Adam & Eve's Monthly Newsletter - February 2016 (continued)
A&E's Resident Sex Expert: Dr. Kat (continued)
Your questions answered Dr. Kat Van Kirk, an AASECT certified Sex Therapist and licensed Marriage Therapist. This month's question is…
Q&A: Blowing Your Lover's Mind this Valentine's Day
Dear Dr. Kat,
My wife and I have been together for six years. We never had to put much effort into our sex life. That is until we had our son two years ago. Now we're lucky to have sex once a month and it tends to be the same way every time. We both deserve a better sex life. She says she wants that too, but we don't know where to begin post baby. It's like there is never time, or we're just too tired. I decided that my gift to her this Valentine's would be to begin reclaiming our sex life, but I need some inspiration. What do you think?
Happy Holidays,
Phillip
Dear Phillip,
Good for you both! Yes, everyone does deserve a good sex life. It might be a different type of "good" post kiddos but there are plenty of reasons to partake even beyond how good it feels.
Research shows that staying connected physically improves communication, relationship satisfaction, reduces stress and improves overall health and wellness. Everyone needs a little kick start every now and then and Valentine's Day is the perfect excuse to invest in intimacy with your partner. Here are some tips to blow her away on V-Day.
• Focus on the sensual. It didn't just have to be about sex but about sensation. Here are a couple of products to help you make that happen:
Trio Of Love Massage Candles
Indulge in some super-sexy pampering with this set of three scented massage candles! Just light, melt, and use wax made with Vitamin E, Soy, and Hemp to soothe, arouse, and moisturize skin.
Wicked Ultra Warming Lubricant
Add heat to your fire with Wicked Ultra Heat Warming Lubricant. A unique combination of 100% pure silicone plus all natural extracts of cinnamon and vanilla work together for a sensual warming sensation.
• Line up a babysitter and make it a regular thing. Embrace that sitters can be an investment in your couplehood. You don't need to be a martyr.
• Get it going with touch. Linger in how her skin feels. Use massage to relax and arouse.
• Banish electronic devices from bed. Show her that you don't need distractions.
• Make sure that you are both getting the stimulation you need. Spontaneity and variety can make all the difference in the long run.
• Bedroom makeover. Ok, so maybe she doesn't want you in charge of the redecorating. But what about getting her a gift certificate to buy sexy, high quality sheets and some sensual artwork. Aromatherapy can be helpful to relax and associate with getting into a sexy mood.
• Start with Valentine's morning. Sex hormones are highest for both men and women in the morning. Plus, we tend to feel fresher in the AM. Wake up 20 minutes earlier than her and really surprise her. Then, make it a part of your new routine. Even sneaky shower sex can be worth it.
Good luck, enjoy your day and allow it to get you both started on a brand new foot for the rest of the year when it comes to sex.
Sincerely,
Keep in touch with Dr. Kat:
Sex Chat with Dr. Kat and Her Gay Boyfriend has NEW episodes on iTunes! Comedian Ross Martineau and I chat over cocktails while we answer questions, discuss lifestyle, dating, self-empowerment, adult products, celebrity sex and relationship buzz and frankly somewhat embarrassing personal anecdotes. Sex Chat is bite size (about 20-30 mins) and is perfect for your commute or while you are gently sobbing doing housework with a truffle in your mouth.
5 Ways To Wow Your Valentine! (continued)
But in the meantime, consider any one of the following ideas on how to thrill, tantalize, and please your Valentine this year.
1. Make It A Day. A Whole Day!
Oh, where to begin? How about some lingerie for her, and something sexy-rageous for him? Serve each other breakfast like this. Sure you'll both laugh, but what a great way to start. Then for each half-hour or hour, introduce a new sex toy or novelty item from Adam & Eve. Or a game! (Just be sure to turn your phones and mobile devices off!)
2. Massage
It's almost a cliché for couples, but you know what? The hands-on experience of massage always works! And you don't even have to be an expert. Watch a few youtubes for some ideas, then go to our massage oils and lotions page for the oil or lotion that's right for you. May we recommend the candle that you can drip on your lover's body? Put some distance before you drizzle, the warming sensation is obscenely fun! (PS: you can take turns, too!)
3. Create An Experience
Have you seen that movie where he drops a trail of rose petals that lead to the bedroom? No? Well, that's what happens, and it's awesome! Change the mood quickly with Rose Petal Seductions It's a kit. You get a bag of rose petals, 2 candles, a blindfold (very 50 Shades!), 24 seduction cards with games and things to do that will make your heart race. You also get a pencil with white lead to write messages of love on the petals. Douse the lights, light the candles -- Happy Valentine's Day Experience!
4. Go To A Motel
It can be for only a few hours (important if you have kids, use your best sitter), but the change of scenery will help you both focus on -- each other. And if your partner wants to unload about the day, let them, as much as they want. Once that's out of the way, then the fun begins. Don't turn on the TV, but set the lights down low and bring some Adam & Eve goodies with you in a bag. One at a time. If you both love champagne and chocolates, have that ready to. The evening (or afternoon) can start with a light meal at a favorite restaurant (we say "light meal" because things may get frisky!
5. Plan A Surprise
You're thinking, "What about the motel?" Okay, that can count, too. Or a nice hotel. Or a bed & breakfast. The idea here is to think outside of the box. Is there any one thing, or place the two of you would love to do for a few hours? A day? Sit down with a notepad and pencil and jot everything that comes to mind, even selfish ideas -- remember the spirit of Valentine's Day and you'll surprise yourself, and your Valentine!
-- Compiled from Staff Reports
Sex Position of the Month (continued): Birds in Flight
Difficulty Level: Beginner
Simple and straight-forward sex positions that almost anyone can do
Pros & Cons
+ Easier to do than basic cowgirl
+ Puts the woman in control
- More tiring than other sex positions
Instructions
This sex position is designed for women who like taking charge. Start with the man lying down on his back with his legs slightly open. The woman then straddles him and lowers herself gently down on top of him. She positions her legs on either side of his body and leans back with her hands resting on his legs or on the bed to form a letter “M.” This position allows her to control the pace and depth. It places less stress on her body and requires less effort than traditional cowgirl for longer-lasting fun.