 |
|
 |
|
|
| |
 | |
|
You can Ask Dr. Kat by emailing her at ask@drkat.com. Dear Dr. Kat, I've always considered myself a woman with a very active fantasy life. I've fantasized about sex since I was a teenager but never shared them with anyone - including my partners. Anyway, I have one recurring fantasy that I consider my favorite. What bothers me is that I fantasize that I'm getting raped. I've never been sexually assaulted or abused in any way. I'm not sure what this means, as I of course would never want to be in that position in real life. Should I be concerned? Riley, Atlanta Dear Riley, Some component of "forced sex" is the number one theme in most romance novels. You'd be surprised how many women share this same fantasy with you. They even find freedom in them, as it absolves them from the responsibility of wanting to be sexual - something that many women feel they don't have permission to be in Western society. So many good girl/bad girl messages permeate our culture that many women feel ashamed of, or even scared by, the content of these fantasies. What we all need to remember is that these fantasies are what they are…in our heads! The mind is considered the most sexual part of our body. Through-out our lives a myriad of sexual images float through our heads. Some fantasies we just "try on" for size, while others may become regular favorites that have a constant presence in our mind. It's not uncommon for women, in particular, to have rich sexual lives and yet never feel comfortable in sharing them with their male partners. One may need to feel a certain amount of safety in a relationship, in order to be able to loosen up and share one's innermost desires. And, a fantasy that may include "questionable" content may be particularly difficult to share. The point is that these fantasies are completely healthy. It's up to you how you want to express them - whether you'd like to keep them to yourself, or find a way to safely play them out - like in the wildly popular erotic book, Fifty Shades of Grey. Many couples experiment, and enjoy playing with such scenarios. If you're looking for inspiration, you might want to check out the role-playing suggestions in the book the "Erotic Way", or, in order to get a sense of the spectrum of other women's fantasies, in "Women On Top". Sincerely, | |
 Listen to Dr. Kat's FREE iTunes Podcast See what all the buzz is about! Sex Chat is TOP 20 of Sexuality podcasts on iTunes! Hi I'm Dr. Kat, Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Therapist. Join my gay "boyfriend", Ross and I on the couch as we dish about celebrity sex and relationships, sex in the news, what sex toys we like, the nitty gritty of our own relationships and all the while answering your questions about sex, dating, marriage, STDs, sex ed, and the trials and tribulations of life and love in general. It's a 2 for 1 as you get your sex questions answered from both of our perspectives and we have a lot of fun while we're at it. Find out more at www.DrKat.com and e-mail us your questions at sexchat@drkat.com. |
|
|
|
| Spend some time playing free sex games - like "Sexy Picture Find" & Connect the Dots. Download some wallpapers & learn about our sexy contract girls. |
|
Sasha V. of Maine says, 'Being a Temptations Parties Consultant is so much fun! Working on the weekends, I am making more than I ever was teaching, plus I have tons of free time during the week to have fun with my husband and friends.'
|
| |
| |
Candidly Speaking It would be impossible for you not to have caught the wave of curiosity about the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. I imagine some of you may have read it, as have I…at least the first one. I found it to be familiar territory, covered by classics like "The Story of O", and the many books written by Anne Rice, not to mention several movies, the most infamous being "9 ½ Weeks". I myself have explored the deliciousness of surrender in a few of my movies, including my best-selling series, "Eyes of Desire", albeit a far more benign treatment of a fetish that's more commonplace than many realize. I was, however, stopped dead in my tracks on P.159, where Kate, best friend of Ana, the book's virginal heroine, exclaims, "yea, took almost a year to have my first orgasm through penetrative sex, and here you are…first time?" I couldn't believe it. In one fell swoop, author EL James manages to perpetuate the most oppressive myth still foisted upon women today: that most women should be able to have an orgasm through intercourse alone. EL James clearly never read Shere Hite's ground-breaking book on female sexuality, "The Hite Report" (1977), where she reports the findings of a survey she conducted: that 70% of women do not achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone; or the countless books on female sexuality that explain that the female orgasm can not be achieved without some form of engagement with the clitoris, with most women needing direct stimulation. Hence the incredible surge over the last 20 years in sales of vibrators now that we've finally debunked Sigmund Freud's oppressive claim a century ago that the clitoral orgasm was the "immature" orgasm, urging women to grow up and come the acceptable way! I can't tell you how many letters I still receive from unhappy women asking me how they can achieve orgasm through intercourse only; or men asking me what's wrong with their otherwise perfect wives who just can't seem to climax the right way! As someone who has worked hard at creating sexy, entertaining films that also provide accurate information that can enhance the viewer's own intimate sex life, I am appalled that EL James has, in one small but incredibly irresponsible sentence, likely re-enforced this most destructive myth about female sexuality; and I'm shocked that I haven't heard more of an uproar from those in the field of sexology. Go ahead and enjoy the turn-on, but take it as fantasy, not as fact. Do not try and mimic what books like this portray. EL James is a fiction writer, not a sexologist. And continue to be thankful for the unsung clitoris, the center of female orgasm; and happily engage your tiny but powerful clit in whatever way it needs to help it sing you to orgasm. Candida Royalle is a former star of the blue movie screen who in 1984 created Femme Productions® and pioneered the genre of woman-friendly adult erotica. In 1999, she launched the Euro-designed Natural Contours® line of high-style discreet intimate products. She's the author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do: Sex Advice From a Woman who Knows; and a sought after speaker on topics ranging from how to have great sex to the politics of free expression. Royalle's product lines are available through AdamEve.com. For more information about Candida Royalle, visit www.candidaroyalle.com. | |
 |
| |
|
In honor of Prostate Health Month, we put our research hats on and learned all about this little organ. The prostate is located under the bladder and is used by the body to help produce semen. Often nicknamed the male G-Spot, the prostate is a highly sensitive organ. Even light prostate stimulation can intensify a man's orgasm and substantially increase the amount of semen he ejaculates. Here are a few tips to help keep your prostate in tip-top shape. Cut back on red meat. Research suggests that eating red meat once a week instead of seven days a week may reduce your chance of getting prostate cancer by up to 250%. Eat more soy products. Studies are still on-going but early research shows that soy milk, tofu, and similar items may reduce your risks of prostate cancer. Vitamin D and fresh tomatoes are your friends. Both are helpful ways to reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer. Building a stronger and healthier prostate is an easy way to intensify your own orgasms. There are a number of men's sex toys that focus on the prostate, including butt plugs and anal vibrators. Men's prostate toys are usually slender and slick- -making them comfortable and non-threatening for anal beginners. Most prostate sex toys are even made from special materials to make them easier to clean and maintain. Just be sure to use lots of lube before trying to insert your new prostate sex toy. | |
 |
|
 |
| ||||||||||||
