and I have some girl fun.

Feeling aggressive, I pushed Cherry back on the bed and started kissing her. I sucked on her dark, rosy nipples until she moaned with desire. Slowly, I licked my way down her belly, eager to taste her delectable snatch. As I buried my tongue in her depths, Cherry went wild, wrapping her hands in my hair and pushing my face to her clit. I slurped up her wetness as she writhed on the bed. We moved into a classic 69. The guys called out encouragement as I ground my pussy into Cherry's questing tongue.

He drove into me again and again as Cherry and I continued to lick each other. Cherry came with a groan and I snuck my tongue into her tunnel, trying to lick up all of her sweetness.

Cherry slid out from under me to take a breather. Don positioned himself so that I could suck him off as Rolly continued to fuck my pussy. With each hard thrust from Rolly, my mouth engulfed Don's beautiful cock.

Cherry watched for a few minutes, rubbing herself and urging me to suck and fuck harder. She finally moaned that she needed to get fucked and Don obliged her, moving her close to me so that we could kiss and fondle each other's tits.

Rolly came first, shooting his load deep into my cunt. Don lasted only a minute longer, showering Cherry's pussy. For a finale, Cherry and I licked each other clean, each of us coming again.

I spent the rest of the cruise working my "side job" and having a ball. Not only did I save enough for that year's tuition but I also put back enough to pay for most of my housing needs off campus.

I've already promised Antoine that I'll be back next summer. In fact, I'll come back every year, for as long as he'll let me. After all, as a teacher, I'll have my summers free to play.