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You can Ask Dr. Kat by emailing her at ask@drkat.com. Hi Dr. Kat, Why am I obsessed with the thought of having three-ways with my wife? Sincerely, Dear Jerry, You are not alone. The ménage-a-trois fantasy with your partner is very common. And I don't just hear it from the husbands but from wives too. For some, it's just the taboo of sharing a partner. For some it is all about the overall stimulation of senses. You get to be in the mix of what is going on sexually but you also get full visuals on what your partner is doing with the other person. These fantasies can vary widely from involving someone you both know as the third, or someone you pick up in a bar to simply a faceless stranger with all the right body parts. |
Listen to Dr. Kat's FREE iTunes Podcast Interested in all things spicy and even down right dirty? Let Dr. Kat and her gay boyfriend Ross guide you through sexy Q&As, saucy sex stories from the media and funny sex education bits – all from the comfort of iTunes. Find out more at www.DrKat.com and e-mail us your questions at sexchat@drkat.com. |
Candidly Speaking I often hear from women who, while wanting to be open to watching erotic films with their partner, end up comparing themselves to the perfect-bodied women on screen. Not surprisingly, this tends to ruin the experience for them. I point out to them that, according to my friend, Dr. Marty Klein, a sex therapist who counsels couples, men are usually not watching movies wishing their woman looked like the actress on screen; they're with the woman they want! If they're wishing anything, it's that their woman was as comfortable with her body and with her sexuality as the woman on screen. In my experience, if you ask a man what turns him on most about the woman he's intimate with, he's likely to tell you that it's seeing her excited and lost in the moment. Men aren't in bed with a score-card, grading our bodies and looking for flaws. They're hoping to get us to a place where we forget what we look like, where we're so completely turned on that we stop worrying about the size of our thighs or our belly that was once flat or the stretch marks on our once perky breasts. And here's something else we tend to forget when we're so caught up in our insecurities: men can get just as caught up in their own concerns about their aging bodies and their ability to turn us on. So while we're laying there worrying about how we look instead of letting ourselves get lost in the moment, they’re interpreting our holding back as a sign that they no longer have what it takes to get us there. So instead of the two of us sharing this most wonderful expression of desire for one another, we're both laying there thinking something's wrong! Here's a way to shut off those nagging thoughts, or any thoughts that get in the way of pleasure: instead of focusing on what your body looks like, start focusing on how your body feels. Focus on how he's touching you. Is he stroking your body in a sensual way? How does that feel? Is he passionately gripping you around your waist or holding you by your shoulders? How does that feel? And don't see it in a judging way, as good or bad. Just feel...lie back and feel the touch of his hands or the wetness of his tongue. When you touch him, how does his skin feel? When you run your fingers through his hair, how does his hair feel? If you nuzzle your face in to the crook of his neck, what is his scent? Don't think. Turn off the thoughts and feel, or smell. This will help you get back to the moment, to be present. It can be challenging at first, but very rewarding at best. Candida Royalle is a former star of the blue movie screen who in 1984 created Femme Productions® and pioneered the genre of woman-friendly adult erotica. In 1999, she launched the Euro-designed Natural Contours® line of high-style discreet intimate products. She's the author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do: Sex Advice From a Woman who Knows; and a sought after speaker on topics ranging from how to have great sex to the politics of free expression. Royalle's product lines are available through AdamEve.com. For more information about Candida Royalle, visit www.candidaroyalle.com. |
To help make your shopping a little easier, your friends at Adam & Eve have put together a quick and convenient gift guide for whoever might be on your holiday list. THE ULTIMATE GIFT FOR MENThe Fleshlight is one of the most popular masturbators worldwide. Prized for its discreetness and portability, the best-selling masturbator is most valued for its ability to create a blowjob-like sucking sensation. The user can even adjust the intensity of this sensation to create their ideal masturbatory experience. THE ULTIMATE GIFT FOR WOMENThe Fifi Rabbit Vibrator made by Je Joue is one of our strongest sex toys. But what really makes this vibe special are the two mini vibrator motors hidden inside the rabbit ears. Just place your clit between the ears and turn up the power and you'll be screaming in seconds. The vibrator even has a third motor inside the tip for G-Spot stimulation. And it's waterproof. And it's rechargeable. And it's made from silicone. We could keep going on about all the special features, but you should just order one and find out for yourself. It'll be quicker that way, trust us! THE ULTIMATE GIFT FOR COUPLESIf you want a racy gift for your best married friends or something you can share with your own partner, then it doesn’t get any better than the We-Vibe Thrill. The newest vibrator from the award-winning We-Vibes features improved, user-friendly controls as well as increased power. As with other We-Vibes, you can even use them during sex for mutual stimulation! |
Spend some time playing free sex games – like "Sexy Picture Find" & Connect the Dots. Download some wallpapers & learn about our sexy contract girls. |
No one should need an excuse to have an orgasm. But if you do, this December 21st, plenty of horny, peace-loving folk will be participating in one of the most pleasurable events ever: Global Orgasm Day! |
Santa Baby, please make sure you double check who's been naughty and who's been nice – because we have sexy ideas for everybody! Feel free to adjust the number and type of gifts as your generosity dictates. And ah one, and ah two... |
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If you've been naughty, just double – and give – the above to your mate. If you've been nice, all the goodies are given to YOU! |
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