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Question of the Month:
Dear Laura,
What is the strongest external vibrator? I just ordered a pocket rocket. Is there anything stronger? --Love the Vibe
Dear Love the Vibe,
There are all kinds of vibrators out there, from mild to off-the-Richter-scale! If you’re looking for more power, choose toys that are made of smooth, hard plastic or any kind of metal. Hard surfaces transmit vibrations very well. Look for vibes that plug into the wall--these can be much more powerful than battery-operated toys, plus you won’t run out of juice in that critical moment! In increasing order of power, three that you might check out are the G-gasm Delight (powerful, waterproof, smooth plastic), the Better Sex Synergy System (oscillates side to side, interchangeable heads, rechargeable!), and the A&E Magic Massager (extremely powerful, flexible head, plus into wall).
Dear Laura,
I need help finding my wife some porn! She wants one with young studs getting it on with older women. She has fantasies of college hard bodies and can’t find the films she wants. Please help! --Show me the Money Shot
Dear Show Me,
Kudos to you for wanting to fulfill your wife’s fantasies in a terrific, safe way! In the world of adult entertainment, there is truly something for everyone, if you know where to find it. Check out Adam & Eve’s spectacular DVD collection online. I recommend that you browse by type, and begin with “MILF” because that category is focused on mature women with younger men. A few titles that might be worthwhile: My First Sex Teacher, Seduced by a Cougar, and My Friend’s Hot Mom. For some good logistics, check out Nina Hartley’s Guide to Older Women, Younger Men Sex!
Dear Laura,
This is embarrassing but I need to ask someone--I have only had one toe-tingling, knock-your-socks-off orgasm, more than 10 years ago! I enjoy sex--I get wet so I must have come, right? Am I expecting something that I shouldn’t be expecting? --Questing for O
Dear Questing for O,
Getting wet is a sign of arousal, not necessarily orgasm. Women enjoy sex even without reaching their “peak.” Any woman can orgasm, but it’s not necessarily the easiest thing to do--and stressing about it will only make it harder. I highly recommend that you pick up a copy of Tickle Your Fancy, a terrific how-to book on women’s pleasure by Sadie Allison. If you don’t already have a vibrator, invest in a simple one, like the Fukuoku 9000 or the A&E Little Charmer. Vibrators make it much easier to reach an orgasm. Relax, and start exploring to see what feels good to you! The orgasms will follow.
Dear Laura,
I am a perfectly normal straight female in a serious relationship with a man, and we have incredible sex. But I have a strong desire to be with a woman with large breasts. Sometimes I picture myself with a very large-breasted woman to get off when we are having sex. Is there something wrong with this or is this normal? I don’t consider myself a lesbian, or even bisexual; I’ve only had men. But my big breast fetish is getting stronger by the day . . . what should I do? --Big Tit Lover
Dear BTL,
Fantasies are great ways to explore your sensual side--without putting labels on it. However you identify your sexuality is perfect for you--no matter what you call it. As far as exploring this fantasy, there are a few ways to work it into your sex life. I recommend beginning by watching some adult films featuring big-breasted stars with other women, while fooling around with your sweetie. A very hot new title featuring some well-endowed women is Janine Loves Jenna. If you search under “Big Breast” in the DVD/Video section of Adam & Eve, you’ll find a wide selection. Check out Udder Insanity, which features lots of women (plenty of adult superstars!), including girl-girl and three-ways. Finally, if you really want to try to a three-way, check out Nina Hartley’s Guide to Threesomes: Two Girls and a Guy.
Dear Laura,
My wife has recently been trying to convince me to have sex with one of her friends while she watches. She states that the main reason is because her friend is going through a divorce and has not had sex for the past several months and that she needs the sort of stress relief that only good sex can provide. My wife apparently she sees this as not cheating as long as she is in the room. Needless to say, even though this friend is equally as hot as my wife, I am somewhat afraid to proceed any further, even though I am very tempted. --Confused
Dear Confused,
This situation has the potential to become quite emotionally messy, so you are wise to have hesitations. Your wife seems to have good intentions, and she might well be just fine with it--but you never can tell until the actual act is done. The potential for jealousy can be very high. My suggestion is that you go partway here--take baby steps and check in emotionally with each step. You can begin by buying a realistic dildo (A&E Cyber Skin Dream Cock is great!) or a knock-your-socks-off vibrator (check the Internet-enabled Jackrabbit for some serious online fun), perhaps adding an adult film, for the friend to use on her own. If your wife and her friend still want you to be involved, experiment with just using these toys on her. If all feels right, and everyone agrees, perhaps step up to touching and using fingers and hands, then perhaps oral sex. If the request is repeated for actual penetration, be sure that everyone (including you!) feels ok and comfortable with moving on. It might be wise to include your wife, so instead of just “watching” she is participating, making it group play time.
Dear Laura,
My husband has little bumps on his penis and balls. He had them checked when he was younger and the doctor just told him to keep an eye on them. Sometimes you can pop them. One time he said it hurt and when he popped it a white thing that felt like a seed came out. Other times they are like pimples, but they feel kind of hard. What are they? Is this normal? --Bumpy
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