So you’ve been seeing someone for a few months now, and you’re thinking about that next step and becoming exclusive. Here are a few things to consider before bringing up the topic.
A Phase or Not?
Do you actually want this person to be your partner for the foreseeable future or are you just in a “I really want a boyfriend/girlfriend” mood? You could make list of pros and cons for this potential life partner, but you’ve probably already done that a million times over in your head. Be sure you want this particular person as your partner instead of just wanting a partner.
Prepare For A Letdown
With all the hemming and hawing over the decision at your end, are you also able to handle things if they turn you down? Be confident in your approach, but also balance that out with the thought that the answer will be no or a request for a few days to think it over.
A Back-Up Plan
If you do get turned down, what happens next? Do you keep on dating the same person, hoping that they’ll eventually change their mind? Or do you cut your losses and start looking for someone new? A lot of this depends on their reason for saying no. Maybe your hopeful is about to go off to college and they aren’t sure how they’ll handle the long distance relationship. Or maybe they just need more time after breaking off another exclusive partnership. You just have to ask yourself if this person is worth waiting for and take things from there.
Be up front about what exclusivity means to you. In traditional relationships, it means that you and your partner won’t see anyone else as long as both of you are together. But it could mean something else completely if you’re in an alternative relationship. Be very clear about your expectations and boundaries to avoid potential heartbreak later down the road.