What Is the Bow Sex Position (Booty Bow Wow) and How Does It Work?
If you were looking for the bow sex position, you've found it, though the name can take a second to sort out. Adam & Eve calls this setup the Booty Bow Wow. It’s a side-lying, rear-entry position where one partner lies on their side at the very edge of the bed, and the other stands behind them.
(Note: This is distinct from the bow and arrow position, which is a completely different shape typically starting from a modified missionary with one leg lifted. If you pictured the bow and arrow, that's a separate setup.)
The Basics of the Shape
The bow position borrows the best parts of two familiar layouts: the rear-entry angle of doggy style combined with the relaxed, low-effort comfort of spooning, with the entering partner standing instead of lying down.
The Standing Partner: Controls the pacing and can easily hold the cheeks apart for clear visual or physical access to either the vagina or the anus.
The Side-Lying Partner: Has active control too. Rocking or swiveling the hips slightly changes both the entry angle and depth, as does closing or widening the gap between your bodies.
Built-In Depth Control for Anal Play
This natural depth control is why the bow position is a favorite beginner-friendly recommendation for anal play. Penetration stays inherently shallow by design, which many people prefer when starting out.
Because of this structure, it is not built for deep penetration. Trying to force extra depth works against the position's mechanics instead of with them. If you want to explore more options, our guide to the best anal sex positions covers the full lineup.
How to Set Up the Bow Position: Step-by-Step
The setup is simpler than it sounds, and most of it is furniture rather than technique. What you're aiming for is a height match, so the standing partner ends up level with their partner's hips without stooping down or stretching up to get there.
When the bed sits at roughly the standing partner's hip height, everything else falls into place without anyone straining. When it doesn't, you'll feel it in about ninety seconds, which is why this is worth checking first rather than discovering halfway through.
Work through it in this order, and take as long as you like on any one part of it.
- Check the height before anyone undresses. Have the standing partner stand at the edge of the bed and see where the mattress hits them. Hip height is the target, and a couch, a sturdy table edge, or a lower bed can work better than the bed you assumed you'd use.
- The receiving partner lies on their side, right at the very edge of the mattress, rear facing the edge, with knees drawn up a little toward the chest. Being genuinely at the edge matters more than it sounds, because a few extra inches of mattress puts the standing partner out of reach.
- The standing partner steps in close, feet planted about shoulder width apart, hips level with the receiving partner's hips. That stance gives them steady footing, so they can move from the hips instead of leaning over.
- Bring out the lubricant before anything gets close to the anus, and use more than feels necessary.
- Start shallow and slow, with the standing partner resting their hands on their partner's hip or holding the cheeks apart for a clearer angle. Let the first few movements be small, so both bodies have time to relax into it.
- The partner on their side adjusts from there by rocking, swiveling, or shifting closer to and farther from their partner. Those small shifts are what set the depth, and the person receiving is the one who decides how much of it there is.
- Keep talking. A simple "more," "less," or "hold there" is enough, and it's easier to say out loud in this position than in a lot of others, because your faces aren't buried in a pillow.
If the two of you don't line up on height, there's no need to push through it and hope. A cushion under the receiving partner's hips, a different piece of furniture, or a lower stance from the standing partner will each close the gap, and the next section covers which one to reach for.
Stopping to adjust partway through is an ordinary part of sex rather than a false start, so take the pause if you want it. None of this has to work perfectly on the first try.
Variations That Change the Angle and Depth
Small adjustments change this position more than you'd expect, since everything relies on two sets of hips finding the right alignment. Here is how to fine-tune the setup when something feels off, or when you're ready to switch things up.
When the Heights Don't Match: A firm cushion or wedge under the receiving partner's hips lifts them an inch or two, instantly turning an awkward angle into an easy one. Dedicated position aids hold their shape much better than regular bed pillows, which tend to flatten out under weight.
The Adam & Eve Inflatable Position Pillow lets you customize the firmness so you can fine-tune the exact lift you need. You can browse other wedges and shapes in our position aids at Adam & Eve category.
If the standing partner is too tall for the bed, kneeling on a low step or moving to a different surface solves the height mismatch from the other direction.
When You Want a Different Angle: Lifting or bending the receiving partner's top leg opens up the angle, giving the standing partner more room to work with.
Straightening both legs closes the angle back down, keeping things tighter and shallower.
Rolling the hips slightly forward or back shifts where the pressure lands and it's worth spending a few seconds experimenting to find your sweet spot.
When You'd Rather Use a Toy: The same angles and depth control work just as well with a toy or a hand, meaning this setup doesn't depend on any specific body part. In fact, many people prefer starting with a toy because it's easy to control, slow down, or stop. If you're building up to partnered penetration at your own pace, butt plugs and anal training kits are designed specifically for that gradual approach.
