Beginner Anal Sex Toys and Anal Play
Just because you haven’t done it yet doesn’t mean it’s not fun! That’s what a lot of lovers are discovering about the joys of anal sex toys, either as part of foreplay or during sex. But if neither you nor your partner have tried anal toys, you may be a little confused about exactly what those funny-shaped things are and how to use them. Anal sex toys fall into three main categories: anal beads, anal plugs, and prostate massagers or vibrators.
But first, a little about sex lube (lube should always come first in anal play!). A good anal sex lube is an important part of the fun: because the “back door” has no natural lubricant and the area is very delicate, it needs a thicker lube than usual. Pick a high-quality sex lube designed specifically for anal use. Or try a slight numbing lube, especially good for first-timers. You might have to continue adding lubricant during anal play, no matter which kind you use.
The biggest rule in anal play is to take it slow and easy: nothing in anal play should ever hurt or be uncomfortable. Communication with your partner is an important part of the experience: tell him or her what feels good and what doesn’t.
Warming up: The second most important rule in anal play is to relax the anal area. This is where the fun foreplay really begins, with a nice relaxing massage of the entire ass. Start with one of Adam and Eve’s erotic massage oils. Massage the buttocks in a slow and sexy motion with your hands, letting your partner get really relaxed (but don’t let him or her fall asleep!). Then, lube up your little finger and (informing your partner first -- no surprises in anal warm-ups) sloooooowly insert it in the anus, just a little way. Massage the anus opening slowly with the finger, until you feel your partner relax, and keep inserting the finger and massaging. If your partner feels uncomfortable at any point, stop and back up. This will also tell you how far you can insert an anal toy to start. And when you’re using your finger, be sure to trim and file the nail. If you have long nails, try a cotton ball around the nail and use a latex glove.
Anal Beads: These are the easiest and most comfortable to use for beginners, especially the “graduated-size” beads that start small and get gradually bigger. Graduated beads often come in “sticks” of soft flexible material like silicone or jelly connecting the beads. A good example of these beads are jelly anal beads with 10 beads that start at only a quarter-inch diameter. Of course there are beads on actual strings, and even vibrating anal beads that light up and flash in different colors -- you have to see these work to believe them!). And if you’re worried that these toys might get lost “up there,” relax: anal beads come with handles. To see Adam and Eve’s great selection of anal beads and toys, go here.
How to use them: Remember to lube up generously! Insert the beads slowly, giving your partner a chance to get used to the feel. When your partner says the beads feel good, stop inserting and leave the beads in during sex. When your partner starts to climax, pull the beads out one at a time, straight down, during orgasm. Be prepared for screams of pleasure.
Anal Plugs: Anal or butt plugs are designed to stay in place during sex. They’re tapered cones to glide in easily, but quickly widen for more sensations. Our advice to beginners is to start small with one of the plugs pictured here. Butt plugs can vibrate or not, and many of them come with a suction-cup base for solo play. Then there are plugs that are more like a combination of anal beads and butt plugs For a mind-bending sensation, you can also get anal plugs that vibrate. For a few of our multiple-speed plugs, see our selection here.
How to use them: You can leave the plug in place all during sex, or during masturbation. Start slowly, breathe deeply and relax your sphincter muscles as the plug goes in. Eventually, your muscles will relax just below the widest part of the plug, holding it in place. Don’t panic if it comes out: using an anal plug takes practice as your muscles get used to the sex toy.
One For The Boys: Prostate Massagers and vibrators: Oh baby, oh baby! If your man’s goal is a dynamite orgasm that leaves him quivering in pleasure (and whose goal isn’t?), a prostate vibrator will sure get it done! Prostate or P-spot stimulator wand-type vibrators are basically shaped like a finger with the tip crooked in a “come here” gesture – just about the same shape as a woman’s G-spot vibrator. But many toys designed just for the prostate have additional features that also stimulate the testicles and perineum or “taint” (the area between the balls and rectum)which is also great for solo prostate play. These prostate stimulators are often designed in a modified “L” or “J” shape or shaped a little like a ship’s anchor to stimulate the prostate, testicles and perineum at once.
How to use them: Often called the “male G-spot,” the prostate gland is located inside the rectum, between the base of the penis and the testicles. It’s a round bulge about the size of a walnut. Have your man lie on one side or on his back with his knees drawn up toward his stomach, which allows for better placement of the sex toy. Always insert and use the sex toy gently and slowly. Never use a thrusting motion on the prostate gland: a slight pressure on either side is more effective. If you’re using a prostate massager like the Rude-Boy for masturbation, you can sit up and rock back and forth on it while you use it alone or, for an absolutely mind-blowing experience, with a male masturbator. If you’re using it during sex, go slow (no wild monkey sex yet!) and let your muscles get used to the sex toy. We don’t think we even have to go into the ecstasy of using a prostate stimulator while getting a first-class blowjob or handjob.
If you’re using the wand-type vibrator with your partner, have your lover rock the wand gently from side to side, avoiding the very center of the prostate. A great position for this technique is the Reverse Cowgirl (woman on top and facing away from the man).
These days, anal sex and anal sex toys have lost the taboo status that kept couples from discovering the fun and pleasure of this special, natural act. Sure, it takes a little practice and a sense of adventure, but we think you’ll find that “going in the out door” is worth the trouble.