What To Look For In A Prostate Massager
The best prostate massager isn't necessarily the biggest or most powerful. Shape and fit matter more. Look for a comfortable curve, a size that feels manageable, and a flared base, handle, or loop that gives you plenty of control.
A purpose-built prostate massager is designed to reach the prostate, which sits below the bladder and in front of the rectum. According to the Cleveland Clinic the prostate is about the size of a walnut and sits roughly two inches inside the anus, so you don't need a particularly long toy.
Safety is just as important as comfort. Any toy designed for anal use should have a flared base, handle, or other feature that keeps it from slipping completely inside. It's one feature you shouldn't compromise on when comparing prostate massagers.
Material matters, too. Nonporous materials such as silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass are easy to clean and make good choices for anal toys. Silicone is especially popular because it's soft, flexible, and straightforward to care for.
From there, it's about the features you actually want. Some prostate massagers are simple and hands-on, while others add vibration, remote controls, or adjustable settings. Start with the shape and size that feel right, then choose the extras that sound appealing.
How to Choose the Right Prostate Massager Size and Shape
When it comes to prostate massagers, you don't necessarily need a long toy. The prostate sits relatively close to the opening, so a shorter toy with a well-designed curve can be easier to use than a long, straight one. Look for a shape that curves toward the front of the body, where the prostate is located.
Width is another important consideration, especially if you're new to prostate play. A slimmer toy can be a more comfortable place to start, and you can move to a wider size later if you want more fullness. There's no reason to rush the process; the right size is simply the one that feels comfortable for you.
If you'd like to try different sizes, a graduated set can take some of the guesswork out of choosing. The Adam & Eve Intro To Prostate Kit, for example, includes four silicone pieces in gradually increasing sizes, with a flared base or loop on each one. That lets you start with a smaller option and work your way up at your own pace.
A good handle, finger loop, or wide base is useful, too. It gives you something secure to hold onto while you're positioning the toy and makes it easier to control the angle and movement.
Choosing Between Manual, Vibrating, and Hands-Free Prostate Massagers
Nearly every prostate massager falls into one of three groups, and picking between them comes down to how much you want to be doing with your hands.
Let's start with the manual ones. A massager that doesn't vibrate puts all of the pressure and rhythm in your hands, so you can slow down, hold still, and notice what feels good rather than what a motor is doing. The Silicone Prostate Probe is a simple and easy toy to start with to find out whether you enjoy prostate stimulation before spending more on a vibrating toy. There's nothing to charge and nothing to figure out, and you set the pace from start to finish.
Vibrating massagers add sensation you don't have to generate yourself, and more advanced options not only stimulate the prostate, but the perineum as well. The Adam & Eve 3 Point Prostate Massager is just one example. It's made from hypoallergenic silicone and measures 5.25 inches long and 1.5 inches wide. It has two motors: one inside the contoured shaft and another in the flexible arm that rests against the perineum.
That external arm does real work. The International Society for Sexual Medicine notes that pressure on the perineum, the area between the scrotum and the anus, stimulates the prostate indirectly, so a toy that covers both adds to the sensations.
Hands-free and remote designs are a good option if you want to enjoy a prostate massager without having to hold it the whole time. Hands-free models are shaped to stay in place, while remote-controlled versions let you or a partner adjust the vibration without reaching for the toy. Some combine both features, so the toy stays put while you control the intensity from a remote or app.
Here's how the different types compare, depending on what you're looking for:
If you're figuring out what feels good: A manual massager puts you in control of the pressure, angle, and pace, making it a straightforward way to explore different sensations.
If you want more stimulation without more effort: A vibrating massager adds consistent stimulation while you relax. Some also have a flexible perineum arm, giving you internal and external stimulation at the same time.
If you'd like to share control: A wearable or remote-controlled massager lets you put the controls in your partner's hands. Some can also be controlled through an app, giving you more flexibility over how and where you use them.
You can also use features such as rechargeable power, waterproofing, remote control, and app control to narrow down the options and find a design that fits the way you want to use it.
How to Stay Comfortable With Prostate Play
Let us be honest: lube is the absolute MVP here. Because the body does not naturally lubricate the anus, lube is literally the only thing standing between comfortable prostate play and an unpleasant friction disaster.
The golden rule? Use way more than you think you need, and plan to reapply halfway through instead of just slapping some on at the start.
Choosing the Right Lube for Your Toys
Water-based vs. Silicone: Both are widely recommended for general anal play. However, skip oil-based lubes entirely if you are using latex condoms, as oil breaks latex down fast.
Toy compatibility check: Always check the manufacturer's guidance before pairing silicone lube with silicone toys. Many popular prostate massagers require water-based formulas to protect the material, so check the label before stocking up.
Pacing and Communication
Pace matters just as much as lube. Taking your time transforms the experience completely:
Warm up first: Start with external touch before attempting any insertion.
Go slow: Take your time, breathe, and give your body a moment to fully relax before making any movements.
Try external pressure: If you aren't ready for insertion, external pressure on the perineum feels amazing on its own, and it is the exact kind of indirect stimulation that dual-arm massagers are designed for.
When a partner is involved, communication keeps things safe and fun. Treat checking in as part of the pleasure, not an interruption. If something hurts, stop immediately. Pain is just valuable feedback, not a hurdle to push through.
Cleaning, Storage, and Safety
Taking care of a prostate toy is pretty simple. Wash it thoroughly with warm, soapy water after each use, then use a toy cleaner if the manufacturer recommends one. Silicone is especially easy to clean because it's nonporous and doesn't absorb moisture. Let the toy dry completely before storing it, and always check the product instructions before putting it in water, since “waterproof” and “water-resistant” aren't the same thing.
Storage matters, too. Once the toy is clean and completely dry, keep it somewhere clean and dry where it won't pick up lint or come into contact with other materials that could damage it. Follow the manufacturer's care instructions if they call for anything specific.
As for when to talk to a doctor, keep it simple: if you have a prostate condition, recently had surgery in the area, or are experiencing symptoms such as pain or bleeding, check with your doctor before trying prostate play. And if something hurts while you're using a toy, stop. Prostate massagers are designed for pleasure, not to treat a medical condition, so there's no reason to push through discomfort.
Shop Prostate Massagers and Prostate Toys at Adam & Eve
Once you have an idea of what you're looking for, compare the toys by their shape, size, and features. A curved toy is designed to target the prostate, while different widths and lengths let you choose what feels comfortable. You can also decide whether you want a toy you control yourself, one that vibrates on its own, or a remote-controlled option a partner can operate.
If you're new to prostate toys, a set with graduated sizes and flared bases can make it easier to start small and see what you like. Once you know what feels comfortable, you can explore vibrating, remote-controlled, and other designs with more features.
Don't forget the basics while you're shopping. You'll want plenty of lubricant, and water-based lube is a good choice for silicone toys unless the manufacturer says otherwise. A toy cleaner can also make cleanup easier.