The Short Answer on Beginner-Friendly Sex Positions
Looking for the best sex positions for beginners? Missionary, spooning or side-lying, partner-on-top, and side-by-side are popular starting points because they make it easier for the partner being penetrated to control depth, angle, and pace. They also leave room to pause, communicate, or adjust as you go, which can make trying something new feel a little less intimidating.
And penetration isn't the only option! Non-penetrative touch and mutual masturbation can also be great starting points, particularly when anatomy, mobility, or comfort levels make certain positions less practical. A little lubricant can help reduce friction, too, while changing positions or adjusting your approach may help ease discomfort.
Some awkwardness while you're figuring things out? Completely normal. New, worsening, or persistent pain during sex, however, is a reason to check in with a healthcare provider.
What Makes a Sex Position Good for Beginners
A good beginner-friendly sex position comes down to a couple of things: feeling in control and being able to make adjustments without turning the moment into a whole production. The partner being penetrated should be able to influence depth and pace, and both partners should feel comfortable pausing, talking, or shifting as needed. Eye contact can play a role, too. Some people find it reassuring, while others feel more relaxed in a position like spooning, where you can stay close without being face-to-face.
And here's the thing: you don't necessarily need to switch positions to get more comfortable. Sometimes, a small tweak is all it takes. Moving a leg, scooting forward or back, or slipping a pillow under the hips can change the angle or depth and help ease discomfort. Try those little adjustments first, and give yourselves room to figure out what feels good without overthinking every move.
Positions Worth Starting With
Missionary has one partner lying down and the other on top, facing them. The closeness makes it easy to talk, make eye contact, and read each other's reactions as you go. The partner on top typically sets the pace and depth, and a pillow under the hips or a small shift in leg position can change the angle without either of you moving far.
Spooning or side-lying has both partners lying on their sides, one behind the other. It takes less physical effort to hold, which can help if either of you tires easily or has mobility issues to consider. Facing the same direction instead of each other offers a more relaxed option for anyone who finds sustained eye contact overwhelming, while the partner being penetrated can control depth by shifting their hips forward or back.
Partner-on-top has the partner being penetrated sitting or kneeling over the other, which puts control over depth, angle, and rhythm directly in their hands through their own movement. It also frees the other partner's hands for touch instead of for bracing or steadying.
Side-by-side, facing each other or front-to-back with legs intertwined, keeps things unhurried and takes weight off both of you, so it's easy to stay in for a while or to talk through what's working.
Non-penetrative touch or mutual masturbation belongs on this list as its own comfortable starting point, especially as a first step when you'd rather begin without penetration.
Which one feels right comes down to what you and a partner want control over in the moment: eye contact, how much either of you has to move, or who's setting the pace.
Consent, Comfort, and Checking In
Feeling comfortable starts with being able to speak up, ask questions, and know that your partner is listening. UC Riverside's CARE Program recommends asking directly, with something as simple as "Is this okay?" or "Does this feel good?" Consent holds for the whole encounter, and either person can change their mind at any point. When someone says no, pauses, or seems hesitant, stop and check in right then. Once that's been heard and accepted, you can decide together, with no pressure attached, whether to adjust something, try something different, or stop for now.
Comfort also means paying attention to how your body feels. Cleveland Clinic recommends a water or silicone-based lubricant to cut down on friction, especially when dryness is part of what's making sex uncomfortable. Changing positions or making small adjustments to the one you're already in may also help ease pain. A pillow or rolled towel under the hips can change the angle of penetration, so keeping one nearby might come in handy. Sometimes, a little adjustment makes all the difference.
What If Things Feel Awkward or Uncomfortable?
There's no need to work your way through every beginner-friendly sex position or graduate to something more complicated. If you find one or two positions you enjoy, that's perfectly fine! Trying something new can come with a little awkwardness, whether you're figuring out where to put a leg, getting comfortable with the logistics, or laughing when things don't go quite as planned. That's all part of getting to know each other, and it can get easier with time and communication.
Pain, though, is something to pay attention to. If sex causes new, worsening, or persistent pain, stop and talk about what's happening rather than trying to push through it. Cleveland Clinic recommends contacting a healthcare provider about pain during sex, especially when it continues or gets worse.
Want To Get A Little More Comfortable?
Once you've found a position or two that works for you, a few simple additions can help make things even more comfortable. Liberator Position Aids including pillows and wedges, can support your body, prop up your hips, and help you find an angle that feels right without constantly readjusting. And if friction or dryness is an issue, a water or silicone-based lubricant can help things feel more comfortable, whatever position you choose. You can explore options in our Liberator Position Aids and Sex Lubes category to find what works for you.