A&E's Resident Sex Expert: Dr. Kat (continued)

Your questions answered Dr. Kat Van Kirk, an AASECT certified Sex Therapist and licensed Marriage Therapist. This month's question is…

Q&A: Tie Me Up/Tie Me Down

Dear Dr. Kat,

I used to always think that S&M was for freaks but girlfriend keeps running the idea by me. Specifically, tying one another up. I'm a little freaked because I've never done it and I wonder if it's "healthy" for us to engage in. Any tips?

Thank you,

Sincerely,
Wesley

Hi Wesley,

Despite the success of Fifty Shades of Grey, there are misconceptions that abound when it comes to BDSM (bondage discipline sado-masochism). Most people don't even know the differences in terms.

Power play, S/M, sado-masochism, B&D, bondage and discipline, BDSM, dominant/submissive – there are many names and variations of behavior associated with this variety of sexual play. But there are also differences between these terms. Sado-masochism (or S/M) is actually a sexual orientation some people ascribe to in which partners explore sensations including pain while testing the power dynamics of their relationship. Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person. Masochism is pleasure derived from physical or psychological pain inflicted on oneself either by oneself or by others. The words are derived from the name of the Marquis de Sade, a prolific French writer of sadistic novels.

Despite what you might think, these behaviors aren't about inflicting pain. They are about an exchange of power and control between partners that is negotiated and done in a healthy way. For instance, the "bottom" or who is experiencing the sensation, always calls the shots in regards to what behaviors are welcome and how long to engage with them. That's why a safe word is always used. This word stops play at an instant.

There are a whole spectrum of behaviors you can experiment with. Everything from light tying up, to flagellation, to spanking and wax play. Discuss with your partner what behaviors most are most attractive to her. And then start slow and light working your way up to where her edge is and vice versa.

The whole point is that this is experimentation. It's not something you have to do every time you have sex, but it can increase arousal and spontaneity and some research has shown that couples that incorporate BDSM, actually have better communication skills and increased emotional intimacy as well. So it might be worth giving it a shot.

Valentine's Day is right around the corner…

Happy Holidays,

Keep in touch with Dr. Kat:

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Dr. Kat Van Kirk is a licensed marriage and sex therapist. She is the resident sex expert for adamandeve.com. Find out more at DrKat.com

Guilty Pleasures: Erotic Fiction (continued)

Double Treat

Robert writes to tell us about an adventure during spring break that got a little weird. So weird, in fact, he's not sure he's going to be able to tell the other guys about it. -- The Editors

I couldn't believe it. It was the perfect score. It was the last day of my week in Florida during spring break, and so far it had been zero in the Girl Department. Lots of sun, but no girls. Then two of them, Sheryl and Lori.

I was lying on my towel on the beach, looking not bad with my shades, a tasteful Celtic tat around one of my biceps, and body toned up with some weight work, when I noticed them on a blanket over to my left. They saw me looking their way, walked over, and asked if I could help them take a picture with Lori's phone, as it was too hard to shoot a selfie in the bright sun. I said sure.

Sheryl had black hair, cut short, a cute upturned nose, round face, and a short, full figure. She had on a black two-piece bathing suit. She filled it up pretty well. Lori had thick red hair down to the middle of her back and beautiful copper-colored skin set off by a turquoise bikini. She had a nice shape, but was not as full-figured as Sheryl.

We chatted about college and other stuff. They were also down for spring break, soaking up some sun.

Then they let it drop. Sheryl glanced at Lori, got a nod, and then said, "How would you like to come back to our room for a while and cool off? Our motel is just up the beach."

Two chicks. Fantastic. And obviously willing. The "Get Lucky" song from the summer before went through my head. Things are really going to happen now. I hoped.

We entered the room together. Sheryl went into the bathroom to shower, while Lori got some beers out of a small refrigerator. I lay down on the bed and accepted a beer. Sheryl came out of the shower wearing a terry-cloth robe and Lori went in to shower. When she came out, also in a robe, she tossed me a towel, saying "It's your turn, sport!"

When I came out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around me they were on the bed in their robes, giggling. I came near the bed and Sheryl reached over and yanked the towel off. I hoped they liked what they saw. I jumped on the bed. Lori pushed me down on my back and Sheryl leaned over me, her tits almost falling out of her robe.

"We want to show you a nice time, Robert, but you have to do it our way," she said seriously.

"Sure," I said, "anything you want. Say the word."

