Chapter 4: How to Masturbate for Maximum Pleasure

Masturbation can feel good, but if you’ve never tried it before, you might not know what to expect, and that’s completely normal. There’s no right or wrong way to explore what feels good to you. Let go of the myths, take your time, and give yourself permission to be curious without any pressure to get it right.

According to Cleveland Clinic, research has never shown that masturbation causes vision loss, hairy palms, infertility, erectile dysfunction, lowered libido, or any change in the size or shape of the penis. Those are all myths. The same source points to real benefits instead: masturbation can reduce stress and improve sleep due to the effects tied to the dopamine and oxytocin your body releases at orgasm.

How often someone masturbates can also varies enormously. A 2022 nationally representative survey by Herbenick and colleagues, found that about 60 percent of men and 36.5 percent of women reported masturbating in the past month. Some people masturbate regularly, while others rarely do or not at all. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to how often you do it. Masturbating isn't a consolation prize for when partnered sex isn't available, either. Many people enjoy it as its own thing, on its own schedule, whether or not they are also having partnered sex.

More pleasure usually comes from slowing down before you get to the most sensitive spot and not rushing straight to it. Spend a few minutes on whatever gets you in the mood first, whether that is touch, fantasy, or simply paying attention to how your body is already responding.

For women wanting to stimulate the clitoris, starting with broader, indirect pressure around the area rather than pressing straight onto it can feel better before building toward anything more focused. Circling around the clitoris instead of bearing down directly, and combining clitoral touch with vaginal stimulation, are both ways people vary the sensation. Everyone is different, so take your time figuring out what feels good to you. One reason gentle or indirect contact can matter: researchers at Oregon Health and Science University found that human clitoral tissue contains more than 10,000 nerve fibers, well above the long-quoted estimate of 8,000. Because the area is so sensitive, direct pressure can feel intense at first, especially if you’re not fully aroused yet.

For men, changing your grip, pressure, rhythm, and position tends to do more for sensation than repeating one fixed motion. There is no single right pace, pressure, or grip to aim for. The point is finding what your body responds to, not following a formula.

Want to add something new to the mix? A toy or lubricant can be a straightforward way to do it. None of these are required for good masturbation. They're simply options if you're curious.

A masturbation sleeve is a soft, textured sleeve that fits over the penis, adding grip and texture variety beyond what a hand alone provides. The masturbation sleeve category covers several styles, and realistic masturbators are worth a look if you want something shaped closer to a body.

A clit vibrator stimulates the clitoris directly, and designs range from broad, cushioned heads to more focused tips depending on how much pressure or precision you prefer. The clit vibrator category is a good place to compare them.

A rabbit vibrator pairs a shaft for vaginal penetration with a separate arm that reaches the clitoris, so it stimulates the vagina and clitoris at the same time. Rabbit vibrators are an option if you like combining both kinds of touch.

A realistic dildo gives you control over shape, depth, and pace for penetration, without a motor involved. The dildo category has a range of sizes and styles.

A water-based lubricant cuts down on friction for any of the above, or for masturbation with just your hands, and it is generally the safer choice to pair with silicone toys. Lube options are worth browsing if you don't already have one you like.

It’s easier to relax when you feel comfortable and know you have some privacy. That might mean closing the door, choosing a time when you’re unlikely to be interrupted, or putting on headphones. Find a space where you can feel at ease and take your time.

Your physical comfort matters, too. Find a position that feels natural, and consider keeping lubricant nearby to reduce friction if you need it. If something feels uncomfortable, try adjusting your touch, changing positions, or taking a break. You don't need to keep going if something doesn't feel right.

Keeping things clean is straightforward. Wash your hands before and after, and clean any sex toys according to their instructions. Warm water is usually enough for washing the external genital area; if you use soap, choose something mild and fragrance-free. Avoid putting soap inside the vagina or other sensitive internal areas.

Masturbation should fit comfortably into your life, not get in the way of it. If you find yourself regularly missing work, cancelling plans, or struggling to keep up with everyday responsibilities because of it, consider talking with a healthcare professional. There's no need to feel embarrassed about asking for support.

Sometimes, you get used to doing things a certain way. If it doesn't feel as good as it used to, try switching things up a little.

Spending time on other erogenous zones, your nipples, inner thighs, neck, or ears, before heading straight for the genitals can build arousal that makes everything after feel more intense. Switching which hand you use, or changing your grip and rhythm partway through, interrupts a pattern your body has memorized. Changing the setting helps too: a different room, a different time of day, in the shower, or with music on instead of silence.

If you always grab the exact same toy or fall into the exact same routine, things can start to feel a little predictable. Mixing it up with a new technique, a fresh toy, or even just skipping your usual go-to can help wake up sensations that might have faded into the background.

The same thing goes for leaning on porn every single time. If your routine has started to depend on having a screen playing in the background, it can be super refreshing to step back and experiment with your own imagination or pure touch alone.

Edging is another technique some people use to change things up: bringing yourself close to orgasm, then pausing or slowing down before you get there, and repeating that a few times before finally finishing. Some people find it intensifies the eventual orgasm, though that is an individual preference rather than something guaranteed to happen for everyone.

If anything here made you curious to try a toy, Adam & Eve's full sex toy selection covers all of it: masturbation sleeves and realistic masturbators, clitoral and rabbit vibrators, dildos, and lubricant, all in one place. Take your time exploring and start wherever your curiosity leads you. There's no right or wrong place to begin. Just choose what feels right for you.