A&E's Resident Sex Expert Continued

my feelings hurt because he was hiding it from me. Is this normal? Am I over reacting? I believe if you are uncomfortable doing something with your spouse than you need to do it, so you aren't uncomfortable with what ever it is.

Thank you,
Nicky

Hi Nicky,

The short answer is that yes you are normal and no, from my point of view you do not you seem to be over reacting. In fact, if anything, I think that it has been great how you've chosen to integrate porn into your sexual life with your husband. The issue seems more like it might take him some time to get used to the idea that his porn viewings are no longer covert and taboo - some men like to keep them that way. And it may take him some time to see you in this new pro-porn light, willing to act out scenes and such.

Old patterns die hard. The good thing is that they can die and bring about new facets and understanding to your relationship. I think that your belief about doing some things that make you feel uncomfortable in order to gain comfort is generally a good one. But your husband may have his own comfort level with all of this to contend with.

Realize a) he will probably still desire to watch some hard core porn on his own because that is how he has been socialized and that is what is comfortable to him. It is absolutely no reflection on you. b) have a discussion where you state your interests and beliefs about integrating some porn watching together and that acting out scenes are titillating to you (if they truly are - you don't need to do this for him, nor may he want you to), and see what his feelings are about the whole thing. c) everyone should have their own, private masturbatory practices that, yes may get shared with partners once in awhile but I think it might be a good idea for you to develop more of these to get in touch with your arousal and body. Heck, use the soft core porn on your own.

Sincerely,
Dr. Kat

 

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Dress Up Sexy This Halloween! Continued

outfit underneath is something slinky for an extra tease.

3. Nasty Pirates. Men, do you want an excuse to get shirtless? You can't go wrong with a pirate costume. Tuck a pair of slacks into boots, don a bandana, tie on a sash, and grab a sword to become a dangerous (and dangerously sexy) pirate king. Women can wear a leather skirt instead of slacks and don a bikini top instead.

4. Steamy Gladiators. With Spartacus, 300, and other media causing resurgence in their popularity, there are plenty of gladiator costumes available—and most of them really know how to show off your body. Women can choose from cleavage-enhancing bustiers and leather-look skirts while the guys can go with as little as a pouch or loincloth! Make sure to bring along a weapon; good gladiators go armed.

5. Sexy Soldiers. Bust out the camo and be prepared to salute, soldier! Whether you're rescuing a playmate in distress or you're both being pinned down behind enemy lines, you'll love how versatile these costumes can be. Go with short-shorts and a cut-off top or a chest-baring open shirt look for super sex appeal. You can find plenty of pieces in military surplus stores and thrift stores.

Remember to stay safe and sexy this Halloween-and that Adam & Eve has plenty of sexy Halloween and bedroom costumes for women, as well as hip and steamy loungewear and fantasy underwear for men. Shop now for ghoulishly good deals!

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Full Body Sexual Massage For Happy Endings Continued

Before you begin, start with a bath or shower together. Have the massage recipient lay face down on a beach towel on the floor.

Make sure the room is warm and comfy. Partial or full nudity is good. Some kinds of lingerie can add fun, too. He doesn't have to be totally naked either – create some anticipation for later. Have hand towels ready in case the massage giver gets sweaty.

Lighting should be soft and subtle. Music should be instrumental, as words can be distracting. Scented candles or incense can also make this a special space to be in.

When using massage oil, it's nice to warm it up by placing the bottle or tube in a small bowl of very warm water. Apply oil to your hands first, then massage it in. It's more sensual and soothing that way.

Have a wet soapy washcloth ready in case you need to remove oil from hands or elsewhere. Be aware that many oils don't work well with condoms and certain sex toys.

• In massage, it's all about the recipient.
• Keep verbal communication to a minimum.
• Keep verbal communication to a minimum.
• Let their focus be on your touch.

Where to start? No, not her butt.

• Start at the feet and work your way up slowly with firm, non-tickling strokes towards the head.
• Don't skip over any areas.
• Stop just short of the butt and do the leg again, from ankle to thigh.

Now at the butt, have fun and take your time. Be firm.

• Continuing up the body, avoid the spine by working muscles on either side of it.
• Ask where the tension is – usually shoulders or neck.

Now you're ready to flip. Give your subject one more set of strokes from the feet all the way to the head first. After the flip, you'll massage towards the feet.

• Part the legs slightly, you can put pillows under head and knees. • Massage the face with light fingertips and very little oil.
• Guys – move down her neck towards arms, gently brushing against breasts. Don't grab... tease!
• Ease into breast massage, slowly and gently, cupping as you rub. Alternate breasts, also do both at the same time.
• Nipples love attention – gradually. Find out what she finds pleasurable.

His chest is less delicate. Massage firmly, but don't forget, some men have sensitive nipples, too!

Keep working down along the tummy and sides of the legs. Take your sweet time before brushing up lightly near genitals, getting closer each time.

• Make them want it. Suddenly grabbing or rubbing genitals is too much of a jolt.
• When you arrive at inserting fingers vaginally, it might be a good idea to remove oil from your hands and switch to a sex lube.
• If you're skilled at giving her an orgasm by hand, then go for it. If you're still developing your skills at stimulating her clitoris, have her trusty vibrator on stand-by. Of course you could always engage in oral sex – and screw, too!

For his happy ending, keep using the massage oil. If intercourse is part of the plan, wipe off the oil and switch to a sex lube pace your strokes, even stopping then starting again.

• If you're giving him a happy ending with your hands, you can really have some fun with this. Bring him close to the edge. Then stop. A few rounds of this should build to a huge climax. Massage oil is fine for this. There's also a great cream that also moisturizes and is long-lasting.

Don't worry if he comes unexpectedly. He's not going to complain. Use the experience to learn how to read his body.

At the end of the session, use your hand towel and remove excess oil from the massage recipient's skin. Or take a quick warm shower and then pass out in total bliss.

 

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October is the Sweetest Month Continued

Spanish Fly Mints – Boost your sexual appetite libido-enhancing amino acids and proven aphrodisiacs with a cherry or peppermint flavored mint.

Oral Pleasure Mints – Pick Numbing to eliminate that pesky gag reflex and make blowjobs easier or Warming for a super-stimulating spicy kick.

Candy Heart Chemise – This isn't exactly edible, but it fits in so well we couldn't leave it out. As an added bonus, the candy hearts have suggestive messages like "Hot 4 U" and "Play Now."