Keeping Back Comfort in Mind: While side-lying positions are often recommended as a gentle "one-size-fits-all" option for back pain, spine research from the University of Waterloo shows it isn't a universal fix. For partners whose lower backs flare up when bending forward, rear-entry positions, and focusing movement in the hips rather than the lower spine, offer a much more comfortable alternative. For the standing partner, the best rule of thumb is simple: move and hinge from the hips instead of rounding your lower back.
If you want something closer to the floor. Lazy Doggy is the nearest alternative, with both partners lying down instead of anyone standing. The Booty Bow Wow trades that flat layout for the edge-of-bed angle and the standing partner's leverage giving you a unique combination of leverage and depth control that you won't get from a standard floor position.
Consent, Comfort, and Safer Anal Play
Anal sex simply asks for a bit more preparation than other kinds of play, and good preparation makes all the difference.
Prioritize Lube (and Plenty of It): As the Cleveland Clinic notes, the body doesn't produce its own natural lubrication for anal play, and the internal tissue is thin and delicate. Using plenty of lube right from the start, and reapplying often rather than waiting until things feel dry, prevents friction and keeps everything comfortable.
Match Lube to Condoms: If condoms are part of your setup, material compatibility matters. Per CDC guidance, stick with water-based lubricants for latex condoms, as oil-based products (like petroleum jelly or lotions) can break down latex.
Switching Between Vaginal and Anal Play: Because this position puts both areas within easy reach, switching between them is simple but it requires a fresh condom every time. ing anal intercourse, changing to a clean condom when switching keeps safety front and center.
Tips for a Safe, Comfortable Experience:
- A relaxed body makes everything easier. Anxiety naturally causes the muscles to tighten up, making insertion much harder. Treating warm-ups, deep breathing, and unhurried pacing as practical necessities, rather than just nice extras, makes all the difference.
- Treat pain as a signal to stop. If discomfort increases or turns into sharp pain, pause or stop completely.
- Safety first with toys. Any toy used anally must feature a wide, secure base that stays entirely outside the body. It’s also best to avoid items with sharp ridges or anything excessively large when you're starting out.
- Agree on how you'll stop before you start. Pick a simple signal you both can use in the moment whether it's a specific word or a simple tap on the leg, so communication is effortless if anyone needs to slow down or stop.
Consent here is ongoing and specific rather than a single yes at the beginning. The person on their side controls depth and the person standing controls pace, so either of you can slow things down whenever you want to. Say what you want, ask what your partner wants, and treat a change of mind as completely normal. For the fuller picture, our guide to how to have anal sex walks through preparation and pacing in more depth.
What to Expect During Your First Try
The first attempt is usually about logistics, and that's not a sign anything went wrong. The opening minutes tend to go to figuring out bed height, how close to the edge is close enough, and where hands go. Plan for that, laugh about it, and treat the first round as a rehearsal rather than a performance. Once the height is sorted, this position tends to get easier fast, which is part of why we've rated it beginner-friendly.
Expect the sensation to be different from what deep penetration feels like, because this position is built to stay shallow. Some people love that and find it's exactly the intensity they wanted, while others would rather have a position with more depth available. Both reactions are normal, and either one tells you something useful about what you enjoy. What this position won't do is reward extra effort, since pushing for depth in a shape designed against it mostly just produces discomfort.
Go slower than feels necessary, especially for anal. Warming up first, using more lubricant than you think you need, and starting with a finger or a small toy before anything larger all make the difference between a good first time and a short one. If pain builds or doesn't let up, stop. Stopping early leaves the door open for next time, while pushing through tends to close it.
It also helps to take the pressure off the performance. There's no timeline or checklist here. If the two of you end up trying something completely different instead, that's a win, too. If you're carrying any lingering questions or hesitations, our guides on top anal sex tips and anal sex myths can help clear up the noise before you begin.
Shop Anal Sex Lubricant, Toys & Position Support
Three key things make anal play comfortable and enjoyable, starting with the one factor that isn't optional: lubricant.
Because the body doesn’t naturally lubricate for anal sex, you need a formula designed specifically for the job. Anal-specific formulas tend to be thicker and stay put longer.
Anal Lubricants: Explore our collection of specialized anal lubricants at Adam & Eve to start there.
Water-Based Options: If you want a formula that is compatible with latex condoms and washes off easily, browse our selection of water-based lubricants.
Safety Tip: If you plan on moving between vaginal and anal play, keep condoms within arm's reach so switching to a fresh one doesn't mean interrupting the moment to cross the room.
Support and Positioning
Height mismatches trip up a lot of first attempts. A supportive wedge or cushion from our position aids category fixes this instantly, making the angle work better and keeping the partner lying down comfortable for longer stretches.
Exploring at Your Own Pace
If you're building toward partnered anal penetration, starting solo gives you total control. Anal toys at Adam & Eve let you move at your own speed, and our guide to beginner anal sex toys breaks down what to look for starting with the golden rule: always choose a toy with a flared base that stays outside the body.
Take whichever piece of this you actually need, skip the rest, and go at the pace that feels right for you.
