A first date can be an incredibly stressful experience – especially if it’s someone you’re really interested in. Here are a few tips to keep things grounded and help make sure everything goes smoothly on your first date.
Many people end up building unreal expectations into how a first date should go. And they inevitably end up disappointed when the reality doesn’t turn out nearly as good as their fantasy. Allow for the date to unfold naturally and find out for yourself what it’s really like to be in this person’s company. It can help give you a more realistic gauge on whether there is real chemistry or not.
Keep Things Short
Long drawn-out dinners or day-long dates can be completely overwhelming when you’re just meeting someone for the first time. And they can turn into complete disasters if the two of you don’t gel. When it comes to first dates, it’s much better to dip your toes in the water first by meeting up for coffee or tea. This way neither of you has a major financial or time investment in the date. And you’ve got an easy out if you need to make an escape.
Do It During The Day
Dinner dates can be pretty stressful. They require a lot of time when it comes to getting ready and can be pretty pricey especially if you end up getting a few drinks. Day dates are much more friendly and flexible. Many of them focus around an activity such as a baseball game or an art gallery. This gives you something fun and enjoyable to do together so you don’t have to worry quite as much about those awkward silences.
Don’t Follow Ridiculous Dating Rules
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to dating. There’s no law requiring you to wait a day or two before calling or texting someone. And there’s definitely nothing that says guys should pay every time. Ultimately, just do what feels right regardless of what the supposed dating experts might say. Otherwise you might spend all day checking your phone for messages instead of actually talking to your date and getting to know them even better.
Dr. Kat Van Kirk is the resident sexologist at Adam and Eve in addition to being an author and media host. She has a doctorate in clinical sexology and human sexuality. Her professional affiliations include the AASECT, the SSSS, and the American Board of Sexologists. She also has a master’s degree in counseling psychology as well as a postgraduate degree in marriage, family and addictions recovery therapy.