"First you have to agree to do everything we say. And, in order to make sure you keep your agreement, you have to let us tie you up. We won't hurt you, but you have to let us do anything we want to you," Sheryl explained, leaning a bit more forward so that her breasts came out of her and hung over me.

"If you don't want to play by these rules, you can leave now," she continued. "If you do want to play by the rules, we'll show you a time you'll never forget."

Since nothing else happened all week, I figured sure, why not get tied up by two total strangers with hot bodies?

"OK," I replied. "Let's go."

"Goody," said Lori, bouncing up and down on the bed. "He's going to play!"

With that, they both removed the cloth belts from their robes, letting them fall off. Lori tied her belt around my legs, while Sheryl turned me onto my side and tied my hands behind my back.

Rolling me onto my back again, Sheryl said, "Let's see what this fellow has here," taking my prick in one hand and balls in the other.

"I got it up, Lori," Sheryl said.

"Good," Lori replied. "Let me play with it for a while."

Lori took over, pulling up and down on my prick while Sheryl had a beer and checked her phone. Boy, this was weird. This was was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me. But as long as they were pulling on my Johnson, I wasn't going to complain.

Sheryl finally finished her beer. It was a tall boy.

"Hand me the latex gloves, Lori," Sheryl commanded.

"Latex gloves!?" I asked. "What are you going to do with those?"

"No questions," Sheryl said abruptly. "We can untie you and throw you out right now. If you want to play, you just keep quiet until we tell you to talk, OK?"

I nodded. I kept quiet. Lori produced a pair of disposable latex gloves. Sheryl put them on, making loud snapping sounds. Then she added a lot of lube from a tube. It even said "Adam & Eve" on the bottle.

"Turn him over, Lori, Sheryl instructed. "I want to check him out inside."

Inside. Inside? Inside! What does this stuff mean, I wondered as Lori rolled me over. Now I think I knew what the gloves were all about. Sheryl worked a finger into my anus. What the? What had I gotten myself into? What were these two otherwise normal-looking girls all about?

A second finger followed and then she started to move them around, very slowly. Hey! She was massaging my prostate. That didn't feel bad. As a matter of fact, it felt good. I could feel my dick responding, now pressed flat up against my stomach by the mattress, begin to pulsate and throb with the motion of each finger. Not able to help myself, I moaned and then grunted as her pressure on my prostate made me come.

"I got him off, Lori, I got him off good," Sheryl announced proudly.

The two of them quickly turned me onto my back once more. My erection was losing its stiffness.

"Quick, Lori, don't let him lose it. Get him up again," ordered Sheryl.

Lori bent over and took my throbbing tool into her mouth without using her hands. Sucking on it, she worked it up to a stiff erection again.

"Climb on!" said Sheryl in a hoarse whisper. She slipped off her gloves, swung a leg over my head, and sat on my face. Lori squatted over my pole and came down so hard it went inside her in one swift motion.

Pussy at last! I thought. After all the weird stuff, I'm finally inside some sweet pussy.

Sheryl and Lori embraced and hugged each other over me, one on my face and one on my dick. Lori rocked back and forth on my bone while Sheryl positioned herself so I could aim my tongue at her clit.

"Lick away," she dictated, and I did.

As weird as it was, it was also great having these two ladies on top of me. Hugging and kissing, they ignored me, greedily working up their own pleasure.

Then it became clear to me. Sheryl and Lori were really interested only in each other. They were using me to get off together. They had probably been picking up guys all week and going through this same number! Gloves and all!

Well, I wasn’t going to let it bother me. I was with a pair of hot looking babes (even if they were weird) in a motel room in Florida with one sitting on my smiling face and one sitting on my resuscitated hard-on. Things could be worse, you know? Then I thought the thing to do is just be in the moment and really get into what I have going on here.

Sheryl's pubes was short and thin, leaving most of her plump, firm lips exposed. She was wet inside and my tongue was enjoying it all. She alternately positioned herself so that I could get my tongue inside and lick.

Lori was really swinging her hips now, her body grabbing my cock. And the two of them hugging and kissing each other was turning me on even more. Even though I had come earlier, it was all too much and I felt I was going to unload again. Lori sensed this and declared:

"He's going to come."

They held each other tight as I gave out a muffled grunt and exploded like a pornstar straight up into Lori. They both came and my face was soaked.

"Well, sport," said Sheryl as they untied me, "were we as good as our word? Did we show you the best time you ever had in bed with two hotties?"

Not wanting to admit that it was the ONLY time I had ever been with two chicks, I replied:

"Yep. The best time ever…"

-- Robert T.

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