The good thing is that I have heard of this issue before. The thing that is unclear is that I have more questions than answers for you about this experience.
You say it began occurring about 8 years ago. Was there anything that changed around that time for you physically or emotionally? Some women who have experienced this had it happen following childbirth or menopause or even a traumatic life event like a car accident, surgery or rape. Do any of these experiences or some other event ring a bell around that time?
Have you discussed this with your OB/GYN? It may be worth it to have your doctor take a look and make sure there is nothing physiologically that could have a bearing on this.
One couple I heard from had the same issue. It improved once the husband stopped thrusting during orgasm. This would take some communication from you, letting your hubby know when you are about come so he could stop thrusting and bear down.
Another couple had some luck with her interlocking her legs behind his hips during orgasm or he pressing her hips into him depending upon what position they were in.
An additional suggestion would be to have you try some systematic relaxation exercises, as you are getting frisky with one another and then slowing all activity way down - focusing on each specific sensation. This may help to sooth any unneeded muscle tension.
Let me know how it goes!
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Get your "cardio" (cardiovascular ) up to strengthen your heart and improve blood flow to your genitals. Workout together if you can.
Pelvic exercises will help you and your partner have and enjoy sex more easily, with more satisfaction. And don't forget, if you're both enjoying sex more, you'll probably have more sex, if that's important to you.
Besides, it's easy to get this one special area back in shape...read on!
Pregnancy, childbirth and simple aging can weaken a woman's pelvic muscles. This can affect everything from bladder control to how much and how strongly you orgasm. Pelvic muscles is the area that stretches from your pubic bones in the front to your "sit bones" in back. Strengthening those PC muscles with kegel exercises will do the trick.
A kegel exercise feels like you're holding your urine in (like you're waiting to use the ladies room and there's a long line, of course ). Doing this exercise will increase muscle tone and blood circulation for better vaginal intercourse. Holding in ben wa balls accomplishes this, or doing kegels with The Ultimate Kegel Kit. Just place the balls inside and hold them in – and not let them fall out. By the way, as your tone strengthens and the kegel muscles get stronger, it becomes easier to hold on to his erection once inside. You'll be his talk of the town for that skill!
Men – "kegels" are good for you, too!
A recent study of erectile dysfunction (ED ), found that 3/4 of the men surveyed improved or regained normal sexual performance just by doing kegels each day. Dudes, just squeeze the muscles that start and stop urine flow, every day while at work, in the car or watching TV. If you do crunches or stretches, try doing kegels at the same time. (You don't have to tell anyone you're doing them. )
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Female or male, when doing kegels give yourself a routine of several times a day for 8 to 12 weeks. For your general health, get a yearly check-up and stay on top of any sex-stressing condition like diabetes, high blood pressure or heart disease. Some medications can affect your enjoyment of sex, so be sure to have that conversation with your doctor. Don't be embarrassed – that person is your doctor. You're probably sitting half naked in their exam room anyway!
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